Upfront Watch: CW, take two

They finally issued the press release, which you can read here. When I'm done with the Fox call and my early print deadline, I'll try to come back with some thoughts.

UPDATE: As I mentioned in the "Veronica" post below, Rob Thomas said all his writers are accepting job offers from other shows. It's over. Meanwhile, full CW schedule and a few thoughts after the jump...

MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS
8:30-9:00 PM ALIENS IN AMERICA (New Series)
9:00-9:30 PM GIRLFRIENDS
9:30-10:00 PM THE GAME

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
9:00-10:00 PM REAPER (New Series)

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
9:00-10:00 PM GOSSIP GIRL (New Series)

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM SMALLVILLE
9:00-10:00 PM SUPERNATURAL

FRIDAY
8:00-10:00 PM FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN!

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM CW NOW (New Series)
7:30-8:00 PM ONLINE NATION (New Series)
8:00-9:00 PM LIFE IS WILD (New Series)
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (Encore Presentation)

So, a few thoughts:

• I can't let myself get too angry about the death of "Veronica." Dawn gave it three seasons when it arguably only deserved one. They put it after UPN's highest-rated show. Then they put it on after the most-compatible series on either UPN or the WB. People didn't want to watch.
• Kevin Smith directs the "Reaper" pilot, and while I love the guy's work, he's not someone I'd hire in a director-only capacity. Writer-only, sure. But not the other way. Also, since "Reaper" stars Brett Harrison, "The Loop" is dead after its upcoming 10-episode (or less, depending on ratings) run on Fox.
• I'll give "Gossip Girl" a look out of Josh Schwartz loyalty, but unless one of the pilots unexpectedly wows me, I don't know that I'll be watch much of the network next season. I'm technically still in their demo, but just barely.

What does everybody else think?

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Upfront Watch: Fox

Gotta do this one quick, as the press call with Peter Liguori is in about a half-hour and I have an early deadline overall. Fox's press site is password-protected from the jump, so I can't link to the press release, but I'll plug in the usual three-pronged schedule (fall, January and spring) below, along with brief descriptions of the new shows (bolded to break up the clutter) and my own thoughts:

FALL
MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM PRISON BREAK
9:00-10:00 PM K-VILLE (cop drama set in post-Katrina New Orleans, with Anthony Anderson and Cole Hauser)

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM NEW AMSTERDAM (immortal Manhattan cop)
9:00-10:00 PM HOUSE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM BACK TO YOU (Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton as bickering local news anchors)
8:30-9:00 PM 'TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 PM BONES

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
9:00-10:00 PM KITCHEN NIGHTMARES (remake of Gordon Ramsay's UK show, hosted by him)

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND (working title)
9:00-10:00 PM NASHVILLE (working title) (docu-soap reality show about country music wannabes)

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK
11:00 PM-MIDNIGHT MADtv
MIDNIGHT-12:30 AM TALK SHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

JANUARY/SPRING
MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM K-VILLE (January)/PRISON BREAK (Spring)
9:00-10:00 PM 24

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM AMERICAN IDOL
9:00-10:00 PM HOUSE

WEDNESDAY (January)
8:00-8:30 PM BACK TO YOU
8:30-9:00 PM 'TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICAN IDOL

WEDNESDAY (Spring)
8:00-8:30 PM BACK TO YOU
8:30-9:00 PM THE RETURN OF JEZEBEL JAMES (working title) (Amy Sherman-Palladino-created sitcom with Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose as sisters who are so distant they're more like mother and daughter; flipside of "Gilmore Girls")
9:00-9:30 PM AMERICAN IDOL Results Show
9:30-10:00 PM 'TIL DEATH

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
9:00-10:00 PM CANTERBURY'S LAW (Julianna Margulies in a Denis Leary-produced defense lawyer show)

FRIDAY (Spring)
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-10:00 PM NEW AMSTERDAM

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK
11:00 PM-MIDNIGHT MADtv
MIDNIGHT-12:30 AM TALKSHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN

SUNDAY (Spring)
7:00-7:30 PM KING OF THE HILL
7:30-8:00 PM AMERICAN DAD
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM FAMILY GUY
9:00-10:00 PM THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES (what happened to Sarah and John after "Terminator 2")

Brief thoughts:

• After seeing Anthony Anderson as Antwon Mitchell, I've been itching for him to get the lead in a drama, so I'm hopeful about "K-Ville."
• Between "New Amsterdam" and CBS' "Moonlight," do we now have a trend of immortal detective shows, or do we need a third?
• I've said before that Fox is trying to turn into CBS circa 2001, and now they've paired two different sitcoms starring "Everybody Loves Raymond" actors. On the other hand, "New Amsterdam" and "Sarah Connor Chronicles" both seem like the sort of thing that Gail Berman or one of her half-dozen predecessors might have tried.
• This one gives me less of a headache to explain than the usual triple-layered Fox lineup, so that's something.

Gotta write, then see if Peter Liguori has anything interesting to say.

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Upfront Watch: No CW yet, but 'Veronica Mars seems dead

I couldn't attend the CW's upfront in person, and my attempt to watch a streaming video feed of it made me feel like I was using a TRS-80, and they have yet to send out an actual press release yet (even though Fox sent theirs a half-hour ago, and I'll get to it shortly).

For readers of this blog, though, the obvious interest is in the fate of "Veronica Mars," and I'm told that in a chat with reporters afterwards, Dawn Ostroff said, basically, that the show was we know it (i.e. the college years) is dead, they're still considering some kind of spin-off (i.e., Veronica: FBI), but that she didn't think it was going to happen. As Rob has been saying in some other interviews, they technically have until mid-June to make a decision, but I don't see it happening, especially with Kristen Bell as the narrator for "Gossip Girls."

UPDATE: Rob said all the writers are accepting job offers from other shows. It's over.

Back with Fox in a few... Click here to read the full post

Lost: SUB-question...

Spoilers for "Lost" coming up just as soon as I finish my list of the top five musical crimes perpetrated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s...

They're on a nice little roll right now, this show. Even when I get frustrated by it -- say, any time Jack is on screen and not getting repeatedly punched in the face -- I'm engaged on a level the show hasn't reached for me since late last season. (Just as most "Lost" episodes are structured so that all the interesting stuff happens in the final minutes, so is a "Lost" season constructed to put all the interesting stuff in the May sweeps episodes. Hopefully, only doing 16 a year from now on will fix that.)

I hate Charlie. You hate Charlie. We all hate Charlie and would like to see him dead. And yet the show did a good job of making me care about his planned sacrifice. The Top 5 flashbacks didn't erase all the bad and/or annoying crap he's done over the last three seasons (especially but not limited to the Darth Hoodie phase from last year). But the idea of one of the show's more selfish, obnoxious characters willingly going to his death to save people he cares about (even if he really only cares about Claire, Turnip-Head and maybe Hurley) was a good one, and I found myself caring more and more as the episode went on...

...even as I suspected that Charlie would survive. I'm hopeful he still gets killed in the finale, both because he's my second-least favorite character after Jack, and because it would cheapen a lot of what happened last night for him to live. (Maybe they go for some Gift of the Magi irony and Claire dies instead.) Last night, though, they got me. I was expecting one of three outcomes: 1)Desmond's vision comes true to the letter, with Charlie saving the day and dying; 2)Charlie dies in failure, because the show is just that bleak sometimes; 3)Charlie succeeds and yet somehow manages to make it back up in time. I sure as hell wasn't predicting that he'd be besieged by some underwater commandos. Are they Others/Hostiles? Dharma? Something else entirely?

The rest of the episode had its moments as well -- the triumphant "Oh, they've been here all along" return of the wonderful Rose and Bernard being a particular highlight (though I fear they brought Bernard back just to kill him, because, again, the show is just that bleak) -- but I continue to hate Jack the idiot douche. There's still no good reason for why he was acting so mysterious with everybody for the last few episodes. (As Charlie put it -- and when Charlie's making more sense than you, you know you're a complete imbecile -- "Why does everything have to be a secret? Why not some openness for a change?") Also, Jack's obsession with killing The Others -- especially at the expense of a rescue plan -- doesn't really track with his willingness to make nice with Ben and Tom and everybody in exchange for a submarine ride back the mainland. Sometimes, Jack is an obstinate jackass because it fits his character, but lately, it's been just to serve the plot, and that makes me dislike him even more.

I'm hopeful the finale's good, as Lindelof and Cuse often do their best work in finales. (Even the first season finale was pretty great until the bone-headed decision to not go inside the hatch, and they learned their lesson on that score.) What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

American Idol: Top 3 results

My access to the NJ.com blog is down at the moment, so I'm just going to post my "Idol" thoughts here. Irritating spoilers to follow...

The judges are wrong. They’ve always been wrong. It’s not a singing competition. It’s never been a singing competition.

Need proof? Look to last night’s “American Idol” results, when Melinda Doolittle – by far the season’s best singer – went home, leaving the far less-gifted Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks as the final two.

Melinda was one of the best pure vocal talents “Idol” had ever found, up there with Kelly Clarkson, Tamyra Gray, Elliott Yamin and a few others. But as celebrity mentor Peter Noone helpfully explained earlier this season, “Idol” is a voting competition, not a singing competition. You can hit every note, sell every emotion, tackle every genre, and in the end what seems to matter more is whether you have nice hair, or a bubbly personality, or in some other way appeal to young girls or older women, the two largest “Idol” voting blocs.

Melinda seemed to recognize this going in. A former professional backup singer stepping into the spotlight for the first time, she sold the “Aw, shucks, you all love little ol’ me?” for all it was worth – until Simon Cowell told her to stop doing it and act like she knew she was so great.

Her personal hook gone, all Melinda had to rely on was her voice, and while it was brilliant, it was also consistently brilliant. This started to bore the audience and the judges, who both gravitate towards performers who make some sort of “journey” with their talent. Randy Jackson began referring to her weekly as “our resident pro” in a way that made it sound like an insult. Paula Abdul complained last week that Melinda was too consistently good, that she needed to show them something different.

Her only other real Achilles heel was a tendency to come across like a much older woman with older tastes; she would be a challenge to sell to contemporary CD buyers, where Blake (Timberlake-esque dance music) and Jordin (“High School Musical”-esque tween pop) are both practically ready to go in the studio tomorrow.

The producers have to be pleased by this outcome, since they’ve been grudging in their praise of Melinda and haven’t tried to hide the fact that Jordin’s their favorite. In a head-to-head match-up with Melinda in the finale, Jordin’s vocal shortcomings would have been much more obvious, but Blake’s an even more limited singer. Assuming the winner of this year’s songwriting competition delivers another treacly, glory note-filled ballad along the lines of “Inside Your Heaven” and “A Moment Like This,” Jordin’s going to look a lot better than Blake.

A finale without Melinda feels both besides the point and completely appropriate. In the Year of Sanjaya, what sense would it make for somebody with Melinda’s voice to have a shot at winning?

Click here to read the full post

Upfront Watch: CBS

No egg-tossing required (and I was in an ideal position to do so, as Les Moonves sat at my table), as "HIMYM" made the schedule as rumored yesterday. You can read the press release here, but schedule breakdown and my thoughts to follow...

MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
8:30-9:00 PM THE BIG BANG THEORY (N)
9:00-9:30 PM TWO AND A HALF MEN
9:30-10:00 PM RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: MIAMI
TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM NCIS
9:00-10:00 PM THE UNIT
10:00-11:00 PM CANE (N)
WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM KID NATION (N)
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMINAL MINDS
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: NY
THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM SURVIVOR
9:00-10:00 PM CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
10:00-11:00 PM WITHOUT A TRACE (NT)
FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM GHOST WHISPERER
9:00-10:00 PM MOONLIGHT (N)
10:00-11:00 PM NUMB3RS
SATURDAY
8:00-9:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 PM 48 HOURS: MYSTERY
SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM 60 MINUTES
8:00-9:00 PM VIVA LAUGHLIN (N)
9:00-10:00 PM COLD CASE
10:00-11:00 PM SHARK (NT)

Also, "Amazing Race" and "New Adventures of Old Christine" will be back at midseason, along with "Swingtown," a period drama about the sexual revolution in suburban Chicago in the mid-'70s (think "Ice Storm: The Series").

So, quick thoughts:

• Clearly, "HIMYM" was never in that much danger, as CBS still trusts it to lead off the night. For whatever reason, Les likes to make producers sweat until the last minute.
• "Viva Laughlin" (musical gangster story, remake of BBC's "Viva Blackpool," rumored to be Rob Thomas' landing spot if/when "Veronica Mars" gets canceled tomorrow), "Moonlight" (vampire private eye, with some "Buffy" and "Angel" alums as showrunners) and "Cane" (Cuban-American "Godfather") are all significant departures from what CBS usually does.
• "Without a Trace" and "Shark" swap places. "Trace" will probably do better in its old timeslot than "Shark" did, and Thursday's a more valuable night than Sunday's because of movie and car advertising. (None of the new dramas were considered for this timeslot because they all have some serial elements, and CBS wants a night that will do well across the board all season; the Bruckheimer shows repeat much better than serials.)
• "Kid Nation," a sort of reality "Lord of the Flies" where 40 kids are put in a town with no real adult supervision (aside from all those camera guys and sound men and producers, of course) could be interesting. If nothing else, it doesn't sound like any current reality concept, and the new ideas tend to be the ones that pop the most.
• "Swingtown," wherever it debuts (10 o'clock timeslot mandatory, they said), will run straight through; CBS learned their lesson from the fast fade of "Jericho" after the winter hiatus.

Gotta write my official story now for the paper. I had hoped to watch "Veronica Mars" using my Slingbox, but my iBook currently hates me (it thinks it's New Year's Eve, 1969, and even after I changed the date back, it has a tendency to start freezing up and presenting weird light displays, so I'm afraid to touch it until I get to an Apple Store), and the computer I'm using at our New York office doesn't have the proper software to watch anything on the CW's website. Sorry. Cone of Silence remains.

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The Shield: Writing is fundamental

I'm off to Manhattan for the CBS upfront press breakfast (aka Lox With Les), where I've been led to believe that the throwing of eggs will not be required, so far as the fate of "HIMYM" is concerned. I haven't seen "Veronica Mars" or "House" yet and may not get to them until tonight or even tomorrow. Not that I expect any earth-shattering plot developments on either one, but the Cone of Silence is up.

Spoilers for "The Shield" coming up just as soon as I find that arm I misplaced...

Not much was going to be able to live up to last week's Biblical confrontation between Vic and Shane, but "Exiled" did a good job of moving the pieces forward and showing just how dangerous Shane can be once, like Tony Soprano, he completely sets his conscience aside and focuses solely on self-preservation. How the hell does Vic get Shane now without bringing down himself, Ronnie and maybe Corrinne and the kids? Are we heading towards a situation where the Armenians get one over on Shane just like Antwon Mitchell did a few years back? And if someone other than Vic winds up killing Shane, is Vic screwed, regardless?

In other developments, somebody refresh my memory, please: was Aceveda always this much of a putz? I have vague recollections of him once being a half-decent, fairly smart cop who was always undercut by his own vanity and ambition, but maybe I give him too much credit because he was Vic's main opposition for a couple of seasons. Because giving up Hernan's identity to his developer buddy was one of the five dumbest things done by a character on this show (others include Aceveda staying alone in the house where he got raped, and anything from a large menu of Shane's activities), and I have no doubt that he's directly responsible for Hernan's disappearance.

Beyond that, I liked the little snippet of Dutch and Claudette working as a team again as they figured a way to hang onto the Mexican diplomat's money -- and, therefore, the Mexican diplomat. (Anybody know if that stat about 33% of all U.S currency testing positive for drug traces is true?) And while Mara's far from my favorite character on this show, this episode reminded us why she's the perfect woman for Shane, as ruthless and tunnel-visioned as he is.

What did everybody else think? And a reminder from the comments of last week: I understand that the final three episodes are available on-line somewhere because they already aired in France. If you have seen them, DO NOT DISCUSS THEM IN ANY WAY HERE. Don't hint, don't ask questions, nothing. Are we clear? This has been and will continue to be a spoiler-safe site. Click here to read the full post

Gilmore Girls: So long, farewell, amen

Sigh... It's all over. Spoilers for the "Gilmore Girls" series finale coming right up...

David Rosenthal knew. He obviously knew this would be the end. In form, if not always in style (because nobody could write Amy Sherman-Palladino dialogue as well as Amy could), this is exactly what a "Gilmore Girls" series finale should have looked like. Rory meets her idol and gets a lavish send-off from the town, Luke and Lorelai get back together (but not for such an extended period that we have to deal with whatever the hell has been going on with Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson all these years), Lorelai makes peace with her father and her mother, Lorelai sends Rory off into true adulthood, and we close with a mirror of the pilot, with Lorelai and Rory having coffee and an excessive breakfast at Luke's. Short of Amy coming back to write those legendary final two words (any guesses? "Shut up," maybe?), I don't know how much more we could have wanted.

In a lot of ways, it reminded me of "The West Wing" finale, another show where the chief creative voice had left the building and the product had suffered, and yet the replacement found a way to do right by the fans in the end. In particular, Richard's "It takes a remarkable person to inspire all of this" speech to Lorelai may have gotten me more misty-eyed than anything I've seen on television since Jed Bartlet said goodbye to Charlie. Even when "Gilmore Girls" had its problems -- and the last few seasons have given us many, many problems -- it was always worth watching for the interplay between Lauren Graham, Edward Herrmann and Kelly Bishop, and all three were in top form at the end. (As touching in its own way, if not as waterworks-inducing, was Lorelai realizing that her mother just wanted an excuse to keep having the Friday night dinners, and finding a way to agree without embarrassing Emily by calling her on it.)

Luke and Lorelai's reconciliation was very spare and nicely-done, with Luke's "I just like to see you happy" all the words that were needed. Interesting choice, though, to immediately pan up to show the party instead of the lingering kiss; were they giving the couple their privacy, or not forcing Lauren and Scott to smooch at length? (See? This is why I'm glad the show's not continuing, because I don't want to be thinking this much about off-screen rumors and whatnot.)

The hour wasn't perfect, of course, though again some of that is because of things that happened a long time ago. The Lane/Rory scene, for instance, would have had far more impact if Lane had actually been written as Rory's best friend the last three or four seasons, instead of the townie pal she left behind for Yale. (Still, it was nice to take a trip down Lane's love memory lane, including a Dave Rygalski shout-out.) And outside of Michel and Rory mocking Lorelai's behavior around celebrity guests, most of the humor didn't really work. A shame for such a historically funny show to go out so relatively flat.

Still, given everything we and the show have been though, Amy's absence and the fact that there had to be some wiggle room left open for one last season (which probably would have featured the return of Logan), this was about as good a finale as I could have hoped for. I'm bummed that Lauren Graham will likely never again have a part this good to show how amazing she is, but it's time. Bye, Stars Hollow. It's been fun. Click here to read the full post

American Idol: Top 3

Over the previous five seasons of "American Idol," a distinct pattern has emerged about Top 3 Night: whoever sings first gets eliminated. Every single time. Nikki McKibbin, Kimberley Locke, Jasmine Trias, Vonzell Solomon and Elliott Yamin all went first on this night, and all went home.

Your "Idol" conspiracy theorists have taken this as evidence that the producers deliberately sandbag the person they don't want to make it to the finals by placing them first, and by saddling them with lousy or too difficult songs. My buddy and fellow "Idol" blogger Dan Fienberg argues that all five of the above people were clearly outclassed by the time Top 3 rolled around, that they were going to go home regardless, and that if the producers started playing into the pattern, it's only to acknowledge the obvious pecking order.

So what, I wonder, will the conspiracy theorists make of tonight's episode, in which Jordin Sparks -- who even a non-obsessed fan can recognize has been the producer's favorite for quite a while -- goes first and gets some unideal songs to sing in rounds one and two? Are they trying to break the First Curse? Do they want to remove any appearance of favoritism? Or is everybody just completely overthinking this?

To read the rest, go to NJ.com, but you can comment here. Click here to read the full post

Help me write a column, part 924

I'm toying with a piece about some of the best male villains on current primetime series. At the moment, I have close to a full top 10 list, including Ben from "Lost," Gaius Baltar, Phil Leotardo, Marlo from "The Wire," Shane from "The Shield" and a few others (the "CSI" Miniature Killer will make the list depending on whether his appearance in the finale lives up to the build-up), but every time I do one of these list stories, I feel like I'm missing something obvious, so let me open the floor to you all.

Obviously, "villain" is a subjective term -- Tony Soprano and Vic Mackey could easily take the place of Phil and Shane -- so I'm open to all kinds of suggestions. Click here to read the full post

Heroes: Let me pick your brain

I don't ordinarily use vertical pictures on this blog, as they mess with whatever my design aesthetic is, but I'll make an exception for the above because... dude. You can see why. "Heroes" spoilers coming right up...

First of all? Worst. Anticlimax. Ever. "Claire, you have to shoot me! Oh, wait. Nevermind. It's all good, yo." I never got around to reviewing last week's episode, but the entire thing felt like foot-dragging in between Hiro's trip to the future and the inevitable events of the finale. (Sylar and his mom in the life-size snowglobe almost made up for everything else, but not quite.) This one still had to move some pieces around (Sylar stealing Ted's power, Hiro studying under Papa Nakamura), but it felt far more exciting overall as the bodies began to drop.

I think death has become a cheap device in network dramas -- "24" in particular has now conditioned its audience to not care about anyone but the main character, because everyone else is one case of writer's bloc away from catching a bullet -- but these deaths were very well-executed (pardon the pun). HRG putting a bullet in Eric Roberts' brain was awesome, and D.L. putting his fist in Linderman's brain even moreso. D.L. is arguably the least interesting original character left, but if he dies, they gave him a kewl exit. And Sylar beckoning the FBI van to come to him, then stop on a dime, was one of the creepiest demonstrations of his powers yet. I like how his ability (natural or paranormal) to understand how things work tends to make him better with each power than the person he stole it from (and better than Peter's been so far with his borrowed abilities). At the same time, I feel like they have to get rid of Sylar in the finale, or at least find some way to depower him, because he's officially become too powerful for any character but Peter and maybe Hiro to realistically face.

Papa Nakamura showing off his mad katana skills was a highlight -- George Takei had the same gleam in his eyes as he did in that "Star Trek" episode where Sulu was running around the Enterprise shirtless with a fencing sword -- as was the acknowledgement that HRG isn't all warm and cuddly now that we've gotten to know him. I imagine he and Mohinder will come up with some compromise solution about Molly, but HRG's not playing -- he'll kill the girl if it comes to that, even if he has to die himself.

Some pointless speculation on the finale:

• Like Kensei, Hiro will have to cut out his heart to save the day. Does that mean he'll have to surrender his own innocence, or that he'll have to let Ando die?
  
• If D.L. dies from the bullet wound (and he looked alive but still pained in the previews), does that automatically change the future Hiro visited? Because D.L. survived there, at least long enough for Sylar to eat his brain.
• Can Linderman apply his healing powers to himself, ala Claire and Peter, and bring himself back, or is he kaput? (And if his powers are like Claire's, is there any chance that he and not Pa Petrelli is Nathan's dad? In general, there hasn't been any correlation between the powers of family members, but you never know.)
• So what does Candice actually look like? The french fry scene suggested she's at least fat. There's a very minor Marvel Comics villain (from "Squadron Supreme") named Moonglow who's a heavyset woman with illusion-casting powers that she uses to turn herself into a hot, skinny blonde.
  
• Anybody know who drew the Kensei pictures? I don't read "Lone Wolf & Cub," but it vaguely resembled what I can remember of those covers.

What did everybody else think? Will the explosion be averted, or is Linderman right that it can't be stopped? Click here to read the full post

HIMYM: Tell people what?

Spoilers for the "How I Met Your Mother" season (series?) finale coming up just as soon as I cocktail wiener block somebody...

Last week, "HIMYM" did a very good job of making a predictable sitcom situation (the wedding disaster) feel somewhat fresh and very funny. Last night, they tried to create some suspense about an outcome we all already knew -- if not when, then definitely what -- and it wasn't quite as successful. It was still a funny episode, thanks largely to Marshall and Lily's hunger pains (back to that in a minute) and Barney's reaction to the twists and turns of Ted's story, but the whole "The story's not over yet" device didn't work. Even people who hadn't figured out that the spaghetti stains from two weeks ago symbolized something big knew that Ted and Robin were destined to break up, and much of this season had been building towards that.

Still, given the corner Bays and Thomas painted themselves into in the pilot, I admire the way they handled the whole relationship. They recognized the obvious chemistry between Josh and Cobie, put them together for a season without having the show drown in their coupling the way "Friends" did with Ross 'n Rachel, while occasionally reminding us why it wouldn't work out. And in the end they broke them up without a lot of stupid tears and fireworks, and in a way that allows Robin to stay a part of the group if the show continues. And in the event that it doesn't, they gave us something of an ending, the "Casablanca" resolution where our hero loses the girl and finds happiness in a male friendship. The spoof of traditional wedding vows, followed by one last "wait for it" from Barney was a good note to go out on in the event things go horribly wrong with renewal.

(Speaking of which, everything I'm hearing on that score is positive, but I won't know for sure until Lox With Les tomorrow morning. I'll have a spoonful of scrambled eggs at the ready in the event my worst nightmare is revealed on the schedule board.)

Some other thoughts:

• It was important that several episodes this season established how much Barney cared about Marshall and Lily getting married, because it made his negative opinion of Ted and Robin feel much less biased. He's not opposed to all couples, just this couple. (Then again, maybe he just doesn't want his wingman attached, no matter to who.)
  
• I felt for Marshall and Lily in their hunger, but they have no one to blame but themselves. When Marian and I got hitched, I had a private discussion with the caterer to make sure I would get an opportunity to sample the food -- and sure enough, moments after we made our triumphant entrance into the cocktail room as Man And Wife, the caterer sidled up to me with a sundae from the mashed potato station. The best advice I can give any couple who are getting married is to make sure they carve out five minutes in the reception to eat.
  
• A few weeks ago, my buddy Rich Heldenfels waxed rhapsodic about the way the "HIMYM" writers like to play with time, and they were at it again here, not just jumping back to explain the spaghetti stains, but to show Lily compiling her list of bad wedding cliches to avoid. Most shows would have done that scene weeks ago in the build-up to the main event, but because "HIMYM" has established this Billy Pilgrim narrative style, they could put it in right next to the appropriate follow-up joke.

So what did everybody else think? And should I offer to pay Les' dry-cleaning bill if eggs have to get tossed, or will I be too busy scraping myself off the sidewalk outside CBS HQ to care at that point? Click here to read the full post

Upfront Watch: ABC

I'll get to last night's "HIMYM" and "Heroes" in a bit, but ABC just wrapped up their upfront press conference, so I'll do some quick analysis of that. If you have a PDF reader, you can read the whole press release here, but I'll put in the basic schedule after the jump...

MONDAY: 8:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars”
9:30 p.m. “Sam I Am” (new comedy series)
10:00 p.m. “The Bachelor”

TUESDAY: 8:00 p.m. “Cavemen” (new comedy series)
8:30 p.m. “Carpoolers” (new comedy series)
9:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m. “Boston Legal”

WEDNESDAY: 8:00 p.m. “Pushing Daisies” (new drama series)
9:00 p.m. “Private Practice” (new drama series)
10:00 p.m. “Dirty Sexy Money” (new drama series)

THURSDAY: 8:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m. “Big Shots” (new drama series)

FRIDAY: 8:00 p.m. “MEN IN TREES”
9:00 p.m. “Women’s Murder Club” (new drama series)
10:00 p.m. “20/20”

SATURDAY: 8:00 p.m. “Saturday Night College Football”

SUNDAY: 7:00 p.m. “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m. “Desperate Housewives”
10:00 p.m. “Brothers & Sisters”

“Cashmere Mafia,” “Notes from the Underbelly” and “October Road” will premiere after “Dancing with the Stars” and “The Bachelor” conclude their fall seasons.

So, some initial thoughts:

• Once again, ABC is throwing a ton of new product on in the fall, despite being one of the stronger networks. It shows how much of their strength is concentrated in a handful of shows, primarily on Sunday, Monday and Thursday. Programming three original dramas on the same night -- even if one of them is a "Grey's Anatomy" spin-off -- is a really risky move.
  
• Of all ABC's pre-existing comedies, who woulda thunk that "Notes from the Underbelly" would be the only survivor? McPherson said "Knights of Prosperity" came close to renewal, but they couldn't find a place for it. On the plus side, "According to Jim" is now dead, dead, DEAD. With the much better "King of Queens" having gone off the air last night, is this the last we'll see of the "Fat oaf with hot wife" sitcom?
  
• "Private Practice" is still a lousy title, but no worse, I suppose, than "Boston Legal."
  
• I'm not as big a Bryan Fuller fan as some (I've liked his work on other people's shows, like the "Company Man" episode of "Heroes," but "Wonderfalls" and "Dead Like Me" both felt like they were trying too hard), but "Pushing Daisies" sounds cool. And I'll watch anything Chris Titus does at least once (except maybe "Killer Klowns from Outer Space"), which means "Big Shots" will be near the top of my pilot pile when it arrives.
• Either the scathing Ain't It Cool? review of "Cavemen" was way off, or this is a situation where McPherson feels the name recognition is too great to not try. Of course, that way lies "Emeril."
  
• I like Christina Applegate, but neither "Help Me Help You" nor "Big Day" did well airing after "Dancing" in the fall. I don't know that reality shows are good lead-ins to comedies -- but then, ABC has no returning comedies on the fall schedule to use as lead-ins.
  

Talk amongst yourselves. Gotta write up the two "H" shows. Click here to read the full post

Upfront Watch: NBC

NBC's first in the rotation to announce their schedule during Upfront Week. You can read the full release here, but I'll post the basic schedule and some quick thoughts after the jump, before I have to hop on a conference call with Reilly and Zucker...

NBC PRIMETIME SCHEDULE FOR FALL 2007-08

*New programs in CAPS (with the exception of "ER")

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
9-10 p.m. "Heroes"
10-11 p.m. "JOURNEYMAN"

TUESDAY
8-9 p.m. "The Biggest Loser"
9-10 p.m. "CHUCK"
10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
9-10 p.m. "BIONIC WOMAN"
10-11 p.m. "LIFE"

THURSDAY
8-8:30 p.m. "My Name Is Earl"
8:30-9 p.m. "30 Rock"
9-9:30 p.m. "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m. "Scrubs"
10-11 p.m. "ER"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. "1 vs 100"/"THE SINGING BEE"
9-10 p.m. "Las Vegas"
10-11 p.m. "Friday Night Lights"

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
9-11 p.m. Drama Series Encores

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)
7-8 p.m. "Football Night in America"
8-11 p.m. "NBC Sunday Night Football"

SUNDAY (January 2008)
7-8 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
8-9 p.m. "Law & Order"
9-10 p.m. "Medium"
10-11 p.m. "LIPSTICK JUNGLE"

Some initial thoughts:

• While I'm glad they renewed "Friday Night Lights" (I think; see my concerns in the season finale post), a Friday timeslot is a guarantee the show won't ever expand its audience. A lot of teenagers are out in general, and fans of high school football in particular are out at actual high school football games. So dumping the show here -- and at a fairly late hour for what's, for the most part, a family show -- is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe this was the only way Reilly could get permission to bring it back, by putting it in a timeslot where nothing's expected of it.
• I love the Thursday comedy bloc, but it's been in the tank for months, and the only real change is the swap of "30 Rock" and "The Office." Les Moonves is gonna have a field day with this at the CBS upfront.
• Also, they're doing 30 total half-hours of "The Office" (including five one-hour episodes), 25 "My Name Is Earl"s and a combined 30 episodes of "Heroes" and a quasi spin-off called "Heroes: Origins" designed to introduce new characters outside the flow of the regular storylines. An interesting way to combat reruns, but I worry that the creative teams on these shows are going to burn themselves out doing so many. ("The Office" has shown that there's close to an hour of material in a regular episode anyway, so it's the additional half-hour episodes I'm concerned about, I guess.)
• "Law & Order" gets saved for mid-season, even though they ordered 22 episodes, and there's no word on where "Criminal Intent" will air after its initial runs on USA -- or what the casts of both the mothership and "CI" will look like.
• I've heard good things about "Chuck" (plus it's Josh Schwartz, so I'm kind of obligated to watch), and I'll watch anything with Damian Lewis in it, so "Life" will go to the top of the Pilot Watch pile when it arrives. "Bionic Woman" could be interesting, though how much of the genius of "Battlestar Galactica" is Ron Moore (not involved here) and how much is David Eick?

What does everybody else think?

Click here to read the full post

Sopranos Rewind: Kennedy and Heidi

Due to some deadline issues, my latest "Sopranos" column is online-only, which means I can publish and link to the NJ.com version right away. Not even going to excerpt any of it here, because this one is a spoiler mine-field. There's lots to talk about, so get to it in the comments. Click here to read the full post

L&O mothership question

For anyone who's a more regular watcher of "Law & Order" Coke Classic than I am, can you remember the show ever opening with a scene of the murder victim before he or she dies? Because the season (and possibly series) finale does that, and it's certainly the first time I remember them doing it. ("Criminal Intent" obviously does it a lot, but its structure is different.) Click here to read the full post

The Office: Fire, walk with me

Spoilers for "The Office" coming right up...

Way to go, Pammy! Oh, wait, I forgot I'm not supposed to call you Pammy. Anyway, not only did you finally find the courage to confront the office in general and Jim in particular about how lonely you've been this season, but you saved what had until that point been one of this season's weaker episodes.

The early scenes had promise: Meredith accidentally flashing the camera, Toby's look of despair at the news that he would miss Pam in a bikini (not that any of us saw that) and the cross-cutting between him alone in the office and the group singalong of "The Gambler," Kevin's declaration that "I just want to sit on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted," etc.

But once we got to Lake Scranton and Michael started doing the world's worst Jeff Probst impersonation, the humor got very strained (with brief exceptions like Stanley's speech, Oscar's contemplation of heterosexuality, Dwight failing to tell The Aristocrats joke, or Team Voldemort's chant). I just kept waiting for Phyllis to pull Michael aside and do her "Don't think, just tell me who you want to replace you" trick so he could say "Jim" and we could all move on to something else.

But then came Pam's speech, and I'm sure every Jam'ers heart grew two times as big after hearing that bit of courage. A very nice moment for Jenna Fischer, and something that needed to happen already. I'm not ready to lose Karen yet, even though I imagine she's a shoo-in for the corporate job, but I miss Pam and Jim having fun, too, whether or not they ever really try dating.

What did everybody else think? And do any of you know all the words to the "Flintstones" theme's second verse? Click here to read the full post

Don't just stand there...

Quick spoilers for "Scrubs" and the "Earl" finale coming right up...

A very frustrating "Scrubs," I thought. I feel like the writers put the J.D./Elliott thing permanently to rest around the time he made her dump Scott Foley, so having him get jealous again seems both tired and out of character. If it was just J.D. being envious that all of his friends and colleagues are paired off while he's still alone, that'd be one thing, but this is more Elliott-specific, and that doesn't work. Also, while I love Elizabeth Banks elsewhere, the writers haven't known what to do with her since her first appearance, so I'm not too excited to have Kim back.

Kelso as a pimp was funny, and the Old M.C. joke was one of those Letterman things that started off vaguely funny, got beaten into the ground, then somehow became funny again about 10 minutes later. Dr. Toilet, on the other hand? Never funny, especially not stretched out to a length previously reserved only for J.D.'s Floating Head Doctor fantasies. Yikes.

Meanwhile, "My Name Is Earl" ends its second season with an interesting cliffhanger: Earl's in prison (with Ralph as his cellie), with The List and his newfound adulthood all locked away from him. Does season three turn into some kind of extended "Oz" parody, do the writers do a "Galactica" time jump to Earl getting released and back to his criminal ways, or does he escape and run to Mexico to hang with John Leguizamo?

This wasn't my favorite episode of the season (though Randy's "WOO-HOO!!!! ROBBING THE DEAF!!!!" was a highlight), but I have to give Greg Garcia and the other writers props for their willingness to shake up the season one formula, to have Bad Earl occasionally creep into the present-day action, to occasionally make The List be besides the point, etc. It's been a much less predictable, and usually funnier season, even though the ratings don't reflect that. (I blame the move to 8 o'clock, a timeslot that's becoming increasingly tough on all scripted TV.)

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Lost: He seems to have an invisible touch

"Lost" spoilers coming up just as soon as I enter the Frito-Lay Sweepstakes enough times to ensure I'll win thirty-two point six percent of the prizes, including the car...

This episode right here, folks, this is the reason I stick with this show through the stupid love quadrangles and tattoo flashbacks and characters stubbornly refusing to display any intellectual curiosity. Because this? This was awesome. I don't know that it made a lot of sense, but I was more engaged, more pumped up, writing more of my notes in all-caps (including several "BEN PWNED!" notations) than I have in a long time. Easily my favorite of the season, and one of my favorite "Lost" episodes ever.

Start with Locke turning Ben into his little puppet for most of the episode. It's about damn time that somebody started outthinking Ben, and our nutbar Luddite blower-upper is just the guy to do it. Sure, Ben got over on him at the end, but for the first 50 or so minutes, it was just wonderful to see Ben squirming and dancing to someone else's tune -- and to see all The Others completely afraid of getting on this crazy bald guy's bad side. The Bakunin beatdown was lovely, especially since the explanation for his survival was less interesting than expected (and suggests Kate doesn't know how to take a pulse).

Now, I'm going to be really disappointed if Locke is actually dead, both because Terry O'Quinn rules and because the character is so central to the island's mystique, but I'll believe he's dead when we've gone a whole other season without him popping up again. Yes, Libby died of a similar wound, but we've been told before that Locke is "special" (in the same way that Rose is), and the writers didn't dump him in an open grave for nothing.

I'm really annoyed with myself for having, in my jet-lagged state, hit the delete button on my DVR as soon as I finished the episode, because I had intended to go straight back to the cabin scene to see if a high-def image on pause would be able to reveal what "Jacob" looks like. Because there was definitely one split-second where you could see someone in the rocking chair (right after Ben says "You've had your fun" and gets shoved away), and the picture on ABC.com's streaming video isn't nearly good enough. The idea that the only person on the island capable of giving real answers is a ghostly figure most of us will never be able to see or hear seems an appropriate metaphor for the "Lost" viewing experience, and that entire sequence was so nuts that it worked.

So much going on in this episode that I feel like I have to move to bullet points quickly to get this thing posted at a reasonable time:

• For those who didn't get the reference at the top of this post, run, do not walk, to your nearest video retailer (or Netflix queue) and get ahold of "Real Genius," one of the most quotable comedies of the '80s, featuring Ben's dad as Lazlo Hollyfeld, a damaged genius who lives in the steam tunnels underneath his old college dorm.
• Speaking of poor Roger, I didn't make the connection between Ben's dad and the skeleton in Hurley's magic bus at first, but it finally clicked for me when I saw him drunk on the Dharma beer on his couch. "Tricia Tanaka Is Dead" takes on some new meaning now, as does Ben's insistence that Locke had to kill his father to join their group, just as Ben himself did years before.
• Biggest WTF moment of the episode: Young Ben meeting Richard, not looking a day younger than he does now, in the jungle. Are all the Hostiles immortal, and that's why Richard thinks fertility experiments are a waste of time? What percentage of the Others are from Richard's native group and what percentage were brought to the island later like Juliet?
• And do animals on the island age? Is young Ben's bunny the same one he used to run the defribilator con on Sawyer? Clearly, he has no problem with animal experimentation.
• I don't think we've seen the last of Mr. and Mrs. Goodspeed, as I can't imagine the producers hiring Doug Hutchison and Samantha Mathis for such small parts without more plans down the line.
• I have to say, I'm kind of annoyed that Jack has been secretly plotting with Juliet to beat Ben. I was really hoping the writers had finally recognized what a liability their "hero" was and were planning to have the other characters shun him, or else kill him outright. Instead, just at the moment he's being doubted the most, he comes up with some stupid plan that will no doubt save everyone's hash and make him their unquestioned savior for the rest of the series. And Jack's reason for not cluing in everyone sooner? Pure writers' contrivance to set up this false tension.
• Was Richard more impressed that young Ben saw his mother, or that he heard her? And which of our past apparitions have spoken? Dave doesn't count, as he was always a figment of Hurley's imagination, and Kate's horse is obviously out. But what about Eko's brother or Jack's dad? Is there a hierarchy of specialness on the island?

I'm just happy to have an episode that allows me to ask so many questions, even if I doubt we'll get adequate answers to many of them, 48 final episodes plan or no 48 final episodes plan. For too much of this season, there hasn't even been anything worth speculating about.

What did everybody else think?

Click here to read the full post

American Idol: Top 4 results

Thoughts on the predictable results are over at NJ.com, but you can talk about the show here. Click here to read the full post