Tomorrow's column is going to briefly discuss the "House" season finale (due to scheduling issues, it was the one prominent finale I didn't write up in the paper, and some readers asked about it), and in casting my mind back to it -- specifically, to Elias Koteas' role as House's shooter -- I returned to one of my favorite time-wasting games: People Who Should Work Together Who Haven't.
The fact that Koteas and Chris Meloni have yet to play long-lost siblings in a movie or TV show just saddens me. (When Koteas popped up in the "Conviction" pilot, I was excited by the prospect of the inevitable "Conviction"/"SVU" cross-over. Then they killed him, the bastards.) They look so much alike and have such a similarly intense acting style; why has no one made this happen?
Similarly, when the hell is Hollywood going to acknowledge the demand for a Keith David/David Keith buddy action movie? Come on. Race aside, they're essentially the same actor, and the names confuse the hell out of everybody. (In one of my favorite IMDb errors of all time, since fixed, both were listed with the same birthdate.) Ideally, Alan Ball would have cast them on "Six Feet Under" as a gay couple who befriend David and Keith, but that ship has sailed. It's not too late to do some kind of straight-to-video flick where they take on the Chinese mob, is it?
So today's open thread: which two actors have you always wanted to see together, and why?
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
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This winter... From Paramount... Sam Elliott, Sam Shephard, Ed Harris and Tommy Lee Jones are... "Craggy Old Men."
Retired tough guys sit around and whisper about their pasts until they're brought out of retirement to avenge the death of their old friend -- played in flashbacks by Clint Eastwood, who also directs.
The only thing I know is that the movie won't look good in hi-def.
1) Parker Posey & Ione Skye
2) Ben Kingsley & Patrick Stewart
3) Grab any 2 William Shatners, as long as they're from 2 different decades
4) George Clooney & Aaron Sorkin (ok, so this isn't the homework, but I just think it would be cool...)
Speaking of Parker Posey, I spent the whole of Seabiscuit trying to figure out whether Elizabeth Banks was her or not.
Anyway, to get back to the topic, Kristen Bell & Alison Mack come to mind.
Any combination of Mary Lynn Rajskub, Liza Weil, and Charisma Carpenter in a bitch-off.
And in terms of opposites styles playing off each other, a Meloni-Terry O'Quinn combination could work very well.
I want to see a series where John Terry and Robert John Burke play cops, except we never see them investigate crimes, we just see them shooting the shit with each other for an hour a week on their way to and from crime scenes.
Lee Lee Sobieski, with Helen Hunt as her mother (or older sister)...
Kate Winslet, with Olivia deHavilland as her grandmother (why didn't Olivia play Old Rose in Titanic?)......
Oooh. Devin, could we get Parker Posey, Ione Skye and Mary Louise Parker together on a talk show where they debate the events of the world with flat, ironic detachment? That'd rock!
Ben Kingsley and Patrick Stewart are both (way younger) in a 70's stage to BBC version of Antony & Cleopatra for the Royal National Theatre or the RSC or something like that. I watched in a high school English class, but I can't remember if they are together in scenes or anything.
I'm surprised it took until now to mention: Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman, just to clear up the confusion once and for all (as I'm assuming few of us have seen their one previous collaboration, "Brain Dead").
Here's a disturbing one I thought of many years ago. Gary Busey and Jerry Van Dyke as father and son. Well, son and father. Either way, it's scary.
1. Tom Selleck and Mark Harmon (maybe with David James Elliott? On a Donald P. Bellisario show?)
2. William Petersen and Gary Sinese.
3. Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan.
4. Meg Tilley and Jennifer Tilley.
5. Ted Raimi and Joshua Malina.
I thought Teri Garr as Lisa Kudrow's mom on Friends was pretty spot on.
Erika Christensen and Julia Stiles
I remember thinking that Ed Cavanaugh just had to play Zach Braff's brother on Scrubs (are we sure they're not really brothers?). I was awfully (inordinately, one might say) proud of myself when it actually happened!
Also, I always thought Adam Arkin should have played David Schwimmer's father on Friends.
Skeet Ulrich and Johnny Depp playing opposite Kiera Knightley and Winona Ryder in a love quadrangle/comedy of errors.
Jon Stewart should play the oldest Dorian brother on "Scrubs."
Kiera Knightley and Natalie Portman.
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