All TV: When writers and characters go missing

Today's column is a mostly strike-related mailbag -- including the news that the writers and companies will be going back to the negotiating table a week from today -- plus people wondering why "Chuck" got rid of Harry Tang and "The Unit" got rid of Hector. Click here to read the full post

Dexter: Bloody business

Spoilers for “Dexter” coming up just as soon as I eat some toast...

“Stay away from Rita. Stay away from me."
"Or what?"
"Or you will see the monster."

Damn. But the big question is, which monster will Lila (and we) see?

There was the monster we met in season one, the neat and tidy one, as Dexter described himself at the time. The monster slavishly followed The Code of Harry, was meticulous about his targets and his methods, a danger to those who “deserved” it (c.f. William Munny) and a seeming prince to those who didn’t.

That monster appears to have died along with its brother, the Ice Truck Killer. The monster we met at the start of this year was a scared, clumsy creature, who tried to be the neat and tidy monster but never quite pulled it off.

After Dexter went to NA and fell under Lila’s sway, the monster was replaced by a seemingly smarter, more benign one, one who didn’t feel compelled to kill, who could channel his aggression and talents in more positive ways.

That was, of course, a mirage. New Dexter was, in some ways, an even bigger monster, selfish, arrogant and amoral. The stunt last week where he temporarily framed the innocent stepfather in order to snare Doakes was a complete repudiation of The Code, the first step down a slippery slope towards Dexter hurting whomever was necessary, whenever it was convenient to him. That monster got cocky and inadvertently put Lundy on his trail.

And now that Dexter’s seen Lila for who she truly is? What kind of monster is he now? Based on his apparent willingness to kill Lila for being an inconvenience to him (and, in fairness, a potential threat to Rita), the return of the familiar urge to kill but also the panic and sloppiness with which he left Santos Jimenez’s body alone in his Everglades shack (which may or may not come back to bite him), it feels like the current incarnation of Dexter combines all the monsters of the past. He’s bloodthirsty and amoral, calculated at times and clumsy at others. This Dexter is very bad news -- for Lila and for everyone else around him.

We’re nearing the home stretch of season two. I’ve occasionally complained about the silliness of these stories where Dexter narrowly evades discovery by Lundy or the other cops, because of course we know Dexter won’t get caught, because otherwise there’s no show. But there’s a different kind of suspense at work here. We know Dexter will stay free, but which Dexter will he be?

Besides Dexter’s ongoing identity crisis (which even he doesn’t appreciate the depths of, because he’s not on the outside looking in as we are), episode eight had some other vedddy interesting things going on.

We all assumed after last week that Dexter’s unmasking and subsequent head butt in front of Doakes would backfire – that, unfettered by the rule of law and more aware than ever of what Dexter really is, Doakes would become relentless in pursuit. For a little while here, that seemed not to be the case. Doakes seemed at peace when he first met with Laguerta, and it wasn’t until Lundy mentioned the faulty blood evidence in the Rodrigo case that Doakes finally decided to go after Dexter.

So here’s the question: is there any way Doakes isn’t, even briefly, wrongfully accused of being the Butcher? He has a history of obsessive, violent behavior and that mind-warping Special Forces background. He walked out on Lundy in mid-interview, and now may be in possession of Dexter’s damning blood smear collection. (Assuming he doesn’t do something smart like put it back where he found it and place an anonymous 911 call.) And, of course, he knows too much about Dexter to be allowed to remain free, if not alive. (It’s like how, in the early days of “Smallville,” the Kryptonite Freak of the Weaks always died so that the writers could keep Clark’s powers a secret.)

Doakes’ only hope is that Lundy is as smart as he’s seemed up until now. Dexter made the right move in falling on his sword and blaming the Rodrigo screw-up on overwork and distraction, but he was still producing Albert Brooks in “Broadcast News” levels of flop sweat during that interview, and while Doakes has a history of violence, he doesn’t really fit the profile of a meticulous, twisted killer like the Butcher. Once again, we have knowledge that the characters don't, and it could be completely reasonable that Lundy would just interpret Dexter as being nervous for having screwed up a case through inattention. But I hope this storyline doesn't get resolved by the writers selling out Lundy as not nearly as clever as he's seemed to this point.

As it is, I'm having a hard time scrubbing my brain of the scene where Lundy spanked Deb and Deb got off on it. I'm not saying a healthy sexual relationship can't have a little bit of rough-housing, but we've been beat over the head with the idea that Lundy is a Harry surrogate for Deb. Lundy even proceeds the smack with a comment about their age difference that's really a veiled father-daughter suggestion. The guy is a profiler whose speciality (other than picking the right music) is figuring out how people think and why they do what they do. Even if his intentions with Deb are entirely pure, I don't think it's a coincidence that he's playing into her Elektra complex.

Some other thoughts:

• The final scene of last week's episode implied that Dexter had made the connection between Lila smashing the landlord's lightbulb to get her own fixed and Lila burning her apartment to get him back, and yet here when he first contemplates the possibility, he thinks, "I can't imagine why." Maybe Michael C. Hall played that earlier scene a little too well, you know?
• Another familiar face from cop shows past, with Bruce Weitz (perp-biting Mick Belker from "Hill Street Blues") as Lenny Asher, Rodrigo's pack rat neighbor.
• I'm glad the writers haven't felt compelled to delve into Angel's personal life again this year, because I like him much better when I'm not being force-fed boring material unrelated to Dexter or Deb. A nice moment where he produces the case file and Deb realizes he's been busting balls the entire time.
• "That's how Hitler walked." Sad as I am to lose C.S. Lee from "Chuck," Masuka's awfully funny by himself.
• Also funny: Deb's reaction to Dexter accusing her of sleeping her way to the top, followed by her comparison of Lila to a vampire.

What did everybody else think? Predictions on where all of this is going now? Click here to read the full post

FNL: I don't know Julie, instead

Spoilers for “Friday Night Lights” coming up just as soon as I find a store that sells tearaway pants...

So here’s a conundrum: I’ve been complaining about the Landry storyline for weeks, and yet last night’s episode – about 95% manslaughter angst-free – was maybe my least favorite of the season. If it hadn’t been for the Smash subplot, which was repetitive but thematically on point, it might have been completely forgettable.

As soon as Carlotta the Magical Latina nurse showed up for lots of wacky misunderstandings about sleeping quarters, laundry and porno mags, I assumed she and Saracen would be entangled romantically. It took longer than I had feared, mainly because Carlotta and Grandma Saracen disappeared for the last batch of episodes, but now we’re here, in the midst of an episode packed with age-inappropriate relationships. Tim moves out after catching Billy and his ex-girlfriend Jackie the MILF in casa Riggins, then flirts with Tyra’s older sister Mindy to the point of being threatened by Tyra. Julie, having broken up with slimy older guy The Swede, now falls under the spell of the school’s dreamy, deceptively young-looking new newspaper advisor, Noah Barnett (played by John From Cincinnati himself, Austin Nichols). And, of course, Carlotta gives Saracen some lessons in dirty dancing, and, after the initial shock, doesn’t seem that unhappy to have been smooched by QB1.

I’m baffled for all sorts of reasons. First, why are the writers so fascinated by stories where the high school kids date older people? I suppose some kind of thematic point could be made about how Dillon is such a dead-end town that the kids are desperate to get with more mature partners outside the high school gene pool. But the only stories where that really applied came last year, with Tyra’s forgettable dalliance with the traveling salesman (back when the writers had no idea what to do with Tyra) and Street’s hook-up with Tattoo Girl. These other stories just feel phony and larded with cheese.

Second, as my evil doppleganger Fienberg points out in his own take on “Pantherama,” the show has adopted the familiar, unfortunate double-standard about May-September (or, at least, May-July) romances: younger woman + older guy = creepy, but younger guy + older woman = potentially hot. Complicating matters is the fact that we’re not clear on how old some of the older partners are supposed to be, and using the actors’ ages doesn’t help. Aimee Teegarden is nine years younger than Austin Nichols, but she’s also seven years younger than Zach Gilford.

Speaking of age confusion, it turns out that Lyla is still enrolled at Dillon High, even though, as I vaguely recall, she was planning to go to college with Street. (Did Jason have no friends in his own class?) This provides an excuse for the writers to remember that Lyla and Tyra kinda sorta reached an understanding in the first season finale, but mainly it’s an excuse for a lighter story where Tyra flirts with a lot of boys and teaches them how to shake their booties.

I don’t object to lighter stories on principle – some of my favorite “FNL” moments are the funnier ones, like Landry and Matt’s various shopping trips – but this one wound up being another illustration of the wider-ranging folly of the Landry/rapist plot.

Again, that story barely got mentioned here, other than a scene where Landry told Tyra about the car fire and she largely blew him off. (“Landry, I don’t know what you want me to say.”) But it still colors how I then look at Tyra and Landry when they’re participating in unrelated plots. I don’t think there’s a believability problem with tough, pragmatic Tyra being untroubled by both the killing itself (which she was never bothered by) or even by the way Landry’s tearing himself up about it, but it makes me like her a lot less. I shouldn’t be watching a comic relief storyline and focusing on how callous one of its main characters seems to be, but that’s what happens when you introduce a subject as big and scarring as death and a cover-up into a show that’s not about that.

I’m glad to see that the writers remembered that Smash – and, especially, Mama Smash – existed, and that both were placed in a storyline that was germane to the series’ main subject matter. The shadiness of college recruiting and the unrealistic dreams of athletes who assume they’re destined to turn pro aren’t exactly new subjects, but they’re still relevant, and they apply well to Smash. As Mama Smash, Liz Mikel is one of the show’s best recurring players, and in scenes like the poster-ripping or her confrontation with Coach, the show felt grounded in itself in a way that it didn’t for most of the episode.

(I do think, though, that the 2-9 black college with no athletic scholarships was an odd choice for Mama to hang her hat on. There happen to be schools with equally strong football and academic programs that could offer Smash a full ride. Also, while the Whitmore recruiter mentioned academic scholarships, aren’t those merit-based in some way? Otherwise, what’s the difference between the school having athletic scholarships or just giving academic ones to football stars like Smash?)

I’m not sure how I feel about the Santiago plot yet. First, it still seems odd that a defending state champ football factory school would be spending so much time on an inexperienced walk-on (and at a position where they already have another inexperienced walk-on in Landry). Second, the wounded puppy Santiago of the last couple of episodes doesn’t seem quite the same character who first challenged Lyla about her beliefs when he was still in juvie. I think there’s potential in the idea of shameless booster Buddy doing what he thinks is a favor to the team and finding himself seriously involved in this damaged kid’s life, so I’ll wait and see.

Some other thoughts on “Pantherama”:

• In the midst of all the Matt/Carlotta silliness, it’s hard not to notice how much more lucid and focused Grandma has become since Carlotta’s arrival. If this story is heading in a place where the relationship – or, more likely, it’s awkward end and Carlotta’s departure – causes Grandma to backslide, then it might be slightly redeemed.
• Connie Britton is almost as good at the sarcastic faux-charm as Kyle Chandler, as she displayed in her strong-arming of Tyra and Lyla into helping with Pantherama. ("Oh, honey, you are not using Jesus Christ our lord as an excuse to get out of helping your counselor, are you?")
• Was I hallucinating, or was that a “Thundercats” logo sticker on the inside of Matt’s locker? Or did the show introduce a new Panthers logo modeled on the “Thundercats” logo and I only just noticed it?
• “Don’t whisper-yell at me.” Ha!
• Speaking of seeing things, did I catch the long-forgotten lesbian mayor of Dillon in the Pantherama crowd? If that was her, she’s clearly still in the closet, judging by her overenthusiastic response to the striptease.
• I have no idea where they’re going with Tim’s new roommate, but despite the obvious attempts to make him look like a complete sleaze, any guy who names his pet ferrets after the sheriff from “Dukes of Hazzard” can’t be all bad, can he?

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

30 Rock: Can we have our money now?

Was the above just a dig at product placement, or was it a coded message from the WGA? You decide. "30 Rock" spoilers coming right up...

Whatever episode followed "Greenzo" was almost certainly going to suffer in comparison, but "Somebody to Love" did as a good a job as one could in the shadow of that genius. The Jack storyline was the only one that was consistently brilliant, but it was enough to carry the rest.

Nearly every word out of Alec Baldwin's mouth last night was gold: "After all, your hair is your head suit," "I assure you, John McCain is very real," "You must have grabbed it by acciden after our night of doing it," Jack's description of CC making love like an ugly girl, etc. The best, though, and the one that was most quintessentially Jack, was his response to CC's mention of Hilary and universal health care: "God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things." Jack and CC's absurd blind loyalty to their respective political ideologies was marvelous to behold, though it makes me think back to Al Gore's line last week about Jack being a former liberal; will we one day get a flashback (possibly starring Billy Baldwin) about how and why Jack switched teams, or was that meant to be a throwaway joke, never to be referred to again?

Not that it should be a surprise to anyone who laughed with her on "The Sopranos" (I have one word, and only one word: "Marco"), but Edie Falco was very light on her feet and played well off Baldwin. (The "Tennessee sorority girl" line was a particular highlight.) I look forward to more CC -- and, if possible, more snippets of her Lifetime movie with Kristen Wiig.

The rest of the episode was more uneven. I liked Liz's evidence of her non-racism -- "Remember, I asked that black guy if he had seen 'Sideways'" -- and the eventual reveal that Fred Armisen and his brother were making an "Amazing Race," audition tape, but it felt like a lot of effort to get to that punchline. (The story did, however, work as something of a thematic parallel to Jack's, showing that liberals can be just as hypocritical and tempted by the other side as Jack was being.) And, especially compared to the amazing, "This earth is ruined!" payoff from the end of "Greenzo," the Northrax/maple syrup conclusion to the episode just fizzled.

(On the plus side, is The Rerun Dance ever not funny? Though Tracy doing it wasn't as brilliant as Bill Haverchuck doing it.)

And Kenneth's quest to buy Jack new pants felt both predictable (did anyone not assume that Jack had a dozen identical pairs?) and too brief. If it hadn't been the distant third story of the episode, maybe it could have built up some momentum, with the pranks progressing from merely gross to genuinely dangerous, but there wasn't time for that.

But I can't complain much about any episode with this many Sheinhardt Wig Company references, can I?

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

The Office: That's what the stenographer said

Spoilers for the last original episode of "The Office" for a long time (sigh) coming up just as soon as I smack some talk...

In case you weren't aware, "The Deposition" was the last episode completed before production had to shut down because Steve Carell and the other writer-actors refused to cross the WGA picket line. Depending on how long the strike lasts, this could wind up being the (abbreviated) fourth season finale, and while it's not fair to compare it to planned finales (and all-time "Office" classics) "Casino Night" and "The Job," "The Deposition" wasn't a terrible note to go out on for a while, whether it's a few months or into next season.

Like "Money," the Michael bankruptcy episode, this one was sadder and more bittersweet than the average episode, and like last week's "Survivor Man," it started off with Michael making a fool of himself at great length, but ended with him having a rare moment of lucidity. (Or did it? We'll get back to that.)

No amount of coaching by Jan could prevent Michael from being Michael, which even Jan knew, based on her decision to bring Michael's journal to the deposition. I loved the "That's what she said" sequence, maybe even more than the tag of "Survivor Man." It's clear that the writing staff started to challenge each other on creative ways to use Michael's most frequent, tired joke, and they've done a brilliant job in back to back weeks.

I also loved Michael seeing everybody reading his journal in the cafeteria, and especially Toby opening himself up to him and Michael's juvenile reaction. For a second there, I actually thought they'd have a moment of detente because Michael (himself raised in a single-parent household) could appreciate and relate to Toby opening himself up. But for once I preferred a moment of silliness to one of emotional truth; Michael's hatred of Toby is so irrational and overwhelming that, even in this circumstance, his only response is to knock Toby's tray to the floor. (I would feel sorry for Toby, who's like the Charlie Brown of this series, except he got his emotional revenge later when they read the passage about Michael's man-crush on Ryan.)

So here's the question of the week: did Michael side with D-M over Jan for the reasons stated in his final talking head, or because he heard the words "nice guy" in the middle of David Wallace's otherwise completely unflattering deposition? I'm not sure which interpretation I prefer -- Michael once again being wiser than he usually seems, or Michael once again having the maturity of an 8-year-old and desperately wanting people to be his friend -- but I think either (or maybe both) could apply. And the final conversation about getting a cheap dinner -- after Michael had just torpedoed Jan's chance to win $4 million -- was a marvel of sad comic truth. Michael just ruined her lawsuit, but dammit if Jan isn't stuck with (and maybe on) the guy.

The ping-pong subplot was lightweight but amusing, and the first PB&J story in weeks that wasn't in some way about them noticing each other's faults. I loved how, immediately after Kelly explained the difference between trash talk and smack talk and that she exclusively practiced smack talk, the next montage was filled with her talking trash, not smack. And I loved how, when Jim confessed that he was going to play Daryl, Dwight's mind immediately chose a different unflattering interpretation of what just happened ("No, no, no, he works here, dumbass!") rather than the obvious truth. It was a good but not over the top example of Dwight's inability to read social cues.

What did everybody else think? And what are you going to do with your Thursdays at 9 until the strike ends? Click here to read the full post

Pushing Daisies: How much is that doggie with the widows?

Brief spoilers for "Pushing Daisies" coming up just as soon as I pick up a flea and tick collar...

Oh, my sweet lord, the twee-ness! Too much twee-ness!

I really like "Pushing Daisies" overall, and even enjoyed a number of things in this episod -- Emerson's dissertation on Gangsta Love, the freaky "Chuck suit" sex dream, the gang finally figuring out an efficient way to get answers from a corpse and it still getting too complicated -- but good lord was this one precious. When we got to the sequence about all of the bizarre new breeds that Joel McHale was creating, I think I may have gone into sugar shock for a few minutes. Not even expanding Emerson's role and letting him flirt with Wife #3 (or was it 2?) was enough to overcome the cutesiness. Until now, the series has pulled off that tart but sweet balance, but this one was an illustration of how easily things can get too cute for their own good.

At the same time, I'm glad they finally had Ned and Chuck confront the limitations of their relationship -- and had Ned and Olive confront her crush on him -- even though it's not something that can really be solved anytime soon. What's interesting and occasionally frustrating about Ned is what a hangdog, passive character he is, always getting pulled along through life by other people like Emerson and Chuck. You don't usually see that in the protagonist of an ongoing series, which makes it refreshing, but I certainly hope that part of the long-range plan of the series involves Ned growing up (or manning up, if you prefer) and taking control of his own life and this weird gift/curse that he has. Lee Pace is charming, but I think the dumbsquizzled expression is going to get old after a while.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Life: Half a man, twice the life

Spoilers for "Life" coming up just as soon as I stare at my hat collection...

As I wrote a few weeks ago, "Life" has been growing on me, and last night's episode was just a strong hour of dramatic television. There are way, way too many cop shows right now, and it's almost impossible for a procedural story to stand out amidst that clutter, but the story of Mister Farthingale (or Misters Farthing and Gale, if you prefer) got my attention and kept it. It wasn't just background noise while Damian Lewis did his quirky Zen/fruit thing; it was intrinsically tied to his thing. While another cop show could have done this story, they wouldn't have done it in quite this way. If, in a hypothetical world where the strike wasn't taking place and "Life" wasn't almost certainly destined to be canceled once it ends, I were the showrunner hiring prospective writers, I'd hand them a copy of this episode and say, "This is what our show is."

I think the early episodes suffered from the writers' need to establish not just the premise, but the ways in which Charlie Crews is an unusual detective. So we got more fruit, more Zen koans, more of Reese and Lt. Calamity Jane butting heads with him over his unorthodox approach, etc. They laid all that stuff on with a trowel, and while it may have been necessary, the show has been a lot more interesting now that the writers and the other characters treat Charlie's quirks as a fact of life. They're not in awe of him, but they're also not trying to get him booted off the force every five seconds. (The scene where the lieutenant reminded Reese of their conversation from the pilot did a respectable job of reframing it as a legitimate concern and not just an eeeeevil conspiracy.) So when a weird case like this comes along that plays so well into the way Charlie's mind works, the bickering and eye-rolling comes at a minimum. And without those distractions, it was easier to focus on things like the lovely but disturbing image of the bisected Farthingale, or the constant parallel conversations with the two wives, or the other interesting things going on in this case.

I also think the arc stuff is getting better. In the main, I'm bored stiff with grand conspiracy stories, and the Wall of Blame (as Fienberg calls it) is getting awfully crowded. But this one feels like a genuine mystery with a genuine plan -- helped by the fact that, unlike a "Prison Break," the series can continue even after the conspiracy story wraps up -- so even though I don't expect to get a solution before these 13 episodes are over, the steps along the way have been intriguing. And making Brooke Langton's character a sympathetic DA finally gives her a useful role to play on the show instead of the woman who just pines after Charlie.

Speaking of Fienberg, he wrote a Save "Life" post over at his blog, in which he looks back to the Russsian mob episode as another template the show might use in a different Nielsen world:

I think "Life" has the potential to be that sort of stunt casting vehicle because what actor wouldn't want to go head-to-head with Lewis, whose character uses intellectual processes to solve his crime, rather than straight forward clue-accumulation detective work. If the show were to continue, I would recommend using the season's fifth episode, "The Fallen Woman," as a template for potential adversaries. Even if his Russian accent occasionally vanished, Garrett Dillahunt's performance as Roman, a mobbed up version of Satan, was so instantly and consistently chilling that I've already suggested to Sepinwall that Dillahunt should be brought back every other week as a recurring villain, the show's Big Bad, if you will.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Reaper: Mind-cheeeeeeater...

Spoilers for "Reaper" coming up just as soon as I reshelve my "X-Files" DVDs...

A guy I know who works in a network's scheduling department has this theory -- backed by some persuasive examples -- that a show can start with soft ratings and build, but if a show is doing well and starts to lose viewers, they won't come back. The more I think about last night's "Reaper," the more I wonder if the same concept can't also be applied to the creative side of things. If I think a show starts out weakly but gets better over time (like, say, "Life," which has a really strong episode tonight), I'm apt to be kinder towards it than a show that I liked until it dipped, even if the show tries to get better moving forward.

The latest "Reaper" did a number of things I've been asking/hoping for, including more of Gladys the DMV Demon (though I think her fun sexy time with Sock would have been a lot funnier if it hadn't been a dream), some breaks from the formula (Sam goes soul-hunting on his own, the soul plays second fiddle to the cop) and the Devil seeming genuinely dangerous. But to quote the most insightful, articulate cultural critic of our day, I wasn't feeling it, dawg.

Part of the problem was that other flaws remained in place, like the relationship hamster wheel that Sam and Andi have been stuck on for no particular reason, or the soul again having no personality (though the tattoo gimmick -- lifted from an old Green Lantern villain -- was one of the more visually interesting powers to date).

Mostly, though, I feel like "Reaper" caught lightning in a bottle with that pilot and has been struggling to trap some more ever since. Some episodes are good, some are bad ("Charged"), and some are mediocre but have Curtis Armstrong. Ray Wise alone is probably enough to keep me going for the rest of the season, but barring a string of four or five consecutive episodes of "Leon" quality, I think the magic's gone for good.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

The Unit: Man down

Spoilers for "The Unit" coming up just as soon as I shine my boots...

There are episodes of "The Unit" -- last week's, for instance -- where the wives' storyline feels particularly shoehorned in, as if someone at CBS told Ryan and Mamet that they would lose female viewers if the wives were absent for a week. Last night's episode was something different, in that the usage of the wives was absolutely appropriate, but the action storyline (Jonas' one-man mission) seemed obligatory.

Ryan and Mamet waited until the third season to kill off a regular because they wanted the death to have meaning for the viewers (though the death would have had far more meaning if it hadn't been one of the two sidekicks), and so I was expecting "Play 16" to dwell entirely on how everyone handled that death. I suppose an argument could be made that a solo suicide mission is exactly how Jonas Blaine would respond to the death of one of his men, but every time we cut to the MidEast scenes, I wished we were back in Col. Ryan's office, or with Mac at the coroner's, Grey's hospital room, or even with Molly, Kim and Tiffy as they planned the funeral.

Still, there were many affecting moments, with the big throat-lump moment coming at the funeral when Col. Ryan called out the names of the Unit members one by one until he got to Hector's. I'm sure that's a real ritual, and it was far more moving than I think any flowery eulogy might have been. Plus, these are men who don't do flowery. I loved that Bob refused to tell the reporter anything about Hector beyond his fondness for ice in his beer; to the reporter, that felt like nothing, where to Bob that was probably giving up more info than he wanted. Knowledge of who and what Hector was, even small details like that, is something private to the men who served with him and the women who knew him, and Bob found a way to protect that while still getting what he wanted out of the reporter.

One question for you all: the screener I watched was a rough cut that didn't have main titles. After the show went to all that trouble to create that goofy new opening credits sequence with the five guys walking towards us in slick suits (probably because someone in CBS research found that the military angle was a turn-off to some viewers and thought new credits could fool them), did they redo them for this episode, or was Hector still walking with the others?

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Sepinwall on TV: 'Quarterlife' could come full circle from Web to TV

Today's column takes a look at Quarterlife, the HerskoZwick TV-to-web (and maybe back-to-TV) drama:

"Why do we blog?" asks Dylan, the heroine of "Quarterlife," a new online drama from "thirtysomething" creators Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick. "We blog to exist, therefore we... we are idiots."

Why do Herskovitz and Zwick blog? They blog to keep making their kind of show, therefore they... they are visionaries? Maybe?

"Quarterlife," about six friends and neighbors struggling to make sense of their 20s, was originally developed as a pilot (then called "1/4life") for ABC, where team HerskoZwick had previously produced not only "thirtysomething," but "My So-Called Life," "Relativity" and "Once and Again." The deal eventually fell through due to the famous creative differences, and even a few years ago, that would have been that.

But HerskoZwick weren't done with the idea yet, and there was this thing called the Internet (in case you haven't heard, it's a series of tubes) that was always hungry for new content. So "1/4life" has become "Quarterlife," a twice-weekly serial with its own Web site that's half devoted to the show - complete with the eight-minute episodes themselves, fictional blogs for the show's characters, real blogs for Herskovitz and Zwick, behind the scenes minutiae, etc. - and half to social networking. (It can get confusing whether you're making friends with another human being or a character, though I may just have trouble deciphering all the icons.)

To read the full thing, click here. Click here to read the full post

House: Pretty/ugly

"House" spoilers coming up just as soon as I put on a necktie...

Yes, yes, yes, yesssssss!!!!

Freaked out too soon on the Michael Michele front. Sorry 'bout that. Turns out she was supposed to be unimpressive medically, and was hired entirely for her looks -- and given how meta this entire episode was (complete with a joke about how vomiting blood would have been a cool act-out, not to mention the documentary interviewer having the same name as Fox's head of reality programming), perhaps a commentary on the actress' entire career?

While House's increasing panic at his hot babe blind spot led to some amusing moments -- I especially liked him freezing with fear as he asked Foreman for confirmation on the skleroderma diagnosis -- it didn't really fit the character. Michael Michele's pretty, sure, but she's not vastly prettier than either Jennifer Morrison or Olivia Wilde, and House has never been shown in the past to be too dazzled by Cameron or Thirteen's beauty to do his job. It was an easy joke, albeit a funny one, that came at the expense of character (and was, I suppose, some kind of parallel commentary to the story of the deformed patient).

As for the episode as a whole, it's hard for me to comment, as my wife the hospital administrator spent virtually the entire hour interrupting with "Oh my god, that would never happen!" It's hard to get into the flow when you have to keep hitting the instant replay button on the DVR remote while saying, "For the love of God, it's just a show!" (She gives me the same treatment when we watch movies or TV shows about newspapers or sports and I turn into Ted Mosby: Corrector.) That said, the fake documentary episode is a dramatic cliche that's outlived its usefulness by now, and there weren't any moments where the presence of the cameras forced characters to show new sides of themselves, or even surprising juxtapositions between what the cameras caught and what was actually happening.

This was our spotlight episode on nickname-less Taub (and I'm still waiting for the explanation for why he and Kutner don't have nicknames), and it was interesting to see how easily he slid back and forth between seeming likable (finding a way to let the dad consent to the drug screening, going over House's head when they disagreed on the diagnosis) and totally reprehensible (caving on the dangerous test because he didn't want to look bad on camera, being a serial adulterer). We've now had some kind of look inside the head of every candidate except Thirteen, and that's been part of the point of Thirteen -- plus it looks like she gets another showcase next week. Will House have even cut this bunch down to three before we run out of episodes?

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Journeyman: Take a shower, hippie!

Brief spoilers for "Journeyman" coming up just as soon as I get some change...

On the episodic side of things, "Journeyman" takes a step back from recent episodes, as Dan travels back to the early '70s for a lesson in cliches: a key party, Nixon resigning and hippies gone violent. (Though the Nixon thing did lead to the nice moment where Dan tells Katie he spent his time at the key party talking to Livia and watching TV.) Not since episode two's porno-plane and "INTERNET EROTICA CONVENTION" sign has the show been this unsubtle about Dan's trips back.

On the arc side of things, though, things continue to get interesting with the revelation that Livia's from 1948 and always travels forward in time, not back. I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of how a woman from the '40s managed to credential herself enough to become a lawyer in the far more bureaucratic, record-conscious '80s and '90s, not to mention why she's such a pro about out-of-date currency and the like when it never would have been an issue for her, not to mention why her clothes always look so modern when presumably she's just arrived unexpectedly from her home time the way Dan has, but the larger idea is cool. At least, it would be if the show were going to be around long enough to explain it all, which I doubt it will.

Also, I keep waiting for the Time Travel Gods to offer Dan a solution to his FBI problem, the same way they gave him Dylan McCleen in the first place to help him with his old currency problem. When the camera panned to all the bloody cash on the floor of the liquor store, I assumed that would in some way fix things, but the scene in the present with Jack spending the $20 from evidence would suggest not. (Also, did I completely miss the spot where it was explained how Katie hid the money from the feds and somehow got it into Dan's jacket?)

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Tell Me You Love Me: Love, sex and death

Some brief thoughts on the "Tell Me You Love Me" finale coming right up...

As mentioned ad nauseum by me in the past, I watched all 10 episodes in one short burst in late June, so the longer the actual series has been on, the hazier my recollections have become. I rewatched parts of the finale On Demand the other day just as a refresher, but my insights aren't going to be nearly as sharp as those of you who've been watching it on a regular basis. Taking it couple-to-couple:

Katie & Dave: On the one hand, this story was consistently the strongest part of the show -- at times, the only reason I kept watching -- Ally Walker and Tim DeKay acted the hell out of every scene, and the two of them finally resuming some physical intimacy was an appropriate, um, climax for both their story and this season. On the other, while I like the decision to not have their moment be traditional copulation -- as Cynthia Mort told me when I interviewed her in July, she wanted it to stand out from all the other sex scenes they'd done -- the mutual masturbation pay-off didn't necessarily feel earned to me. I'm not saying the show ever needed to completely articulate all the reasons why Dave lost his libido and why Katie let him, but I also don't see their conflicts and therapy talk in this episode as being significantly different from arguments in earlier episodes that didn't lead them to the bedroom. Also, since they were a functional, happy couple in almost every way except the lack of sex, where does their story go now that the show's been renewed? I'm not saying their marriage will be perfect moving forward, but they won't have nearly as many issues to discuss with Dr. Foster as, say, Caroline and Palek. And speaking of which...

Caroline & Palek: To paraphrase Cartman, I hate them both. I hate them both so very, very much. Caroline's arguably the more horrifying of the two -- her rant about teaching the baby to hate Palek again made me think that the "Lost" producers missed the boat by not casting Sonya Walger as one of The Others -- but they really deserve to be miserable together. At the same time, I feel like a miscarriage is a missed opportunity now that the show is moving forward. I want to see Caroline discover that this thing she's been so obsessed with for so long isn't going to be the answer to all her prayers, isn't going to fill her with joy every minute of every day, and I want to see Palek grapple with the tug of paternity, the fear that he made a mistake by walking out on his wife and unborn kid, whatever. There were moments throughout the season where he seemed on the verge of actually being interested in having a child (the moon bounce, the scene at Radio Shack before the baby started crying), and those feelings no doubt would grow stronger in the face of a living, breathing baby. Having Palek return after a miscarriage will only lead us to retread territory we've been over before.

Jamie & Hugo: I'm sorry, who? Even though Jamie's sex life was the busiest and nakedest of any character on the show, there came a point in the season where it became impossible to watch her scenes without zoning out or grabbing the laptop or mentally trying to list the 12-man roster of the '93 Knicks. I like that Dr. Foster finally seemed to reach that point herself in the post-gas station therapy session, though she had a more legitimate reason to be distracted with the death of her ex-lover. Maybe Jamie's more interesting next year now that Hugo's fully in the picture and they have to deal with the repercussions of rusing to marriage five seconds after getting back together. God, I hope so.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

HIMYM: Shattered glass

Haven't seen last night's "Journeyman" yet, but hope to get to it later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, "How I Met Your Mother" spoilers coming up just as soon as I literally blow my own mind...

In my ongoing "HIMYM vs. Sitcom" analysis of this season, I'd say "Spoiler Alert" fell somewhere in the middle. The notion of the shattered illusions and the revisited flashbacks were very much a "HIMYM" device, but the scene at the end where Marshall stops all the fighting with his big announcement felt like someone on the writing staff had just watched "The One With the Embryos" episode of "Friends." I'm not saying "Friends" invented that conceit or that no other comedy should get to use it, but it was a very traditional sitcom kind of moment.

While the various revelations were funny, particularly all the descriptions of Lily's chewing ("It sounds like cufflinks going up a vacuum cleaner!") and Ted being an annoying corrector (which led to the great Barney and Marshall exchange of "Don't they teach vocabulary in Canada?" "They literally don't!"), I have some logic questions about the shattered illusion concept. As originally introduced, the reason for the illusions was a desire to sleep with someone -- "You're driving the I Want to Have Sex With Her Bus, and it's got a huge blind spot." -- but then it expanded, so that Robin never noticed Lily's chewing, and the guys never noticed Ted's correcting, etc. Usually, when the show introduces an idea like this or Lemon Law or the Crazy/Hot scale, there are some very specific rules laid out about it, which only makes the applications funnier. If they'd mentioned some kind of best friend corollary from the start -- especially with some convoluted but understandable logic of its own -- I wouldn't have spent so much of the episode's second half wondering if Robin's dream kiss with Vacation Robin didn't hint at something deeper, whether Marshall wanted more than bromance with Ted, etc. Not a huge problem, but not up to top standards.

Couple of other thoughts:

• While Ted was annoying with the correcting, at the same time I could relate to his hatred of the pandemic misuse of "literally," which drives me nuts almost as much as the bastardization of "push the edge of the envelope" (which suggests trying to expand the boundaries of something) to "push the envelope" (which suggests sliding an envelope around a table). Hi, my name is Alan, and I'm sometimes a grammar nerd. Anybody have their own linguistic pet peeve?
• Marshall singing his daily routine -- "The Salvation Army does not fight fair.." -- was awesome.
• In the three years later flashforward, Ted was not wearing a ring. Sloppiness, or a suggestion that the writers don't intend for Ted to get married until near the end of the series? (This, of course, assumes that the series will be around for three-plus more years.)
• I have no comment on this, but it's too funny not to reproduce: "Why do you think I call her Chewbacca?" "I assume it's because she's loyal, wears shiny belts and I resemble a young Harrison Ford."

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Heroes: Easy, sparky

"Heroes" spoilers coming up just as soon as I ask Company Bob why his super jail has no surveillance system...

Somebody want to tell me how in any way this season was enhanced by holding this for episode eight? Other than the Adam Monroe/Takezo Kensei reveal, which could been worked around, and the cliffhanger at the end of the season premiere with shirtless, amnesiac Peter in a can where the iPods should have been (not that that was ever explained; not that I care, either), they could have aired this thing sequentially without damaging what was to follow.

If anything, making "Four Months Ago" the premiere might have made people feel more favorably disposed towards this season, since A)It provided answers instead of jerking people around, B)It did a better job of answering the "Why didn't Peter just fly away on his own?" question from the finale than the finale itself did, and C)It would have actually added some weight to the handful of Niki scenes we've had this year, where until now I just assumed D.L. had died from the Linderman gut shot wound.

Oh, wait, I thought of one reason Kring might have wanted to hold this one for so long: becase if we knew from the start why Peter was in Cork with no shirt and no memory, that storyline would have been even more blatantly pointless than it was when we joined it in media res.

I don't want to be too hard on "Four Months Ago," as there were some good moments in it: Elle's confession to Peter gave Kristen Bell a chance to do more than the sexy pout; corny as the D.L. firefighter story was, it gave a very marginalized character a moment in the sun before an ignoble death; and naive as Peter is (I hear he and Mohinder once had a race to see who could check first to see if his picture was in the dictionary under "gullible"), David Anders at least made Adam Monroe a plausibly charismatic Svengali.

But I still think it would have played much better eight weeks ago than now. As an added bonus, if we had begun the season with Maya and Alejandro's origin story, we might have been spared week upon week of endless variations of the "Don't make Maya angry / You won't like her when she's angry / Unless her brother's around" song. Coming this late into the season, the origin scenes felt beyond redundant.

If it wasn't for Kring's point-by-point mea culpa for every one of this season's faults, I'd be feeling a lot harsher towards this episode and this season. But I'll try to think positive and hope that, while Kring's walking the picket, he's thinking up a much better idea for Volume 3, whenever it might actually get made.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Chuck: The Summer of truth

Spoilers for "Chuck" coming up just as soon as I do a gymnastics routine...

A lot went on in the damned entertaining "Chuck Versus the Truth" -- the end of Chuck's (maybe not so) fake relationship, the beginning of a new (and potentially real) one, and sodium pentathol/near-death-fueled revelations by Chuck and Ellie -- but I want to start with the most permanent change:

Oh my god, they banished Harry Tang! You bastards!

While I'm sad to see the control freak go, the producers really didn't have any choice in the matter. In between pilot and series, C.S. Lee got promoted to regular cast status on "Dexter," and when you have a full-time job on one show, they're usually not wild about you moonlighting on another. That "Chuck" got to engage his services for this many episodes was kind of a bonus, and if Masuka should ever get as close to uncovering Dexter's secret identity as he did here with Chuck, he'd likely suffer a far worse fate -- which in turn would allow Lee to come back here.

(That Harry Tang -- and even in his farewell episode, it's a sign of what a vividly-etched character he was that I feel compelled to use the full name every time -- could stumble across Team Chuck conducting confidential government business in the middle of the Buy More illustrates what a contrivance it is for them to use the home theater room for that purpose instead of Casey's apartment, but at least it's a contrivance they've been using since episode two. If they'd dreamed it up just to get rid of Harry, I'd be annoyed.)

Not sure yet what I'd like to see happen with the assistant manager position. It could be a new character, or it could be Harry Tang protege Lester, but I feel like we've been given several hints now that Morgan will wind up with it, and that might be best. It would give Joshua Gomez a different color to play and also create some interesting tension between Chuck and Morgan. It's one thing for Chuck to sneak around behind that jerk Harry Tang's back to do his night job, but could he handle lying even more to his best friend -- especially after an episode in which the weight of all these lies and secrets (secrets and lies!) finally becomes too much to bear?

I'm glad the writers didn't string out Chuck and Sarah's cover relationship forever. Chuck's a nice guy and kind of a pushover, but that was just a cruel situation for him to be stuck in, with this blonde goddess blocking his access to other women and yet not allowing him access to herself. If the government needed an excuse for Sarah and Chuck to be spending so much time together, they could have had her move in to his building, or work at the Buy More (though it would have deprived us of the Wienerlicious uniform), or pretend to be Casey's girlfriend or whatever. This was unnecessary (in Chuck-world, though it created good tension in TV viewer-world), and good for Chuck for finally putting an end to it.

It helped that he had a good reason to end it in Lou the sandwich lady, AKA adorable and funny original Josh Schwartz player Rachel Bilson. Given the oft-discussed resemblance between Zachary Levi and Adam Brody (though I've realized it's mostly about the hair), there could have been a danger of this just turning into a rehash of Seth and Summer from "The O.C.," but Schwartz has written a character for Bilson that plays to her banter-y strengths without being the exact same person. Lou's passion for sandwiches reminded of of latter-day Summer's non-GE-mandated passion for the environment. But there's a straightforwardness and even a vulnerability to Lou that's new and appealing. I can't see Summer telling some guy she just met that she likes him so much she'd be into him if/when he dumped his current girlfriend, for instance.

What made "Truth" one of the strongest episodes yet (maybe not as funny as "Sandworm," but emotionally richer) was that it wasn't just about Chuck's bogus love life, but the larger question of him playing spy and lying to everyone about it. Chuck's angst would have worked even better if Ellie's situation could actually be blamed on his new life, rather than a coincidental case of wrong place/wrong time/loud-mouthed baby brother -- a point Casey or Sarah could have made more forcefully when he got too self-pitying -- but the scenes in the hospital were very strong.

In today's column, I talked about how the spy stories and villains aren't the series' strongest element, but this one was helped out mightily by the casting of Kevin Weisman, as he has more screen presence than most of the bad guys to date. Plus, it was bizarrely compelling to imagine Marshall from "Alias" as both an evil poisoner and a gymnast. And the gymnast thing led to that great Indiana Jones in Cairo moment where Weisman did a million backflips and then Sarah just shot him in the leg.

The sodium pentathol element to the poison provided several opportunities for good laughs, first with Ellie unloading on poor, unsuspecting Captain Awesome -- "If everything is awesome and nothing is unawesome, then everything by definition is mediocre!" -- then with Chuck and Casey being unable to lie about their plans to double-cross each other with the antidote. And of course it led to that sweet moment at the end where we find out Sarah was somehow unaffected by the truth serum. It wasn't exactly a surprise, as Yvonne Strahovski was playing the "Is this ever going anywhere?" scene like a woman madly in love with Chuck, but it was still effective.

Some other thoughts on "Chuck Versus the Truth":

• The moment where Chuck finally called Captain Awesome by his real name felt both earned and well set-up. (In contrast, "Scrubs" a few years ago built an episode's emotional climax on Dr. Cox finally referring to J.D. as J.D., but it wasn't quite as effective if you remembered that he did it a few times in the early days before the writers decided it was important that he not.)


• I will forgive the use of a Britney Spears song (albeit an on-the-nose one like "Toxic") because the episode also used Elmer Bernstein's soaring "Great Escape" theme (one of the most iconic film scores ever) as Casey talked Harry Tang into moving to Hawaii.


• Again, I realize Morgan is an acquired taste for some, but I really liked his "Her hair looked so much like licorice" line about Lou.


• Another funny, off-kilter line: Lou's "Our vast height difference intrigues me."

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Curb: The perfect woman

Spoilers for the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" season finale coming up just as soon as I adjust the thermostat...

Now we know why Larry's allegedly talking about coming back for another year, maybe even two. "Curb" with Larry and Cheryl? Maybe played out. "Curb" with Larry and the Blacks? Brilliant!

An up-and-down season got an up-and-down finale, but the final montage of Larry as Loretta's new man made everything -- the episode, the season, the John McEnroe episode -- totally worth it. Loretta getting up in Susie's face while Larry enjoys her protection and waves dismissively is one of the funniest "Curb" moments ever. When Loretta told Larry that they'd be moving out, I felt as sad as Larry did, if only because I was going to miss Leon and his advice ("You need to focus on some ass!" "Grow a mustache, man!"), and now, assuming Larry in real life decides to keep going, I won't have to.

I don't know that this living situation is going to be the status quo in the event of another season -- for all I know, the show could come back with the Blacks having moved out again -- but the possibilities are huge, as the glimpses we saw in the montage suggested. Larry as a parental figure? Larry with a woman who's as loud and confrontational as he is? Larry with a woman who's much harder to offend than Cheryl? Leon as an ongoing castmember? Sign me up.

The episode as a whole, like I said, was uneven. I liked the little moments, like Jeff revoking the $50 bet, or Larry and Lewis essentially breaking character (if that's possible in this format) over the "Ben Laden" mispronunciation, or Larry's interplay with the patient sign-in sheet ("You strike me as that type," "I'm not an inventor, but I'm an improver"). But outside of Larry's explosion at his assistant for mentioning the tickle in front of Michael McKean, I don't think any of the larger plot worked, falling into that "Curb" trap of seeming predictable rather than inevitable.

But Loretta calling out Susie? Damn. I need to go watch that again. What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Sepinwall on TV: More 'Chuck,' please

Ordinarily, I try not to write too many columns about any one show, even the ones I love, more than two or three times a season: once at the start, once near the end, and maybe once at the middle. The strike, however, wreaks havoc with that approach, and there are shows where I have to write about now or never -- particularly the borderline cases like "Chuck" that didn't get back nine orders before the writers walked. An excerpt from today's column:

Levi's appealing Everyman quality allows him to convincingly utter lines like "You know, if I had a blog, this would be a really big day for me" after discovering he may have been poisoned to death, and it allows the writers to sometimes get away with forgettable spy heroics. The espionage stories on "Chuck" aren't going to make anyone forsake the Bond or Bourne movies anytime soon, but because Chuck's in the middle of them, they're often besides the point. We just want to see how he's going to respond to being poisoned, or to having to land a helicopter with no training outside of video games, or, tonight, to being in a fake relationship with Sarah when a real girl would date him if she didn't think he had a girlfriend.

To read the full thing, click here. Click here to read the full post

Dexter: Burnin' down the house

Spoilers for the “Dexter” episode “That Night, a Forest Grew” coming up just as soon as I practice my head-butting technique...

Despite my tremendous enjoyment of “Dexter,” I only blogged about it occasionally during its first season, and episodes like this one are the reason why.

I actually have no complaints about “That Night, a Forest Grew” (a “Where the Wild Things Are” reference). It’s a very strong episode. Many interesting things happen plotwise, as Dexter gets a little too cute in trying to manipulate Lundy and achieves the right amount of cuteness in discrediting and banishing Doakes (though it’ll still come back to bite him, I’m sure). And many interesting things happen characterwise, as Dexter struggles to choose between the pretty angel on one shoulder (Rita) and the sexy devil on the other (Lila), and as Deb declares her intentions for more than a father/daughter-type relationship with Lundy. I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end.

But here’s why my “Dexter” posts last year were so few and far between, and why this post is going to be relatively short: between Dexter’s introspective narration and all the overtly psychological dialogue (between Dexter and Lila, Deb and Lundy, Rita and her mom, etc.), I’m not sure what’s left to say. The series often does such a good job of analyzing itself that it renders further criticism redundant, you know?

We can question some things along the way -- Did Dexter’s glance at the repaired light bulb at the end clue him in to the fact that Lila engages in destructive behavior to get what she wants? Was Dexter smart or stupid to show his hand so overtly to Doakes? Is Lundy really as straightforward as he seems, or has he been manipulating Deb to get her to this point? -- but for the most part, this episode (and this series as a whole) operates on a What You See Is What You Get level. Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all, but as a critic/blogger, I’m rendered kind of speechless by it. And since the comments for this show generally tend to be vastly more insightful than my reviews of same, I’m going to keep this brief, hit a few bullet points, and then open it up to the crowd. So:

• Can someone please, for the love of all that is good and right, tell me the name of the jazz piece Lundy was playing in the first discussion of music scene? I know it’s a number that I have in my collection, and on my iPod, for that matter, and I know my father the jazz buff could name that tune in three or four notes if he were still around, but I haven’t been able to track it down, and I obviously can’t Google the lyrics. A little help, please?
• That said, I really love the notion of Lundy needing to find the right piece of music to use to figure out his target. As a writer who always needs to work to music and often can only write certain kinds of things to certain kinds of music (all of my final season “Sopranos” columns, for instance, had to be composed to The Hold Steady’s “Boys and Girls in America,” and if I tried anything else, I was blocked), I can get behind that concept. It makes sense as Lundy described it, and it’s an investigative quirk I don’t think I’ve come across before in the thousands of hours of TV crime drama produced each year.
• Another lovely case of familiar idea/unfamiliar execution: Lundy explaining the age discrepancy with “I know the lyrics to elevator music.” Never heard that variation before.
• Loved the Mark Twain/”Deep Space Nine”/”Next Generation” exchange between Angel, Masuka and the apparently very geeky female member of Lundy’s team.
• In the role of the wrongly-accused Mr. Wilson, hey, it’s that guy Dale Midkiff! There was a period in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s where Midkiff seemed on the verge of becoming something big, TV-wise, and while he’s worked steadily and had several regular series jobs, it never quite happened for him.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Friday Night Lights: Stuck next to Midland with you

Spoilers for "Friday Night Lights" coming up just as soon as I catch a pig...

Questions I still need answers to after watching "How Did I Get Here?":

• Given the show's historical lack of any notable defensive players, not to mention Landry's ascendancy last week at tight end, why would the writers or Coach Taylor consider putting a completely inexperienced guy with bad hands like Santiago at a skill position like tight end?
• Why didn't Street or Lyla or even Riggins himself tell Coach the reason for his "sojourn," which just might have been compelling enough to get Tim out of the doghouse and back on the team?
• Why doesn't an apparently smart veteran lawman like Landry's dad realize that disappearing/burning one of the 20 cars in town that match the list the detectives are using will just point a shiny neon sign of guilt at his son?

The Santiago question is kind of football geek minutiae, but the other two are contrivances designed to keep stories moving when they otherwise might be over. I actually don't mind the Riggins storyline (more on that below), but somebody somewhere needed to bring up the Mexico trip, even if it was in the context of the three road trippers agreeing not to explain it to avoid embarrassing Street. (That, or Coach deciding that the reason doesn't matter, given Riggins' long list of infractions.)

As for the great car fire of '07... sigh. Glenn Morshower is so brilliant at depicting Chad Clarke's unconditional love for the son he's never understood, or maybe even liked -- my heart was in my throat as he tried to get Landry to confess -- that it makes me sad he was brought in for this silly, over-the-top subplot that doesn't remotely fit with the rest of the series. And this week, it turns out that the Clarke men share a tendency to make terrible decisions under pressure. If Woody had gone straight to the police... um, I mean, if Landry had just called the cops back at the time of the killing, he probably would've been fine. Even here, if Mr. Clarke had just said that they were going to get a lawyer and march into the station, I think some kind of plausible resolution to this story could have been reached that would have kept Landry out of jail and part of the high school world. Instead, he does something guaranteed to bring attention on himself and his son, and to drag this thing out even longer. Jason Katims promised this wouldn't turn into "CSI: Dillon," but that's exactly what it feels like.

That the rest of the episode -- back in the show's wheelhouse about the institutional grind of big-time high school football and the sense of hopelessness that comes from living in a place like Dillon -- was so strong only annoys/mystifies me even further. Clearly, Katims and the other writers understand what makes "FNL" great, and yet somehow they thought the Landry plot was a good idea and a tonal fit with everything else. I don't get it.

Oh, here's another question: has there been an episode yet this season where Tami didn't cry? This isn't a complaint, mind you -- Connie Britton is a fantastic crier, and if ever there was a time in a woman's life where she'd be justified in constant waterworks, it'd be shortly after the birth of a new baby -- but as I watched her deliver that hilarious/poignant speech about going through parenthood all over again and having another daughter who will hate her 16 years from now, I thought, "Boy, Tami's weeped a lot this season, hasn't she?" Not that Connie Britton ever has a bad episode, but this one felt like an especially strong showcase for her. The opening scene in particular was like one large palette of all the colors that make up Tami Taylor: the tough woman who can order Eric to fix the paycheck thing, the overwhelmed woman still dealing with the responsibilities of the new baby, the sexually vibrant woman proud of how her body still looks after all this mileage and another pregnancy, the woman who can still act all giddy and girly at the arrival of her sister, and the family woman who sometimes wonders what the hell she's doing in Dillon.

Tami's not the only one asking that last question. As the episode's title suggests, nearly every character with a significant storyline winds up questioning how they get into the mess they're in: Tami and her sister Shelly having a lot of grass is greener envy, Eric stuck with a reduced paycheck and the added pain in the ass of becoming the school's athletic director, Street realizing he doesn't belong in this world anymore, Riggins trying desperately to get back into that world while he still can, and Julie reaping what she sowed with The Swede. Even the Landry story, dumb and clumsy as it is, fits the "How Did I Get Here?" theme.

I don't know too much of the mechanics of Texas high school football economics, so I don't know the plausibility of Eric's new salary situation. I vaguely recall reading somewhere that a small school like Dillon doesn't have the budget to pay for a big football staff, and that the bulk of the salary for Eric and his assistants would come from the booster club; if true, this would make some sense. I'm glad that there are going to be some lasting consequences to Eric's, um, sojourn to TMU, though I'm undecided on whether I ever again want to see walking stereotype soccer coach Bobbi Roberts (the role that was allegedly written with Rosie O'Donnell in mind, God help us all).

The Street story is progressing the only way it can, even if that means he'll start having less and less connection to the rest of the cast (if he isn't written out of the show altogether, about which I know nothing). Sure, he coached up Saracen last year, and the spinal injury couldn't take away his greatest gift as a player -- the leadership that, as Coach put so powerfully, lets Jason "lift up everyone around you" -- but MacGregor, control freak tool that he was, wasn't wrong when he called Jason a glorified mascot. So long as he stays affiliated with the Dillon high school team, it doesn't matter how well he can communicate X's and O's to his players; he's always going to be the cautionary tale/ghost of the once-great franchise quarterback. (Hell of a way to spend your 19th birthday, watching game footage of the man you can't be anymore. Classy move, Mr. Street.) So what does Jason do now? Presumably he got his GED, and I got the sense he was an achiever as a student as well as an athlete; is there room on this series for "Jason Street: The College Years"? Do we go back to the quad rugby world, or is that no good now that the actor who plays Herc is busy helping the Bionic Woman save the world?

Whatever he does, the scenes where Jason asked Lyla for advice and said goodbye to Coach were both terrific. There's so much history between Jason and Lyla that they can each cut through each other's BS. Jason can warn Lyla not to proselytize, and she'll stop instantly, just as she can slice through his self-pity and explain that if he wants to change, he just has to do it. And Eric's exit conversation with Jason? I'm not sure I have the words for that one, or else I just used up the lump in the throat cliche back in the talk about Landry's dad. This is another relationship with a lot of history, some of which we've seen, but going all the way back to Jason's childhood. The child becomes a man, and Eric knows him well enough to understand why Jason needs to leave, but also that there may come a day where he wants those tapes back. Jason's one of the few characters on the show (along with Julie and Landry) who comes from an intact two-parent home, but Eric Taylor is more of a father to him than his actual dad, and that kind of bond has a power that doesn't need very much dialogue to convey.

Even if Riggins' banishment is a contrivance, I'm okay with it for now. Either Taylor Kitsch has grown on me or the character, epic in his self-loathing and self-destruction, has become actor proof (I think it's a bit of both). I like the idea of him taking his best friend's place as a tutor to the younger players on the team, even if he doesn't particularly want to be. Plus, Tim and Billy scenes are always gold, even if Tami the uber guidance counselor should have picked up on the whole "he's sleeping with my girlfriend" line as evidence of a deeper problem. (Back when she was teaching Glenn how to fill in for her, she talked to him about how important it was to stay tuned into problems at home.)

I can't say that I feel sorry for Julie in having to witness Matt finally taking advantage of his QB1 status and making out with a random cheerleader groupie, simply because her behavior was so horrible for most of the season to date, but it's a mark of Aimee Teegardeen's skill that I even thought about feeling bad for her for a moment. And while I'm glad that the writers have remembered that Julie and Tyra are somehow BFFs, Tyra the accomplice after the fact suggesting they watch "Thelma and Louise" was probably funnier than the writers intended.

A few other thoughts:

• My brain hurts trying to figure out how old everybody's supposed to be. Does Lyla -- Street's girlfriend since the womb, practically -- even go to high school anymore, and if not, why isn't college talked about for her? And shouldn't Tami/Tim counseling session been a perfect excuse for her to mention that he's been held back before, which would explain why Street's best pal didn't graduate after last season? And while Santiago must be high school age, since he got out of a juvenile facility, it seems odd that returning to school wasn't mentioned during his previous appearance.
• Smash still hasn't had much to do this year, and I still think the reconciliation between him and Saracen happened too easily, but I liked him finally taking his captain's responsibility seriously -- even if it was for selfish reasons -- by trying to get Riggins to dedicate himself to getting back on the team. Not enough Mama Smash for my liking, but I got a kick out of Smash's sisters taking Tim's side on the "don't flirt with my mother" issue.
• If I didn't want to visit a network website and therefore side with the studios over the WGA right now, I'd want to hit NBC.com to see if I can buy a Crucifictorius t-shirt like Landry was sporting.
• Who knew there was such a big airport right there in Dillon?

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