Sunday, October 04, 2009

Mad Men, "Souvenir": La dolce vita

Spoilers for tonight's "Mad Men" coming up just as soon as I shoot a water balloon across the office...
"Of course. This never happened." -Joan
Joan's sentiment will be later echoed by Pete in his conversation with poor Gudrun the au pair, but nearly every scene in "Souvenirs" is one that one or both of its participants will try to disavow later. Everyone's playing a role, and while it may briefly be fun for some of them - particularly for Don and Betty on a short but sweet Rome getaway - in the end they have to ignore the fantasy and get back to the crummy reality of their lives.

Joan is composed enough to play the bored but happy housewife for Pete, but her face falls as soon as he's out of site. Pete tries playing carefree bachelor, then helpful neighbor, then sexual aggressor, but as soon as Trudy comes back from Rehobeth, he reverts to the scared, wounded, manipulative little boy we know he is. Sally plays at being a grown-up woman like her mom, but Bobby mocks her for it and the boy she kisses seems mostly confused. Henry Francis plays at being Betty's hero, and even gets a kiss out of it, but Betty makes it clear that that's all he'll get, telling Francine (in reference to the reservoir fight), "I'm done with that."

And for a couple of days in Rome, Don and Betty play at being a happy couple, and then attractive strangers having an international tryst. When they return home, Don is eager to keep playing - adopting new identities is his specialty, and seeing his wife doing it makes him more attracted to her than he's been since their first kiss days - but Betty for once is the more grounded and realistic one. She knows their marriage is still fundamentally broken - she was there for Don's temper tantrum last week, and for all the other problems they've suffered - and that her life will always be unsatisfying, but it's the marriage, and the life, she's stuck with. Their Italian getaway is a great story Don can tell, but it doesn't make their relationship any stronger than a week at Lake George did for Francine and Carlton.

When Henry shows up to (temporarily) save the day with the town council, he tells Betty and Francine that when you don't have power, the best move can be to delay - to put things off and hope the problem goes away on its own. With their role-playing in this episode, our characters are trying to do the same, but most of them realize there's a moment where the costume has to come off, and then the reality will be the same as it ever was.

But if most of the characters have to pretend by the end of the episode that their role-playing didn't happen, at least we get to witness the playing, whether it's sexy (Don and Betty) or creepy (Pete and Gudrun).

Now, I think we can all be in agreement that January Jones is a lovely woman, particularly in the Grace Kelly style the show puts her in. But everything in "Souvenir" - the costuming, hair, makeup and lighting (particularly in the Rome scenes) - seems designed to make her look extra-glamorous. And where Don seems doomed to be out-of-fashion with his Cary Grant look, Betty slides naturally into the '60s when she emerges from the Rome Hilton's salon with that amazing beehive, the dangly earrings, the dress and the blue eyeshadow.

I say this not to objectify one of the show's leads - though goodness knows, we could all spend a lot of time in these discussions drooling over Jones, or Jon Hamm, or Christina Hendricks, etc. - but to note that Matthew Weiner (who wrote the script with Lisa Albert), director Phil Abraham and the crew were making a concerted effort to augment Jones' natural beauty. They want to make absolutely clear how wasted Betty is (or, at least, how wasted she feels) as a housewife in Ossining. Here she is, this gorgeous creature who speaks fluent Italian, studied anthropology, and has the charisma on top of her looks to wrap men as powerful as Henry Francis, or as distant as her own husband, around her finger when she puts a mind to it, and she's suffocating in the life she has. Some of this is on her, and on her upbringing, but it's still hard to see how vibrant and happy she is in Rome, and how deflated she is back on Bullet Park Rd.

(Incidentally, when I was on Bill Simmons' podcast earlier this week, we talked about how different, if at all, "Mad Men" might be if it was on HBO, and we came to the agreement that the show doesn't need, and wouldn't use, nudity. And Don and Betty's drunken foreplay in their hotel room backed me up on that. It was a reminder of how powerful and erotic a scene can be even when the participants are (semi) clothed and the camera discreetly pans away before anything major happens. See also the famous love scene from "Out of Sight," though that one was spiced up by the non-sequential storytelling.)

"Souvenir," like last season's "The Inheritance," builds its two main stories around Betty and Pete, the show's two overgrown children. But where Betty's story here is a reminder of how strong and powerful she can be when she acts the grown-up, Pete's is a reminder of just how dangerous a boy in a man's suit can be.

Is what Pete does to Gudrun rape? It's more ambiguous than what Dr. Greg did to Joan - here, the pressure Pete was using was emotional, not physical, since he knew how much Gudrun feared losing her job - but whatever you want to label it, it was stomach-churning. (And made even worse by how Gudrun's boss treated it as an accepted thing that he objected to solely because it inconvenienced him.) And then it was sad to see how easily Pete was able to deflect his guilt for the thing - not the forcing, but the cheating - onto Trudy by telling her, "I don't want you to go away anymore without me."

Included in the stylistic template of "Mad Men" is a reluctance to use establishing shots. Though we occasionally see the outside of the Sterling Cooper building, most scenes don't get any kind of transitional image to tell you, "Okay, now we're moving from here to here" or "Okay, we're back here on the following morning." It's not always that noticeable because the show does such long scenes, but there were several sequences in "Souvenir" where we just followed either Betty or Pete throughout their day, bam-bam-bam - no establishing shots, no dissolves or other obvious transitions, just one quick cut after another of their frustrated, empty lives. But where Betty manages to be perfectly put-together even when she's bored, we see just how easily Pete lets himself unravel when Trudy's not around and he has nothing to do and no one to stroke his ego. He's drinking more, blacking out on the couch, looking at times like a cross between a little boy (particularly eating cereal on the couch as he watches "Davey & Goliath") and a feral animal.

I don't know that he sets out to take advantage of Gudrun. Again, Peter Campbell is in constant need of outside approval, and in the au pair he sees a chance to play the hero and be profusely thanked for it. But then the thanks come, and they're not enough, particularly when combined with still more booze. And so he goes back, wolf-ish, to get what he wants.

And then Trudy comes home, and Pete can't keep this indiscretion from her. But Trudy has clearly learned by now that the only way to thrive (or at least survive) in a marriage to Peter Campbell is to play the role of his ever-doting, supportive wife/mother/housekeeper. "You're my husband; I want what you want," she says, dismissing her desire for a child because she knows it upsets him. And the poor girl lets the schmuck off the hook. Like Betty, this isn't the life she wants, but the life she has. And by staying in it, she's enabling Pete to do what he wants, when he wants, because he can always cry for Trudy's forgiveness when he needs it.

We see in the vanity mirror scene(*) how much Sally is fascinated by and worshipful of her mother. Puberty is still a few years away, but she's starting to become interested in makeup, and boys, and playing House. She also possesses her daddy's temper, which she takes out on Bobby after he catches her K-I-S-S-I-N-G Francine's son, but what she really wants is to understand the power Betty so obviously holds over men.

(*) Interesting things tend to happen when "Mad Men" characters are in front of mirrors, don't they?

After briefly giving into her attraction to Henry Francis, Betty puts him out of her head, explaining her reasons to Sally (who thinks her mom is just talking in generalities), saying of first kisses, "It's where you go from being a stranger to knowing someone. And every kiss with them after that is a shadow of that kiss." Maybe she would feel differently about the idea if she was married to a man who actually loved her. But all she has is Don, who can only pretend to love her, and so of course every kiss now seems a shadow of their first.

I'll be curious to see over the season's remaining episodes if Betty is just done with Henry, or with adulterous flirtation in general. Has she decided the whole concept is pointless, or is she preparing to play the role of vulnerable, lovelorn woman to a series of men who can each provide a first kiss?

Some other thoughts on "Souvenirs":

• Last week I said I thought that Don, Betty and Peggy were the only characters to appear in every episode. Then we get an episode with no Peggy at all. Has this happened before and I'm misremembering?

• The August setting also makes it easy to save money by keeping several other regulars (Roger, Bert, Sal) off-camera, and it sets up Ken's hilariously crude line about SC upper management: "Cooper's in Montana, Sterling's in Jane, and Draper's on vacation."

• While Bonwit Teller, the department store where Pete exchanges the dress, has closed, the Gristedes grocery store chain (Pete had one of their bags when he found Gudrun trying to throw the dress down the trash chute) is still in business.

• It's funny: even though I knew Pete had gone to Bonwit Teller, when the camera pushed in on Pete's back, I thought for sure the woman coming to see him would be Rachel Mencken, and I was gobsmacked (as I'm sure I was supposed to be) when it turned out to be Joan. And note that poor Joan, even in depressing circumstances she'd rather her old co-workers not find out about, once again completely rocks any job put in front of her. Now, do you suppose Dr. Greg is actually exploring psychiatry, or is that just a specialty she pulled out of thin air when Pete unexpectedly asked a follow-up question? You could read the pause (and the catch in her voice) either as a lie, or as Joan once again coming to grips with her new situation.

• Also, while Betty temporarily goes with the beehive, we see Joan has let her hair down in the new job.

• I liked the contrast of Betty's goofy, endearing "We won!" dance in front of Don with her disdainful suggestion that they put the water tower up in Newburgh, since "it's already disgusting." She can be really warm, and then really cold, in short order.

• Francine's been largely absent this season, which is a shame if you (like me) are a fan of Anne Dudek, but we got a good concentrated dose of her in "Souvenir," as she shows herself to be both savvy and pushy about Betty's private business, and as she once again casually tosses off comments that were acceptable at the time but cringe-inducing now. ("The board is trying to Jap us with a sudden meeting.")

• I thought it was a nice touch that Don scribbled the flight information onto Betty's cold-call list. Not only have we seen Don frequently jots down thoughts on whatever piece of paper is handy (cocktail napkins, inter-office memos), but it's a reminder to Betty of how little he really values what she's doing. To Don, the list is just glorified note paper.

• A couple of other guest star notes: The mayor was played by Mark Metcalf, who's best known for one of two roles: fascist ROTC leader Niedermeyer in "Animal House," and The Master on the first season of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Pete's neighbor Ed Lawrence, meanwhile, was serial guest star Ned Vaughn.

Finally, the slightly modified version of the commenting rules mostly worked last week, so let me just remind you how this works. Until we get to 200 comments (i.e., until the comments are split into separate pages), the original rules apply (skim everything before posting to avoid annoying duplication). After 200, if you're going to ask a question, or if you're going to suggest a theory or observation that you don't think has come up yet (i.e., "I think that guy Connie from the country club bar might be Conrad Hilton" or "Do you think Joan's bloody dress was supposed to be a Jackie Kennedy analogue?"), or if you want to answer or correct something from a previous comment, I want you to do a word search (every web browser has one, usually listed as Find in the Edit menu) for some possible keywords you might be using. (In those cases, try "Hilton" or "Jackie" or "bloody.") If you don't see any of your keywords - and again remember that Blogger splits the comments into multiple pages once you get past 200, so check 'em both - then ask/opine away.

It may seem annoying or laborious for you to do this, but I want everybody to show respect for - and not waste - everyone else's time and effort, and this seems the best way to do that.

What did everybody else think?

305 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 305 of 305
Artemisia said...

Ha! Excellent.

I agree with Jann and Yalla - Betty looked lovely but that was one awkward beehive. I laughed, too. Hairspray! - yes or some science fiction show.

And I agree with LizBeth - Betty doesn't exude much intelligence or interest in anything (up until the reservoir project). So I don't really feel she's all that wasted in Ossining. Maybe she could have some glamourous job as a receptionist, but in the end she'd end up married to a rich man, so how different would her life be then?


Pete and the au pair? Rape, for sure. Just not aggravated rape. She had made it very clear earlier that she wasn't comfortable having a drink with him. When he knocked on the door later and insisted on seeing her in the dress, there was an implied threat that he'd tell her employers about the dress. Alan summed it up nicely when he said this is a reminder of just how dangerous a boy in a man's suit can be.

I really missed the office in this episode.

Anonymous said...

For Pete's sake, surprised you Mad Men lovers haven't figured out the symbolism of the shirt as straight-jacket. (At least a search of "straight" and "jacket" didn't turn it up.) And I was going to mock its obviousness. Phew.

Mike Cavaliere said...

Great review of the episode. It always surprises me how in-depth you go with every article but, man, if this isn't the show for it, I don't know what is.

I've loved Mad Men since episode 1 and have been into this season from the start, but these last few have just been incredible. The show has such an amazing tragic beauty to it. Each of the characters, all of the acting - everything is just impeccable.

Anonymous said...

Don and Betty's marriage is real. There's ups and their downs and you can love your spouse and still hurt them at the same time. That being said, I sort of felt sorry for Don in this episode. Connie has him, and he is no longer the master of his own self. I felt that Betty was cruel with him in the last scene. Since the season 2 finale we see Doe trying to be a better husband and father. And Betty made him feel like their Rome trip was nothing. The reality of married life is that you can't get away often and you make the best of any opportunities you have. People have so much contempt for Don and Betty but their marriage with all its problems is a true depiction (though most aren't married to such good looking people). Marriage is wonderful at times but it is hard.

Unknown said...

Here's my two cents about the potential rape:

Gudrun had no real reason to let Pete into the apartment. She already had a new dress in her possession, so what leverage did Pete have? If he told her employers about the stained dress, he'd also have to admit acting extremely creepy by going to get her a replacement. It seems that any attempt to expose Gudrun after exchanging the dress would out him in his own building (floor even) as a philanderer.

There was also sort of an indication that by leading Pete into her room she expected to have to try on the dress in front of him.

Crying the day after sex can be the result of many things which are not rape.

There are definitely some issues of power here that rightfully make people queasy. I read the scene as the parties honoring an unspoken an arrangement. Not rape, but quite unsavory, and rather despicable on the part of Pete.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
So w/the stained dress someone's going to die this season I think and I'm putting my money on Betty.


I completely agree. Five of the first seven episodes had blood in them. When I first saw the dress I thought is was blood before we learned it was wine.

I recall the actor who plays pete talked about how much blood they bought on to the set before episode six.

The last few episodes the tension was so high I am just waiting for their to be a death.

Susan said...

Anonymous, IMO I don't think there is going to be a death, other than the fact President Kennedy will die later that year. but it's interesting you interpret the blood that way. Grandpa Gene has already died. Of course, I am always surprised by the twists and turns. Seeing Joan at the department store was a surprise.

Bruce Thomson said...

Haven't read through all the comments, so may have already been posted, but I see a lot of reference to role reversal while Don and Betty are Rome - that's very evident - but has anyone pointed out that they switched sides in bed?

PanAm53 said...

I gave birth to two babies in the 1960's.

At that time, women were instructed by their OB's to not gain any extra weight that they would have to lose after the birth of the baby. That is, they were only to gain the amount of weight to account for the weight of the baby, placenta, increased fluid volume, etc. This would be about 16 pounds total. Women were told that any extra weight gained would be difficult to loose after the birth of the baby. Betty is quite vain and weight conscious. She would definitely try very hard not to gain any extra weight. While Betty was pregnant, Don commented on her food intake, saying the baby would only weigh one pound.

If a woman does not gain any extra weight during a pregnancy, she will not have any extra fat on her midriff, or any other part of her body. I found that Betty having a flat midriff two months postpartum was more realistic for that time than the padding that they placed on Betty during the immediate postpartum period.

Also, Betty had help with her newborn son. She was not breastfeeding, and therefore not tied down 24/7 as today's women are.

Except for the initial postpartum padding of Betty, the portrayal of a mom to a newborn in 1963 is very accurate.

KB said...

I think some people are mischaracterizing the scenes with Pete and Gudrun. I don't think it can be said that Pete forced his way into the apartment or barged in on her or in anyway physically pushed his way in. Nor do I think Pete had any real power over the girl. Pete was not her employer. He does not have the power to send her home. His only retaliation for not getting what he wanted would be to tell on her about the dress. Pete might have even been reminded of his tattling on Don to Cooper.

Certainly Pete used coercion to get what he wanted, but that's not criminal. That's the business he's in. He just doesn't seem to be very good at it.

Karen said...

Great analysis, Alan.

I think the part that made me laugh the hardest was the look Don shot Francine after she commented that from what she'd heard they must be awfully tired.

I felt sorry for Pete, which I suspect won't be a popular stance. Here it looked like he was trying to be a decent guy, being nice for nice's sake, but in the end that's just not enough for him, is it? I think the scene with Gudrun was complex: yes, she put out her arm and drew him in, but only when it was clear that she was going to have to bow to the inevitable. I thought less of rape and more of extortion; less of Polanski and more of Letterman--a man taking advantage of his position of power. For all Gudrun knew, a lack of acquiescence would mean Pete would bust her to the Lawrences. She wasn't going to have the chance to fight this, even without physical coercion. It was terrible. And even Pete knew it was terrible. That's what makes him confess it to Trudy, I think.

I even felt bad for Betty, and I NEVER feel bad for Betty. Standing back in her Ossining kitchen, smoothing out her dress, with her hair down again, she made me think of Cinderella after she's come home from the ball. Despite depicting Betty mostly as a petulant child, the show gave us a Betty this weekend who was cool, collected, and in control (she handled the ragazzi with staggering aplomb, and didn't bat an eye over Don's role-playing game). But even that strong Betty was mostly at the mercy of men: helped by Mr Francis at the council hearing, squired by Don, hosted by Connie, and then in thrall again to young Gene. What a waste her life has been--just like her father said.

Lisa said...

I've been thinking a lot about the use of color and character this season. Maybe it's all in my imagination -- MM after all has been a painstakingly gorgeous show from an art direction perspective since the beginning -- but has anyone else noticed the particular deepness and brightness of color used in the past few episodes, not only in wardrobe, but on the sets in general? I'm not just going for the blood and stain allusions that people are connecting to the whole JFK thing.

Betty and Joan's wardrobes have seemed especially saturated with color these past few episodes, and I wonder if it's an indicator of how these particular characters are going to be putting themselves front and center against their undesirable circumstances. That blast of yellow and gold when Betty and Don walked into the Rome Hilton was staggering, and I remember after they got home, Betty was wearing this multicolor pantsuit that was particularly striking. And then, you have the bright green of that killer tractor from John Deere.

Again, this just might be examples of Emmy-quality art direction that keeps getting better with every episode. But I have to wonder if there's more to it. Are our put-upon Mad Women finally becoming peacocks?

Anonymous said...

Anon at 11:34 asked: "A clue that Betty is sick (are there any illnesses that make you smell weird things)?" Another anon answered that a brain tumor could cause one to smell burning rubber, which is true. But since both Don and Betty mentioned the smell, we can rule out an impending brain in future scripts. But then again, that might explain some of Betty's behavior as of late.

Anonymous said...

The people of the MM era had parents whose parents were from the Victorian era (would have been the Draper's grandparents). During the Victorian era women were raised to not have opinions, to rely soley on men, were basically their husband's property and their only goal was to have children. Married women of that era did not own property, and if they did divorce (which was almost impossible) the husband got custody of the children. Victorian mother's were sexually repressed and emotionally cold toward their children.

What we see of both Don and Betty an all of the MM characters are the influences of that era as evidenced by the Draper's parenting style and the way they relate to one another. By the 60's cracks in the social order began to show. Women were unhappy but still unable to totally assert themselves and stuck being submissive housewives. Male attitudes of that era still reflect the old order as evidenced by what we see on MM.

The children of the 60's broke through those old notions and we see the beginnings of that in Sally Draper in her angry outbursts with her parents, fighting with her brother, kissing boys, etc.

I am a child of the 60's so much of what I see on MM brings back many memories. My mom who was about Betty Draper's age discussed the angst and misery of being a young woman and wife during the 60's.

Do a google search of Victorian era influences on women and sexuality and you will get a better idea of what I am saying....

It would be great to hear other opinions on the topic...

Jon Williams said...

What makes you so certain that Don doesn't love Betty? She's frustrating no doubt but I think he sincerely cares.Sometimes you hurt the ones you love.

nosuchthingas said...

The au pair's stained dress, along with Betty brushing off her dress when the Draper's are back from Italy lead me to thoughts of Lady MacBeth:

"Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!"

Granted this may be a little weak, but perhaps she cannot get rid of the feelings of that kiss, and their sham of marriage, freshly reignited.

Anonymous said...

Did no one ELSE laugh out loud over Pete Campbell's exchange at Bonwit Teller?

"I'd like to speak to the manager."

"Of the entire store?"

"Of the Republic of Dresses! Whoever can help me with this because you're falling short.."

LDP said...

For Pete's sake, surprised you Mad Men lovers haven't figured out the symbolism of the shirt as straight-jacket. (At least a search of "straight" and "jacket" didn't turn it up.) And I was going to mock its obviousness. Phew.

Actually, the word is "straitjacket."

I didn't think of the scene that way. Instead, I saw it as another sign of Pete's immaturity. He takes off his shirt the way my 13-year-old son removes his.

Julia said...

PanAm53: (guys can skip this)

I had two kids in the later 60s and you are right about the weight business - I was terrified of going to the OB and being weighed. I was repeatedly threatened with hospitalization and told to drink Metrical to keep the weight gain down. I only gained 12 pounds with the first one and 15 with the second one.

My 3rd child in 1972 was entirely different. By that time they had figured out that eclampsia was not brought on by weight gain - it was chemical or something. What torture for nothing. And I wonder if it hurt the babies. My first child - a boy - was barely 5'3" when he graduated HS. He finally reached 5'10" by the end of college. Second child had dyslexia.

On the other hand, the first two were born at a med school hospital where I had a local anesthestic and was trained to work along with the contractions. Within an hour of delivery I was eating a big meal and calling friends. The third child in 1972 was in a suburban hospital and they gave me twilight. It was horrible - I was so fuzzy I couldn't control my breathing or go with the contractions - it was a nightmare. And I was very aware of everything and not back to myself for at least another day.
I fought the nurse while on the gurney telling her my chart said I wasn't supposed to get that stuff and she subdued me and injected me anyway. By the time the doctor got there it was too late. Mean Bxxx just like the one Betty had to deal with. Should have sued the hospital.

My mom used to tell me that once you saw the baby you forgot about how bad it was - ha, she didn't know it was the drugs that did that. I probably remembered things because I had been through it fully conscious twice before and recognized what was going on, but had no control of my physical reactions.

Julia said...

Anonymous at 12:39:

You asked for comments.

My mom was born on a farm in 1917 -that would have been Edwardian, but not much better than Victorian era. I was a war baby and graduated high school in 1962, the class depicted so perfectly in American Graffiti.

My mom & her friends expected to be housewives and mothers. But many had gone to college and had worked during the war, unlike their mothers. My mom had been an executive secretary, others nurses and she even had a friend who was a lawyer. But the lawyer could only find work as a judge's clerk -no law firm would hire her.

Like Betty, my mom and her friends did community work. So they used their skills, raised their kids, socialized with friends and did not seem frustrated to me. My mom was the financial whiz in the family and put what she learned in college and at various investment clubs to good use and my parents had great retirement funds because of her. She & her friends sat on boards and were the backbone of the community, but none of her friends had been a high fashion model like Betty.

The husbands seemed to value their wives, but it was assumed that the husband was the head of the family. For the wives, the husband came first before the kids. I don't think these women were cold to their kids, but it was certainly more hands-off than it is now. No helicopter mothers, for sure. Kids were expected to grow up and be responsible for themselve much earlier. I was taking the bus with my friends to the city on Saturday to have lunch and a movie when I was 12 yrs old. We could walk or take the bus to almost anywhere and I'll bet Sally and her siblings will have the freedom to do that, too. Kids are much more dependent on their parents today.

One thing that made MM time so different was the prevailing attitude toward compensation for work. It was just as common for a married man to be paid more than a single man for the same work as it was to pay women less. This was the main justification for denying women places in law school and med school - they were taking the place of a man who would be the family breadwinner. It was assumed the women would drop out when they had kids.

Anyway, I have a foot in two worlds. I entered college in 1962 when "in loco parentis" was firmly in place (e.g.boys were only allowed in the first floor dorm lobby) and when I graduated people were starting to shack up off campus, smoke pot and riot in the streets.

yy said...

Alan I disagree with the idea that Betyy plays the role of vulnerable, lovelorn woman to a series of men who can each provide a first kiss.

To the contrary, it is men who are projecting the role of vulnerable, lovelorn woman upon Betty. The reason for this is her stunning looks.

I go back to the parlor scene with the Junior League last episode, where one of the ladies commented that it wasn't adorable for Betty to pretend she didn't know she was adorable.

She absolutely realizes this, and that is the real point of the episode with Henry and the glam-fest in Rome. Betty Draper has been beautiful since she was a girl, and men have wanted to kiss her for as long as she can remember.

Perhaps some beautiful women would have gone through live repelling the constant advances. Betty has not - she welcomes them, though they mean nothing to her. So while the kiss with Henry was a huge buildup for him, for Betty it was just another in a long series of kisses from men who saw her as the vulnerable, lovelorn woman. Of course, she really isn't vulnerable at all. She has the looks, so she has the power. A modern day Helen of Troy.

I'm sorry, but you cannot be that beautiful, and also have a career as a model, as not be totally self-aware. To me, that was the point the writers were trying to get across this week.

Julia said...

Anonymous at 12:39:

I re-read your comment again. I should have added that Betty and Don's parents would have been very affected by the Depression and WWII. The bad times started in farm country in the mid-20s, then came the crash in 1929 and WWII wasn't over until 1945. That would have been 20 bad years for Dick's farm family. Betty's dad was a banker, but the shakiness of the era would have affected her parents, too.

My mother's family lost their farm and her father had to live in other people's barns doing harvest work to send money to support the family in a strange town. My dad's family lost their car dealership - his father became a chaffeur and his mother sold girdles door to door.

Then came the war - the men went off and the women waited. Most of my parents' friends started families much later in life than they had expected.

So - post-war, they were happy to have a house, a car, clothes for their kids, etc. Anything more was a plus.

The housewives being so unhappy probably started with the generation that didn't remember the Depression and the men gone to war after that.

dez said...

Her employer did something about it because it was in his best interest not to have to find yet another au pair, not because of anything Gudrun felt. He even advised Pete to find a nanny outside the building to have an affair with so Pete wouldn't upset the status quo of his own building. It was pure self-interest.

Good thing Gudrun's last name wasn't Ensslin....

dez said...

Oops, was on the wrong page and answering another post. My apologies, Alan.

christy said...

Another thing to remember about the difference between then and now is that my generation anyway got and continues to get a lot of education and information about sexual violence and how to avoid being a victim of it. We know, from school, from daytime talk shows, from lots of places, that in most circumstances your chances are worse if you submit to an attacker in any way than if you don't. Better to anger him by not letting him in than to risk what might happen if you do let him in, right? But this au pair hasn't had any such education, and she doesn't really know for sure what Pete would or wouldn't do if she said no. We can see from our more objective point of view that sure, if she'd somehow managed to avoid this fate, that Pete probably wouldn't have retaliated, and that even if he did, she'd have a decent chance of talking her employers into believing her side of the story. But we're not teenage immigrants in the 1960s with a rich drunk stranger in our face strongly implying that we don't have the right to say no. All she has to go on is that the first time she said no, he returned drunker and scarier.

Also, again, opening a door is not consent for anything. I understand that can be uncomfortable to contemplate sometimes, but that's just how it is.

Of course Pete has power over her. Pete is an upper class American man. She is a working class teenage immigrant girl. Guys like Pete have power over girls like Gudrun in 2009, let alone 1963. Pete has power over Don and Sterling and Cooper, for crying out loud.

Susan said...

boboyoung, you are correct that Betty knows she's beautiful. All she has ever had her entire life has been her beauty. It is imo her identity. Her beauty got her a glamourous life as a model. Her beauty landed her a husband like Don Draper, who in spite of his philandering (that is a great word; thanks, Miss Farrell) is indeed a catch. Her beauty got the attention of Henry Francis and thus could be used for the good of the Junior League. It is Betty's currency, so to speak. When Connie Hilton told Don he was a lucky man, he was speaking purely of Betty's beauty. He had just met her so he had no idea what else she brought to the table (nothing, actually.) Betty has potential. She is intelligent, she seemed to be doing well at drumming up interest with her Junior League project, she has mastered the art of conversation, there is probably a lot there that she doesn't even know she possesses. Her being beautiful is, in fact, an obstacle to her being anything more than a beauty. (She is also hindered by her upbringing and the times in which she lives, but her beauty is imo the biggest obstacle.)

Your post brought to mind her speech to Sally that you don't kiss boys; they kiss you. Well, of course if you are Betty, the men will kiss you and not the other way around. She was definitely speaking from experience.

I agree that Henry's kiss was very meaningful to him and meant nothing to her. His comment that she looked happy and if he had anything to do with that, it would make him very happy, was telling. Betty is such an unhappy person at her core that the smile she briefly flashed Henry at the meeting did really look like real happiness and it was startling. Arthur Pace at the stable said she was profoundly sad. That describes Peggy to a tee.

Susan said...

Oops! I meant to say it describes Betty (not Peggy) to a tee. My bad.

PanAm53 said...

Julia: I often think that the best diet plan was the fear of weighing in at the OB doctor. I actually wound up weighing less after the birth of baby #1 than pre-pregnancy. With baby #2, I weighed about the same pre-pregnancy and postpartum.

I don't really think that limiting weight gain had any adverse affect on the babies. I hope that this does not offend anyone, but fetuses are the ultimate parasites. They will always win out over the host (mother), and obtain everything they need at the possible expense of the host (mother). I think that so long as the mother does not have conditions such as diabetes, hypertension or any condition that affects the blood flow to the placenta, genetics is what determines the size of the baby. My baby #1 was born at 36.5 weeks and weighed 6# 12 oz., healthy in every way. He is now a 6' 3” very successful 42 year old man. Baby #2 was born at 37.5 weeks, weighing 7# 4 oz. and perfectly healthy. He is now a very talented 5' 10” software engineer.

I, too remember the horrors of twilight sleep that I had with baby #2. This is conscious sedation. You are awake, but have no memory of what took place while you were under it. I had the horrible experience of knowing that I delivered, but not knowing any details for hours after his birth. I didn't know if I had delivered a boy or a girl, and if the baby was healthy. As the hours passed by, with no information, I was sure that something was terribly wrong. Luckily, everything was fine, but I had to wait for the doctor to make rounds to inform me of that.

Baby #1 was a precipitous delivery. I arrived at the hospital fully dilated and crowning. They had me push a couple of times and then knocked me out with ether for the mandatory episiotomy and forceps delivery of a baby that I am certain I would not have had any problem delivering naturally. Totally barbaric!

Unknown said...

After hearing Pete talk of Kinsey's water balloon device, I couldn't help but imagine a ketchup filled balloon flying across SC only to splat against the office walls and leave a similar pattern as Guy's blood. Wonder if that imagery was intentional.

PanAm53 said...

A point that I would like to make is that although childbirth was quite often a very unpleasant experience in the 60s, the newborn period at home was usually very pleasant.

Sleep deprivation was rare. Bottle feeding was the norm. During the five day hospital stay, night feedings were done by the nurses while the mothers got their beauty sleep. There were some colicky babies then as there are now, but generally bottle fed babies would sleep for at least four hours between feedings. Also, cereal was introduced at one month, which increased the baby's satisfaction even more.

Making formula and sterilizing bottles was a simple once a day job, not even as much work as washing the dishes.

I was never sleep deprived in the newborn period. Actually, I remember being somewhat bored after the birth of baby #1. We lived in a very tiny apartment which took very little time to clean. I would sit around, wishing the baby would wake up so that I could feed and care for him. Believe me, I am no Wonder Woman, but I even cooked recipes from Julia Child's cookbook during that time. An added bonus was that I was able to enjoy the recipes, and not have to be worried and depressed about having to lose baby weight.

Yes, as Matt Weiner shows us every week, the times were indeed different.

Anonymous said...

Don tips the hotel porter USD 2.00 and Betty reprimands him by saying that's what the porter earns in a week yet in season 1 Bert advises Don to take 1.99 out of his bonus check to buy Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. Did a weeks wages in Rome really equate to the cost of a book in NYC ? Such inequality

MTA said...

I think having everyone lighting Betty's cigarettes for her was a reference to sex. We see it shortly after she was seemingly won the town hall debate and been kissed by Henry. We also see it twice in Rome, where she is hit on by two Italians and has a healthy dose of intimacy with her husband. It sort of alludes to the old cliche of cigarettes after sex. It's funny that a woman who portrays herself as so pure and righteous is only happy as a sex object (which goes back to her modeling days)

Lois Strikes Back said...

I love how all of your intelligent comments help me understand this show even more the next day.

Case in point, I was really irked with Betty for being so mean to Don after he gave her the Roman charm. It didn't occur to me until after reading your posts, that perhaps she was angry Don hadn't acknowledged her feelings of being trapped and underutilized. She really did seem happy to be putting in the work for the Junior League.

But then again, as we've seen, there WERE working women at the time. Betty CHOSE this life for herself, so I don't feel that sorry for her...even if she would have rocked as an international supermodel.

Lois Strikes Back said...

Another thought: hardly anyone on this show gets to be likable for very long! Really, only Joan.

I was talking to my husband about this week's episode (he doesn't watch Mad Men) when he finally stopped me and said,"Why do you watch a show about so many bad people?". Ha!

Of course, it wouldn't be any fun if they were all good people, would it?

Sarah D Bunting said...

perhaps she was angry Don hadn't acknowledged her feelings of being trapped and underutilized

I don't recall her expressing this to him, and I'm not sure we can blame a man of this era for not intuiting it. Don probably assumes that because he provides for her in a handsome style, she ought to be content; I don't think even he includes his philanderment under that umbrella, but as far as her day-to-day life, he likely assumes that this is what she wants, and he is providing it -- at some cost to his own freedoms and satisfactions.

I'm not saying I agree; I'm saying that for Don not to understand that Betty chafes under the harness of her restrictive station in life is pretty predictable for this era. There are still some men (and women, in fact) now who don't understand that, while there's nothing WRONG with that situation, not everyone wants it.

I sympathize with Betty's feelings, but given that SHE probably wouldn't expect Don to intuit her dissatisfaction either, I found her expression of them passive-aggressive and bratty.

Unknown said...

Worst episode of the three seasons. Nothing new established about the characters that we didn't know before. The contrast of Don and Pete's lives were way too on the nose. An entire episode without Peggy is a terrible idea. Hardly any time spent at Sterling-Cooper. The big theme (August is when NYC is empty) for the episode coudln't have been much more one-dimensional. The deceit thing has been done to death in this show, as has foreign locales standing in for plot/dialogue/character. Unlike the Palm Springs interlude (which was at least phantasmagorical, although an overrated part of last season) the Rome moments are entirely predictable. OK, we get it, Betty's being wasted as a suburban mommy. But a little April Wheeler nuance, anyone? Not in this episode. Also, the rape comments are kneejerk and reactionary. This is not even remotely comparable to Joan's situation. It is clearly implied that the au pair submits/succumbs by choice and Pete doesn't take her by force. Rape is pretty narrowly defined and is done a disservice when anything without a standard contract written up beforehand is lumped into it, thereby depriving of the word of the vehement ugliness it should only be used to reference.

Sean H

Jessamyn said...

An earlier poster said that Betty "has all the power" because of her beauty and is a "modern-day Helen of Troy." But of course, Helen had no power, and her beauty brought her nothing that she wanted. She was literally relegated to the status of prize, awarded by the gods to another mortal man, wrenched away from her first husband and carried off to a foreign land. How is that power?

Of course Betty does understand and use her beauty, because it's one of the few tools she was taught to use. And yes, she chose the life she's in, but her mother made it pretty clear that's where she was expected to be. Nowadays the peer pressure is to make one's own decisions, but in those days rocking the social boat was incredibly ostracizing. Watch some of those movies made up through the '60s about women breaking out in some way - building a business, loving a man of lower social register, divorcing, etc. - and most of the film is about how their friends all shun them and their families excommunicate them. It's not so simple to make a self-empowering decision if it means leaving virtually everyone and everything you know.

Double for Don - if he leaves Betty, he will barely get to see his children. No half-time parenting in those days - he'd be lucky to get a weekend every once in a while. And she'd be considered well within her rights to, say, up and move with the children back to Pennsylvania.

As to Gudrun and Pete - I don't want to retread the rape/not rape question, just to say that as someone who was a naive teenage girl herself once, I can't agree with the posters who think there was some sort of unspoken contract from the beginning. Maybe Pete thought there was, but it's entirely believable that Gudrun didn't. In my experience, men often give young women way too much credit for understanding where men think situations are going.

Oh, and finally: I'm sorry, but if Trudy couldn't fit into the neighbor's dress, I don't see how Gudrun possibly could have. A nice girl, but sylph-like? Er, no.

brainylagirl said...

@Jessamyn: Joan said, "I don't see Trudie in a 10; this dress must run small." That means, she thinks Trudie is smaller than a 10 (she looks like a 4). Gudrun looked like she'd fill out a 10. The point being, Joan knew from the get-go it wasn't Trudie's dress.

Mauimom said...

Another anon answered that a brain tumor could cause one to smell burning rubber, which is true.

I think that was a joke -- a reference to everyone's speculation before Gene's death that his heightened sense of smell was indicative of a stroke.

In other words, the author was just playing.

Anonymous said...

More office. Less home life.

I used to work in advertising. I enjoy the MM characters, but SC's client-agency relationships and the creative process are definitely half the fun of the show for me.

I stopped watching "30 Something" because there wasn't enough advertising and too much soap opera. I hope we're not headed in the same direction with MM.

And I've had enough of coercive
60s "sex."

PanAm53 said...

Hi. I'm with Jessamyn. I thought that Joan was saying that the dress looked like it was too small for Trudy. I mentioned to my husband that Trudy was much smaller than the more zaftig German Gudrun. My husband just replied that Joan was just inferring that the dress belonged to Pete's girlfriend, not to Trudy. Really, the details are unimportant.

That said, a size 10 in the early sixties was much smaller than a size 10 of today. Trudy does look like a size 2 or 4 of today; while Gudrun looks like a size 10 of today. In the sixties, I think that Trudy would have worn an 8 or 10, and Gudrun a 14. The sizes ran much smaller then.

Susan said...

Sarah, good point that Don would not think his wife is underutilized. She has "everything." He told her they would take other trips, thinking that would help. Even Betty herself imo doesn't know why she hates her life. We look at her through the lens of the 21st century where women have many more choices.

Cat said...

Elizabeth made a mention of Ken throwing a balloon filled with ketchup as possible foreshadowing for blood. Others have mentioned that there seems to be a subtle theme of blood throughout the season. The dress in this episode had a dark red stain on it, and an earlier poster pointed out that Betty's nightgown had a red stain on it. Add in the sounds of sirens in the episode and the overall tension of the episodes I think something big is going to happen. What do you think am I reading to deeply into these things?

mmjoan said...

Betty desperately needs something other than male attention to make her feel valued. I agree with the posters who feel her kiss with Henry was more meaningful to him than her. It wouldn't surprise me if she was more attracted to Henry's words--that he would do anything for someone he cares about and would love to make her happy. I imagine Betty gets a slight thrill every time a man gives her that attention but quickly realizes it doesn't fix her fundamental problems. A happy, healthy, valued Betty will lead to a better marriage to Don and better parenting to their kids. If only Don would come clean to Betty about his past and trust her with his secrets and insecurities. If she handled it well, I believe it would change their relationship dramatically and for the better.
Some random thoughts about the episode (there are a lot!!):
1. Trudy has really grown on me. I admire how she handled Pete's "apology" for his indiscretion. She is strong and smart, and Pete is lucky to have her as a wife. I hope she gets to be a mother someday but pray it isn't his and Peggy's baby they adopt.
2. When Connie calls Don to have breakfast, Don makes Betty happy by getting out of it. But then he says he has to get ready to go and you can see in her face that she doesn't want to get back to their regular routine again. She instead drops her towel to join him in the shower. LOVE it. When Betty feels confident, she can get anything she wants. Her time in Rome showed just how much she has to offer.
3. LOVED the look between Betty and Don when they came home and were greeted by Carla. I think Don said the time away was short but sweet and the smile they exchanged was just so intimate. They shared a similar look the next day when he lit her cigarette.
4. When Carla brought up Sally's behavior, she was mostly talking to Betty, not Don. And when she specifically mentioned Sally's temper, Don got the hell out of there. Any thoughts as to why?
5. Someone else mentioned the scene with Betty and Sally in front of the mirror. She never spoke to Sally, much less looked at her, but she did touch her shoulder before she left the room which is something, I guess.
6. How great does Don look every time he walks in the house in his suit and hat? I love seeing him that way.
7. I agree with many others that the actress who plays Sally is phenomenal for her age. But does the way she speaks annoy anyone else?
8. Francine gave Betty several long stares regarding Henry. Does she really think Betty would use her charms on Henry in such an obvious way? If she only knew how little Betty has to do for men to fall in love with her.
9. I think Betty turned on Don at the end of the episode for many reasons but wonder if her conversation with Francine was the final straw. Francine's repeated "Carlton and I must get away again for our marriage to be good" message coupled with her encouraging Betty to see Henry again were the last things Betty needed to hear. Don had no idea he would do and say the wrong things after that. He really was trying but Betty was in a completely different place at that point. I wish they could communicate more effectively.
10. I loved how quick Bobby was to accept Sally's apology. He was too cute.
11. When Joan realized it was Pete who asked for her at the store, she couldn't even make direct eye contact at first. You could see her composing herself and when she was ready, boy did she handle him perfectly. Give us more Joan!!

Scott J. said...

Ugh, it just occurred to me why Trudy would put up with Pete. She gets to be a mother... to Pete.

[shudder]

Julia said...

Another difference from our times:

A wife/mother working would spend money on clothes and childcare which was not tax deductible for wages much lower than the husband/father. Her income could be just enough to bump them up to the next tax bracket - known then as the "Doll House effect", presumably after Ibsen. Result could be a net loss of spendible income. That's why many mothers stayed home.

When women were paid better this was not so much a problem. But everybody got used to the woman's income and now we wouldn't think of not having the double income.

BUT somebody has to watch the kids - so there will always be lower-paid women doing the work that all women used to do.

Anonymous said...

How much coaching did they have to do for January Jones to speak Italian so well (or seem to)?

Jesamyn said...

Dress sizes were extremely small then compared to now. Vanity sizing has really changed things. I'm looking at one of my mother's dress patterns from right about this time (and before pattern sizes got divorced from off-the-rack sizes). 10 is the smallest size on the package, and it's bust 31", waist 24", hip 33". That's falling off the bottom of a size 2 in modern rack sizes - nearly a size 0. Betty probably wears a 10, but Trudy? http://fashionrenegade.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/mad-man-trudy-campbell.jpg

Gudrun? http://content.starzoogle.com/users/ninarausch/images/content/April_Showers_Still.jpg (the actress in another project).

Maura said...

mmjoan said: Trudy has really grown on me. I admire how she handled Pete's "apology" for his indiscretion. She is strong and smart, and Pete is lucky to have her as a wife. I hope she gets to be a mother someday but pray it isn't his and Peggy's baby they adopt.

The baby was already adopted, so I don't think that could happen. I hope not, anyway. That really would be afternoon soap opera material.

I can appreciate Trudy's ability to figure out how to keep her marriage intact. I imagine divorce is not an option for her, so she's going to do whatever is required to stay married. But I'm no Trudy fan. I've always thought she was a silly, simpering fool. Someone upthread (I think it was here. I talk about this show on too many sites) called her horrible. I don't entirely disagree.

mmjoan also said: I imagine Betty gets a slight thrill every time a man gives her that attention but quickly realizes it doesn't fix her fundamental problems.

I do agree with this, and to me, that's a sign that Betty isn't as childish as many people think she is. This is a new development, and an indication that she's taking baby steps to becoming an adult. And it's baby steps that she needs. It's possible for Betty to have A Housewife's Moment of Truth, but it's more likely that she'll experience an evolution, not a "Click" moment. (Not that I think you were saying that, mmjoan. Just following my own thoughts.)

Susan said...

In a previous episode (I believe it was when Pete and Trudy learned she was the one with the fertility problem) Pete angrily told Trudy that she should keep her sadness to herself. She is definitely doing this, putting on the hsppy face and pushing down her own pain. Of all the husbands in the show, Pete best embodies the "I am your husband and you will do as I say." He asked her once, "Do I have to put my foot down?" "Do your parents think I say no to everything?" Once during an argument she left the room and he told her to comr back in the room and she did, told her to sit down and she did, and she apologized (unnecessarily.) It seems this season she is falling into line. I also believe she truly loves Pete. The last episode of Season 2 Pete told Peggy he wished he had picked her, but Pete cannot deal with anything but a compliant woman which Peggy would not be. Trudy is perfect for Pete in a dysfunctional way.

mmjoan said...

I'm with you, Maura. You're right about Betty's evolution rather than immediate insight. And I definitely felt the same way about Trudy that you did until this season. I can't quite put my finger on why, but she impresses me now. Perhaps it's because I could never have the patience to deal with a husband like Pete. If anyone can make that marriage work, she can. Scott J. wrote earlier that Trudy tolerates Pete because she gets to be a mother to him and shuddered at the thought. I'm with Scott J. on that, too. Yuck. I have high hopes he will grow up for good after this episode, though.
God, this show, Alan's blog, and everyone's comments are fantastic!

mmjoan said...

So true, Imamarilyn. Trudy does love Pete and is falling in line this season. And you're right, Pete and Peggy would not work together, especially not after her experience with Duck. I think Peggy has set her sights on older, much more powerful men, and not to get ahead at work. She is just more attracted to actual men than to boys like Pete.

Jed said...

I have to agree about the last few comments about Pete and trudy, she must really love him or she feels so damaged about not being able to bear children that she doesn't think anyone else will have her, because unlike Betty wioth the 3 kids she has no reason not to walk away although as far as she knows this is Pete's first indescretion (sexually that is). There is a whole host of Pete flaws which have been pointed out except pimping her out for Boys Life. I also don't put Pete down as a rapist but am tired of reading about who is and who isn't at this point. Don't let him in.

Also the recent poster seems like to be on spot in terms of the final Don/Betty scene, he is in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like Peggy the episode before. I has thought she was upset about the charm the coleseum which she didn't get to see. Don commented he only see it from the taxi, but my wife said it had more to do with Francine (?sp) and her comment about Lake George, i.e. they hadn't been back since they went after the birth of their child that is it was a one time thing and she's now back to everyday life again.

If the Drapers break up it won't be Don leaving .... he might be kicked out but he won't be the one to call it quits. I don't think he would do that to his family given his childhood.

Just my $0.02

Anonymous said...

Any chance Don called Rachel on Joan's behalf for the department store job?

Alan Sepinwall said...

Any chance Don called Rachel on Joan's behalf for the department store job?

Since Joan isn't working at Menken's, I doubt it.

Maura said...

mmjoan: And I definitely felt the same way about Trudy that you did until this season. I can't quite put my finger on why, but she impresses me now. Perhaps it's because I could never have the patience to deal with a husband like Pete.

I would have considered taking a frying pan to his head by now, but I hope I would have had the sense not to marry him at all.

I can see how you look at Trudy in a more positive light than I do, and I should have more sympathy for her. (If I can sympathize with and defend Betty, I should be able to do the same for Trudy.) As imamarilyn pointed out, Pete's been methodically manipulating and bullying Trudy since they found out they couldn't have kids, and now she's under his thumb. I really believe she didn't know what she was getting into when she married him.

But I can't warm up to her. One of the things that bugs me about her is the affected way she speaks. She sounds like she's imitating her idea of a society wife, which is what she desperately wants to be. There's a reason she glommed on to Betty and treated Jennifer like a pariah at Roger's party in "My Old Kentucky Home". She's a social climber, and while I might agree that she loves Pete, I think she loves him because she decided it's as easy to love a (supposedly) wealthy man as it is to love a poor one. His ancestry is as important to her as anything. I doubt she would have given him a second look if he weren't from a *good* family.

And yet, I love it when she's on the show.

Susan said...

Joan had connections at a department store already. In the episode where she and Greg were entertaining his people from work (My Old Kentucky Home), she recommended someone at a department store. Kind of like tell them Joan sent you. I haven't recorded any Season 3 episodes so I can't go back and get details, just going by memory.

Jed, I agree with you about Don not leaving his kids. I have never felt he would do that. Still feel that way. I was shocked when he tried to get Rachel to run away with him and she said something about him leaving his kids, how could he do that, and he said he would support them financially. It just didn't feel right to me. You said Trudy knows about Pete and the au pair. I don't think she does because I think he handled it in such a way that led her to believe he just really, really misses her when she's gone. I am not challenging your belief she knows that. I'm just interested if you or other posters who agree with you can elaborate for me. Thanks.

Susan said...

Maura, yes, Trudy wants to be a society wife. She also comes from money herself (maybe not as much or as old as Pete.) Her parents helped her and Pete get their apartment (after Pete's dad refused.) Pete had the Clearasil account because Trudy's dad gave it to him, and then when he thought Pete was not treating Trudy right, he pulled it. I think one of the things Trudy loves about Pete is he reminds her of her father and she is definitely a daddy's girl. When Pete was upset about sharing the head of accounts job with Ken, she told him he was ambitious just like her father.

There are certainly aspects of Trudy to dislike, but I can say that about every character on Mad Men. One of the things I love about the show is we so clearly get to see each character's faults and strengths. There are no one-dimensional heroes or villains in this show.

Anonymous said...

The title “souviner”, relating to a reminder from a trip or prior occurrence, relates back a little to the first episode of the season. Don is himself a “souviner” from his fathers trip to a whore and a “souviner” his mother resented and did not let him forget. We have seen the reaction to Peggy from Don about her baby to “Move Forward”…which suggests Don put (or tried to put) his bad childhood behind him to move forward with his life.

In this episode I think Don is remarkably nice to Betty. He supports her volunteer work. He goes out with the kids to catch lightning bugs. He mentions that Betty can come to Rome…she says no, fine. She decides to come after all, fine. She does not want to go to breakfast with Connie, fine. When Betty mentions the line about if you don’t have power you delay he gets this look on his face that I took to be, “what guy laid that line on her?” But he lets that comment go without turning it into a fight. Only at the end do you see his reaction to her pettiness about the gift for her (when it was her choice to come on the trip, the episode is very clear it was her choice to come—and not a case of him forcing her to come to look good for his business acquaintances or as a story in future for his job as she says), whereas most of the episode has been from her perspective. There were scenes with Betty, with Betty and Don together but not much of just Don. I think the shocking turn from this season could be Don and Betty separating, and Don initiating the separation. This would go completely against what we have seen from Don, but he has counseled “moving forward” to others and if he has a realization that things are broken in his relationship with Betty and that to “move forward” for him means leaving Betty he might just leave her. The reaction Betty has to the souviner is an example of Betty not moving forward herself and could be the first strike against Betty with Don.

Susan said...

Anonymous, I agree that Don was especially nice to Betty in this episode. But I don't see him ever initiating a separation or divorce. In an earlier post, Jed said he wouldn't do that to his kids and I agree.

Scott J. said...

Imamarilyn, I do think when Trudy sees the shame on Pete's face and asks what happened, and Pete can't bring himself to utter a word in response, she understands that he's cheated on her. His silence is confession enough. That's why she storms off.

Commie Bastard said...

It is alternately very tragic and rather hilarious perusing comments by Trilby and other rape apologists, whose words contain so much internalized misogyny to the point where they have to admonish us "young people" to maintain a stiff upper lip about rape culture, and that men of this generation are "wimps."

It's not like there isn't enough of propagation of patriarchy around these days to make those who identify with sexism of yore to feel not completely out of touch.

Susan said...

Scott, thanks for your interpretation of that moment with Trudy and Pete.

Rob Biesenbach said...

Just finally re-watched the episode and I have to agree. Trudy seemed to know exactly what was going on. She teared up and stormed out of the room. I have no idea WHY she knows. It doesn't seem Pete has a history (known to her) of infidelity. Maybe she just knows him too, too well.

And Pete redeemed himself a little in my eyes. He was more than contrite. He seemed truly remorseful. I think what it made it worse was that Trudy was so generous in reassuring him that he shouldn't feel bad around children and that she's accepted the fact that he won't adopt.

But yeah, he's still a little boy that can't be left alone.

Also on re-watching ... wow, Betty. She really hates her life there. She pretty much said that exactly in fact. How's Don supposed to feel about that?

Maura said...

Also on re-watching ... wow, Betty. She really hates her life there. She pretty much said that exactly in fact. How's Don supposed to feel about that?

I'm sure it shocked him. But at least Betty expressed an emotion about something. She's been holding that in for so long I think she didn't even know she hated her life. Now she knows. That's the souvenir she brought back from Rome.

imamarilyn, I believe Trudy knows that Pete cheated on her. She obviously doesn't want to talk about it, so maybe she'll never know the details. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. It would crush her, but it would also let her know what kind of man her husband is.

Now all you Trudy lovers have me feeling some sympathy for her. Life is *so* complicated.

Julia said...

WOW Here's an article in the UK about how "the pill" has changed women's tastes in men in the past 40 years. It fits right in with the ongoing discussion about male aggressiveness in this thread and others. Check it out.

I tried 3 times and the automatic wachdog rejected my including the link for the article.

It's linked on Drudge or go to Dailymail dot com and look for article by David Derbyshire.

Taking the pill for past 40 years 'has put women off masculine men'

Here's the heart of the article:

The links between the Pill and sexual preferences are highlighted in a paper in the journal Trends in Ecology and Evolution.
Scientists have long known that a woman's taste in men changes over her menstrual cycle.

During the few days each month when women are fertile - around the time of ovulation - they tend to prefer masculine features and men who are more assertive.

On days when women are not fertile, their tastes swing towards more feminine, boyish faces and more caring personalities, researchers have shown.
However, if women are taking the Pill they no longer have fertile days.
That means they no longer experience the hormonal changes that make them more attracted to masculine men and those with dissimilar genetic make-up.

An increasing number of studies suggest that the Pill is likely to have an impact on human mating decisions and subsequent reproduction.


The study also showed that men tend to be more atracted to women who are ovulating.

Susan said...

Maura, thanks for your take on the scene with Pete and Trudy.

It was interesting that Betty said after Francine left, "I hate our friends." Francine assumed the Drapers were too busy having sex to go sightseeing. But when Don and Betty spent Valentine's Day in a hotel room in Season 2, Betty told Francine they didn't have time to watch TV, the inference being they were too busy having sex. That wasn't true then because they attempted to have sex and Don couldn't do it. And she did watch at least part of the White House special with Jacqueline Kennedy. Funny how she intentionally led Francine that way before, and now she's annoyed with Francine for assuming that again. Or is because Francine said something to Don about it?

Susan said...

Julia, thanks for recommending that article. Very interesting! The Pill had more influence than I imagined.

Anonymous said...

Having just returned from Rome this week, I found it ironic that Weiner included a line in the show about how the dollar was welcome when Don tipped in US dollars. Then, it was very welcome, but in the past few years most of the banks in Italy won't even change dollars to euros because they don't want dollars because they are so weak. I love such timely attention to small details.

I agree with how erotic the love scene was without nudity - it reminded me of how hot the scene with Grace Kelly and Cary Grant was in "To Catch A Thief" - the scene where she invites Cary Grant to touch the diamond necklace around her neck and then the camera pans away to fireworks...corny, yes, but hot too.

I too think the smell was the pollution. In those days the air was thick with diesel and the stench permeated everything - especially in the heat of August.

Henry said...

Just for the scene where Don and Betty play the two Roman lotharios. That's proof that Mad Men is the best show on television right now.

Don Draper is a player and his wife is friggin' hot!

Anonymous said...

regarding the UK article about the pill:

the assumptions that birth control pills are responsible for female selection of males should be taken with an entire pillar of salt.

were things like female employment taken into consideration? access to education? maybe females are attracted to males who are supportive of equal rights when they have educations and some financial independence.

in addition, in the LONG view of evolution, females formerly would ovulate, get pregnant at some point, give birth and nurse a child for at least 1 and more likely 2 years (our closest relatives, chimpanzees, as well as females in our recent past did the same thing.)

Breast feeding suppresses ovulation. Children naturally wean by age 2 or so and ovulation resumes, at which point a female would or could get pregnant, give birth, and nurse for another one or two years.

Therefore, women's long-term evolutionary cycles would be more likely to reflect women on birth control rather than women who don't breast feed.

In which case, women would, again, be more likely to favor intelligence over brute stupidity -- based upon ovulation cycles -- except for a few times every two years or so.

I guess the cro-magnon he-man women haters club will have to find another excuse for not being interesting to intelligent females because that one doesn't stand the slightest scrutiny.

Chip said...

I didn't really buy Don's new attitude as just a side effect of a getaway, he seemed to be really making an effort to me and I think deep down he does love Betty. Imo she was a real bitch at the end.

Julia said...

Anonymous:

Not sure I buy the whole argument, either but 2 things are wrong about your counter-argument:

- pre-pill people had ways of avoiding pregnancy without messing with hormones so they were still ovulating

- the vast majority of women in the early 1960s decided on who they wanted to date and marry before starting on the pill or getting pregnant so they were ovulating. Remember it was not so easy to find a doctor who would prescribe the pill for a single woman back then.

On the other hand, your argument would work for married women of the early 60s and maybe that's why they became disatisfied with the guy they had chosen before messing with their hormones.

You need to read the whole article to see how they structured the study to see if other explanations should have been considered.

Susan said...

Julia, I enjoyed reading the article you cited and thought it was good food for thought. Peggy's visit to the doctor to get birth control pills was a good example of how difficult it was for a single woman to get them. Her doctor had to patronize her and lecture her and threaten to take her off them. He very reluctantly wrote the prescription.

Anonymous' comment that a woman doesn't ovulate while nursing was interesting. I don't know the science behind it. But I did have a neighbor years ago with two sons eleven months apart. She nursed the first baby and thought she couldn't get pregnant. Surprise!

Chip, I agree Don is making a genuine effort with Betty. He has been ever since he returned home in the last episode of Season 2. He is a kind person, in spite of his many flaws. Betty thinks this as well. She told Dr. Wayne that Don was kind. Betty is not a kind person, in spite of the fact that she does make efforts to be nice from time to time.

jenae said...

Alan, you think Betty was showing grounded realism in rebuffing Don once back in Terrytown (is their town actually called Terrytown? shudder) but those I was watching with all felt she was being pretty childish in that moment, and having painfully learned (still trying to learn) the lesson that in marriage you get more flies with honey, I would say she made a mistake.

Maybe she could have said, "This is lovely Don, but I'm worried that now that we're back home, things will be the same, and not very good."

Maybe I sound like a Pollyanna-ish therapist's wife (and diligent therapy client, which I also am) for saying that: "She should say something honest and constructive!" We tend to think that these characters are stuck in their mores. Joan, we think, could never had gone to Roger and said "I'm great at that job and I want it." The characters are all, we tend to imagine, too much of their era and culture.

But there have always been individuals who break the mold. That's how progress happens. So I look forward to those moments when the characters break out of their culture and make the moves that will help them emancipate themselves, like when Peggy confessed, not to father what's-his-name as he was pressuring her to, but to Pete. She could pray and smile to herself once she'd broken the silence and said what she needed to say to him. (Weiner and the writer of that episode translated that oblique speech of Peggy's to mean, roughly: "I could have loved you, but you broke my heart.")

—What a great scene that was!!! Pete at his most likeable, declaring love for her, but he's several days late and more than a dollar short, emotionally. He was cruel to her and blew it with her and she's been paying the price. It shows his lack of maturity that instead of running after her and saying "Wait! I want to understand what the hell you're telling me. I wasn't kidding when i said i love you." Instead of that he withdraws into petulant anger. (I'll always pity Pete 'cause of that father he had, though. What a pr*ck!)

As to Betty being stuck with her marriage and life, in his beautiful letter Don said "I know you won't be alone for long," if she leaves him, and, y'know, he's right. Drop dead gorgeous, a well -bred "Uptown girl" as one of my housemates put it--she speaks Italian, fluently? Did the Italian guys think she was from there?--she is a huge catch and she could have almost any man she wanted. As divorce is becoming more acceptable, she could leave Don for someone else. She could have husband 2 lined up b-4 she even breaks it off with Don. That may have crossed her mind with the political guy.

Was it on this blog that i read that january jones says betty loves don but don only loves the idea of betty? Be that as it may, the actress is playing Betty as being in love with Don. (I'm kinda surprised to learn that; I could have said it goes the other way, or both are mostly in love with the idea of the other.)

--Maybe it's that thwarted love for Don that keeps her stuck and miserable. I know that feeling, when you feel stuck in your marriage, but you know you genuinely don't want anyone else, yet you don't know how to fix things, how to make the relationship conform to your ideals and meet more of your needs, so you feel very stuck and often pissed off. (You can feel trapped by love.) Maybe that's where Betty is coming from, but the way she expressed it was bound to make Don feel that a positive move on his part got him nothing but a glass of cold water in the face.

jenae said...

To the Anonymous who spoke of marriage being wonderful but hard, i see now that you had already posted from the same perspective as me and i hadn't seen so didn't acknowledge that we agree.(!)

And imamarilyn, i enjoyed checking out last week's postings to see that you weighed in on Peggy's standing in that world, where women were trained to emphasize their looks. :)

Back to La dolce vita: It kinda blew my mind that Betty was willing to be seen by Mr. Hilton in that vampy get-up, but my husband thought it's all part of her sophistication: she knows you can get away with a dress (and hair, make-up, jewelry) like that, even while meeting an American business man, if you're in Italy.

What was that Antonioni movie where this woman gets followed around by a huge crowd of leering men? Seems that such things in Italy are actually possible; women have to be a little cautious walking on the sidewalk without a man. (I'm 1/2 Italian, so I think I can risk such generalizations, though sadly I've never been there.)

It was great to see Don and Betty get sexy and even play elaborate roles in Rome. There's a similar scene in the french movie "Happily Ever After" (good movie) and i just saw a short film on "image makers" i think it was on public TV, where these two apparent strangers have sex in a changing room at some big box store, then join their waiting nanny and kids in the mini-van.

Married hotness! (Though I don't know if I'd have the temerity to go that far) sounds fun!

P.S. For the record, i agree with Artemisia, some variety of rape is what Pete did to the au pair.

jenae said...

seeing now the good comments i missed, from monica, lee, and camera work as story telling tool insights from maya. too much to ever catch it all, seems

Susan said...

Jenae, you are right that Betty knew she could get away with that sexy look in Italy. (She spent some time there when she was a model.) I can't see her looking like that back in New York. And Mr. Hilton approved. He told Don he was an "indecently" lucky man. Interesting choice of words. Connie acts like a good old boy with his "by golly" talk, but he is sophisticated as well. I had an elderly aunt who used to say "a lady is always appropriate." Betty knows what is appropriate in each situation she's in.

Joan told Peggy that she never wanted a man's job like Peggy. Yes, she could have asked for the job (I assume you're referring to the script reading she did for Harry.) But she didn't want it, imo. Joan has plenty of moxie and would have no problem asking for it if she wanted it. She would also have no problem getting along in a man's world, either. IIRC, in that conversation she also told Peggy that she needed to learn the language, and if she wanted to be taken seriously she should stop dressing like a little girl. I don't think Joan is constrained by the times the way Betty is.

Peggy is definitely the breaker of molds. She is always asking for something. It worked with Roger when she asked for the office. It didn't with Don when she asked to be on the Hilton account.

Peggy wants it. Joan does not. At least up until this point, Joan does not.

Julia said...

What was that Antonioni movie where this woman gets followed around by a huge crowd of leering men? Seems that such things in Italy are actually possible; women have to be a little cautious walking on the sidewalk without a man

The summer of 1964 I was 19 and in Rome on my own for a week. A number of times, particularly if there were no other people around, litlle groups of young men on street corners would hoot and snap fingers and follow me for while saying something like "chickie, chickie, chickie". I was told by the lady at the front desk of the hotel to never look them in the eye and to walk briskly and ignore them. It worked. But once on a crowded bus, I got a fanny pat or more like a massage.

I was in Rome again a few years ago with my very good-looking 30 yr old daughter-in-law. She got looks but nothing else, probably because my 3 adult sons were also part of the group.

jenae said...

Absolutely (scott, maura, imamarilyn)--Trudy knows that Pete cheated, and he's telling her the only safeguard against him cheating again is for her to never leave him be alone.

(Did she make the connection that this mood of guilt came over him after he sees the au pair??)

jenae said...

hi imamarilyn--

re; joan and the job--judging both from the crestfallen look on her face when harry gave the job to that callow guy (and also ‘cause i listened to the commentary, so I heard I think it was the writer and director's take)--what i saw and what they said was that joan was rather devastated to have the job taken away.

Maybe once she felt the enjoyment of having that particular job (it had a feminine angle, soap operas and all)--maybe once she tried it, she realized how much she liked the creativity and appreciation of the clients. the creators had a lot to say about how telling it was that her desire and ability were totally overlooked

(seriously hurting my back here; must walk away from PC...)

Anonymous said...

the data that I refer to about breast feeding having THE SAME EFFECT as birth control pills is based upon 1000s of years of actual life on this planet.

You can google "natural family planning breastfeeding" and find tons of articles about this history.

so, I say the study has nothing to say about females because, in fact, for 1000s and hundreds of thousands of years women would have lived most of their fertile years without ovulating.

THAT is the point.

That would also mean that for 1000s and hundreds of thousands of years women would have shown a preference for men who were NOT cro-magnon, if this study has any relevance, which I doubt.

their children's genetics would reflect this preference as well in respect to phenotypes - over a range of characteristics - not one thing or another. again, based upon real history if it is applied to findings from this study of non-ovulating preference.

Women, as genetic studies have also shown, have not been monogamous throughout thousands of years of history as well. (A non-science and friendly explanation of this history is available via Helen Fisher's Anatomy of Love.) So, women who did not just mate with their spouses would, since they were, for most of their adult lives, not ovulating, still have had a preference for males who were not cro-magnon, if the study has any validity, which I question.

That's based upon the data provided from the b.c. study - that women who are not ovulating show a preference for one type of man vs another.

of course, these same women may have chosen to have sex with a cro-magnon during a window when they were not ovulating, but wouldn't show a preference over the course of their lives. This would mean that women might favor a wham bam thank you Sam for a one night stand but not for a long-term relationship - again, based upon the idea that hormonal changes created by birth control change preference. Because, again, for thousands and thousands of years most women spent most of their fertile years ovulating only a few times over the course of decades because ovulation was naturally suppressed by breast feeding.

Yes, there were other ways to avoid pregnancy but, unless a woman was in a wealthy family, she breast fed her children for most of the history of all women in this world and this continues into the present, esp. in less developed nations.

If you are talking about female preference and trying to extrapolate from one b.c. study, you cannot simply look at the last 70 years or something like that to then draw conclusions that women would, of course, choose the incredible hulk over Brad Pitt and b.c. has changed that.

that's what makes it junky, not worthwhile.

in addition, the Daily Mail is a dishrag, not a reputable paper, and anything you get from them should be questioned. It's about as reputable as that paper that used to have pictures of Bat Boy all the time. Entertaining, but bullshit.

Julia said...

Anonymous:

Nothing you said makes any impact on how virgins not on the pill would act. Once their choice of husband was made, it was pretty difficult to get out of the marriage.

jenae said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jenae said...

garter *belt*

:)

jenae said...

Julia, thanks for the real-life account of women on the streets in Rome :)

I'd say maybe things are different now, but then I think "Berlusconi" (sp?).

jenae said...

Anon, I think it's "wham, bam, thank you mame."

(I tried to follow about Cro-magnon and ovulating, etc., but not sure I get it. Breast feeding ='s not ovulating ='s desire for more reliable men?? So for most of human hist women usually craved reliable men?)

(I've never breast fed anyone--and not on any b.c. hormones--but I like reliable men :)

Domesticated aggression, sublimated into good lovemaking skills, is best ;)

P.S. It's only 1 AM here in CA. It'd be odd indeed to to be posting at 4 in the morning.

jenae said...

Anon said:

"When Betty mentions the line about if you don’t have power you delay (Don) gets this look on his face that I took to be, 'what guy laid that line on her?'"

Exactly.

nite all

jenae said...

Ok, i think i get the Brit study of effects of pill controversy; sorry anon, i got your pt. backwards.

"...(now) goodnight indeed."

Anonymous said...

julia - you make untold assumptions. this study isn't about marriage. it's about preference: sexual interest.

sexual choice, not a marital contract.

and as genetic studies have demonstrated, marriage certainly didn't stop women from having sex with other men after they were married.

marriage in various cultures may be arranged - you cannot assume a female chose her husband unless you limit your view to the recent past.

but if you want to get your "scientific" info from a rag that is on par with The National Enquirer, knock yourself out.

Dick Cheney is also a robot. I saw the picture so I know it's true.

Alan Sepinwall said...

(Is mentioning the preview a spoiler?? Hope not. Okay to delete this if it is.)

Jenae, go read the commenting rules, which I link to at the end of every one of these reviews. No talking about the previews, ever.

Alan Sepinwall said...

And while this isn't technically in the commenting rules, the discussion of The Pill and breast-feeding has now wandered so far afield of anything having to do with "Mad Men" that I'm going to ask you all to get it back on topic or take the discussion elsewhere, please.

Julia said...

Anonymous:

I'm not pushing the results of that study. I was a science major and realize one study doesn't prove much.

It was just interesting because of the astounded comments here about the apparently accepted aggressiveness of men in the time period of MadMen (early 1960s) as compared to our times.

That's it. No all-encompassing theory of women's choosing of mates throughout time was implied. Just an interesting aside.

I don't get the reference to Dick Cheney.

Julia said...

Alan:

I posted before I saw your comment.

Subject is dropped.

Unknown said...

Gudrun's dress was the same as Henry's Stay Order from the Governor! Except Betty didn't put out, so no mo stay!

And I believe psychiatry used to be considered as a dumping ground for doctors who couldn't cut it. So it makes perfect sense for Greg the Rabbit.

jenae said...

Alan: Got it.

jenae said...

Revisiting a deleted topic without any spoilers, just observations:

I'm wondering why Alan in his review assumes that the politician Henry Francis is gone for good?

I saw an uneasy, guilty look on Betty's face as she was lying beside Don after the kiss with Francis; I think she went to Rome to steer away from temptation and (perhaps affirm her devotion to Don, if we follow January's idea that Betty really loves Don).

I think a woman in Betty's position could resolve to steer away from temptation, "That's over," then go right back to it, i.e. right back to Mr. Francis.

Francis doesn't appeal to me but maybe to Betty he represents someone more from her world than Don, someone who might be more devoted to her, more reliable perhaps?

He's probably the kind of guy her dad had in mind for her, the kind he was referring to when he said "If only you had any idea what was possible," dismissing Don as "this joker."

(Though Don's becoming a man of influence, he's still an outsider at heart; seems Betty's dad sensed this and didn't trust him. As someone here commented, he never forgot--or forgave--the gaps in Don's story.)

Similar dynamic: I once had a friend who got dumped by his beautiful fiance. A week before she dumped him, she wished him happy birthday with a banner and cards and gifts all professing her love. I was perplexed 'til someone explained that she was probably over-compensating: she didn't want to admit she was out of love, so she was exaggerating her love, trying to convince herself.

I'm not sure what Betty wants from Francis, but any resolutions she makes to stay away from him are probably, like the trip to Rome itself, guilt inspired attempts to stay committed to her marriage, even as her discontent is so intense it's boiling over the minute she gets back home.

(At the same time, I still think the Rome trip went well and it would have been wise to build on that foundation, but maybe Betty's unhappiness is just too deep, and she doesn't understand her own feelings, so she can't act wisely.)

She's really confused and, given Don's behavior ("No one" on the phone as Betty's going into labor, vibes with the teacher, won't sign a 3 yr contract, all the past infidelities, etc.) and the whole trapped housewife syndrome and all the super impressive skills and attributes that, as Alan points out, are wasted in her suburbs life, she has reason to be confused.

Lighter side: It *was* fun to watch them connect in Rome, and how hot did Betty look in those stockings and--not corset i think but something called a merry widow, like a corset but it goes lower and has a built in garter built. (I wore one to Rocky Horror as a teen.)

Gorgeous, sexy, erotic(!)

jenae said...

Ramana wrote: "And I believe psychiatry used to be considered as a dumping ground for doctors who couldn't cut it."

Yup.

jenae said...

(Not sure if I should post this on the rules page or here...)

Alan: I just re-read word-for-word commenting rules # 3 and 5. (I don't have any trouble avoiding patrisan politics or being mean, I don't think. Mentioning Berlusconi was just a joke, right?)

I understand now about spoilers.

I'm pretty sure my own imagination tells me that what Betty will do next re: her latest flirtation is very up in the air. Her self-report very unreliable. And yes the previews are spoiler-y, but they can be mis-leads as well.

Re: Betty and Francis, a housemate pointed out that Betty only had sex out of marriage while she and Don were seperated. (!) I never caught that detail. He thinks she's toying with a good-for-the-goose deal with Francis.

I heard the creators say the zipless f*ck in the bar was her way of seeing whether what Don has done so many times means anything. Never occured to me you might say she wasn't cheating, on a technicality.

Regarding rule #5, I totally agree; trouble is I genuinely can't skim. I try but my brain can't do it.

(It happens to me all the time that I sit down to write four sentences, and end up writing 12 paragraphs, so if length is an annoyance...)

If it becomes apparent that I can't conform well enough to the rules, I'll just take an indefinite hiatus.

Great discussion, board, blog.

P.S. I agree Cee, it is a shame January didn't win an Emmy.

Scazza said...

Hopefully this comment doesn't break the rules but...

"Betty for once is the more grounded and realistic one. She knows their marriage is still fundamentally broken... and that her life will always be unsatisfying, but it's the marriage, and the life, she's stuck with. " Is that what marriage is about? Perfection? I didn't think this episode was about marriage; I think it's common for couples to have an easier time on vacation, when they have time for each other. I found her to be unrealistic if she won't hope and try and put any effort to maintain the happiness that she found. In Rome is where she was real, and they were real and maybe so was Don. So it's her fault if she'd rather turn away from that.

The part about Betty's talents & smarts going to waste, and that Don doesn't actually love her, I didn't get that from this episode. What was more prominent was the common and powerful tug between daily life of errands, chores, getting things done, dealing with boring hassles, vs. vacations, adventure, being free. I think making this about Don is actually a bit sexist, or maybe the life vs vacation is a common part of the female experience today. Women have a lot of choices to make, work, family, adventure, smarts, beauty that I think we can become oppressed by the "what if"s. It was very emotional for me to watch her disappointment at coming home, trying to hold on to the experience in terms of the lack of freedom that we all have by being adults in America. Don has a lot of freedom, not just as a man but as the man he made himself to be, and I think Betty's jealousy of that is not about her sex, it's the same as everyone else who knows Don. I think it has nothing to do with lack of love.

If only Betty knew how much money they actually had and that she could afford to globe-trot or do whatever she needed to be free. For someone they've shown to be so smart, she has a lot of lack of knowledge about her own situation.

gypsy howell said...

I don't think Betty has much of a grasp about their finances, plus, we've had hints that Don is not dedicating all his income to the family (not that they're wanting for anything). He's supporting Anna in some way, and he's still stashing cash in his desk drawer for his "big getaway" should he need it.

Either way, money is not the root of Betty's problem. They both need much more honesty in their marriage if they have any hope of being happy with each other (or with themselves) - Don -- obviously about his past, and Betty about what her real hopes and dreams are, if she can figure them out.

Looking forward to tonight's episode, but I sort of dread it- it doesn't seem like happiness is on the horizon anytime soon.

jenae said...

gypsy howell said...

"...he's still stashing cash in his desk drawer for his "big getaway" should he need it."

Some of you are definitely more observant than me. I never caught that. Figures though.

"Either way, money is not the root of Betty's problem. They both need much more honesty in their marriage if they have any hope of being happy with each other."

I agree.

Scazza is also right that vacation time ='s easier happiness, and, yes, I suppose it's true that Betty doesn't have the freedoms Don has, though he manages to be pretty tortured despite his freedoms. Running around with women (or hitch-hikers) is Don's release. Maybe being a shrew is the only release Betty has. (All too common in marriage even today, perhaps.)

Hoagie Wykoff once wrote, in the mid 60's or early 70's, that men hold the cards in relationships and this drives women crazy. I can still see that that is often true.

The guy who won't commit or the husband who's too busy to really listen, these things still leave woman feeling powerless, though we don't have the gross imbalances of Mad Men's era.

Eyeball Wit said...

Anyone reminded of the Italian business trip taken by Tony's crew? Christopher didn't leave the hotel room either, albeit for different reasons.

Poor Betty?
Poor Carla!

FWIW, January Jones look was exotic--so much so that I literally didn't recognize her at first, and in Alan's screen cap (which I saw before assumed that she was one of Don's conquests.

That said, I think she's plenty hot in her everyday Ossining duds.

Laurel said...

I'm absurdly late to this series, but just had to add in response to Halli: whether there is or isn't a Hermes product placement contract, I loved the imagery of the scarves and the suffocation the female characters feel, from Peggy's gift last episode, to Betty's tight spot with the politician and Trudy's headache with Pete, not to mention Joan's state of affairs. What a breathtaking, glamorous noose it is!

Anonymous said...

I'm a bit tired of series and movies resorting to the usual stereotypes about Italy and I thought MM would avoid that, but the scene with the two men was quite funny. The Roman calling the man from Naples a yob! People here generally look down on those who are from further South than them. :-)

Caterina

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