I never clone alone

Meanwhile, in an attempt to prove I can still occasionally write about shows that don't involve mobsters eating sushi (is that anything like gay cowboys eating pudding?), I finally put some "American Idol" thoughts into print, mainly focusing on the eerie similarities between this year's finalists and past contestants. Here's the opener:

KELLIE PICKLER is going to win "American Idol."

Or maybe not.

At this point, I should probably give up guessing how 12- to 14-year-old girls are going to text- message for two hours straight. But with this year's "Idol" finals kicking off tomorrow night at 8 on Channel 5, I feel like I have to make some kind of prediction. Kellie's an easy one, because she already won last year.

Of course, her name back then was Carrie Underwood, and she had a stronger voice but wasn't quite as willing to play up the farm girl in the biiiiiig city shtick. But essentially, you have two smiling, shiny, wholesome blondes with twang in their voices and inoffensively bland personalities.

To read the rest, click here.