It's better than Irwin...

I used to think there was no activity more boring than sitting around an airport during a flight delay. After watching last night's "House," I know there's something worse: watching two TV characters debate their non-existent relationship while sitting around an airport during a flight delay.

Look, I like Sela Ward, and when she's just shutting down House's bullshit outside the boundaries of their great undying love, she's fine. But their incessant yammering about whether to bump uglies made me hope the annoying kid would come back and hit one or both of them in the head with his new rubber ball.

Much better was the bickering of the three House-ettes without papa to maintain discipline, and in honor of their using a reporter named Fletch, I present my list of Best "Fletch" Quotes, in no particular order:

• "Why don't you two go to the gym and pump each other?"
• "It's Dr. Rosenpenis."
• "Using the whole fist, doc?"
• "Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo."
• "Look, defenseless babies!"
• "Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?"
• "I like men. I like to be manhandled. I like you."
• "Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays!"

I could go on all day with those. Me and my friend Fitz went entire years in college without having actual conversations; we'd just quote "Fletch" at each other. Good times.