Wednesday, December 02, 2009

'Steven Seagal: Lawman' review - Sepinwall on TV

In today's column, I review the unintentional comedy goodness that is "Steven Seagal: Lawman." I think you better dial 911, then tune in to enjoy.

29 comments:

Blair Waldorf said...

OMG, this sounds amazing. Does this seriously exist? I can not wait!

Anonymous said...

Tread lightly, Alan. For Steven Seagal will not hesitate to destroy you if he believes you are taunting him.

Adam said...

Seagal also regularly appears on any list of the worst and least-liked-by-the-cast guest hosts in SNL history, and as far as that On Deadly Ground speech it's even worse than you remember.

Popkin said...

Dear God, it's Dwight Schrute: The Television Series.

Alan Sepinwall said...

Dear God, it's Dwight Schrute: The Television Series.

Oh. My. God. It is! That hadn't even occurred to me, but that's exactly what it is.

Eric said...

I seem to remember reading in Spy that Seagal got his start in movies because he was somebody's Aikido instructor - either Eisner or Ovitz. Is that true?

I don't think I want to give an hour a week to this, but I hope that Joel McHale gives it a good 2 minutes.

dez said...

I pegged Seagal as a comedy star when "Above the Law" came out. His movies are hilariously bad. I remember seeing "Executive Decision" and the audience cheering when he died, too.

Having said that (TM LD), I probably won't be watching his new series. I'm sure it's very funny, but I don't know that I can take his ego or his mumbling any more.

M.Chavez said...

It was Ovitz.

eac said...

I am going to agree with Eric and say that I can't wait for Joel McHale to tackle this on The Soup. I feel like the writers on that show see things like this and determine that their job is fabulous.

Hatfield said...

In the early 90s my brothers and I would watch all the terrible horror movies that the local channel 13 (which would eventually become UPN) would show constantly, and the one we loved the most was The Nest. Something about killer bugs, but the funniest part was late in the movie, when the wise old hero is trying desperately to close the bathroom door to stop the bugs, and the heroine is screaming, and he inexplicably darts into the bathroom, shouting "Save yourself!" as he slams the door. Seriously, we laughed forever.

The point? The first time I saw Executive Decision, that scene was all I could think about when Seagal died, and I laughed for the next twenty minutes, earning many disapproving glares. To this day I still can't take it seriously. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to this show.

J said...

Time to bump JCVD up my Netflix queue and enjoy a gin-soaked double feature of over-the-hill oblivio-awesomeness.

Noodles said...

Any chance that A&E signed off on this with full knowledge of the unintentional comedy potential?

gina said...

I cannot WAIT for this.

Anonymous said...

This sounds great!

Karen said...

Oh, wow. I'd been seeing references to this on Twitter and was sure it was a joke. I mean, it is, but I thought it didn't really exist...

Nicole said...

I was thinking of JCVD while reading this review, and having watched that film it's clear that Van Damme at least gets the joke on some level. Apparently Seagal doesn't. This does sound like a fun watch though.

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if the title of Timothy Olyphant's FX series was changed to "Justified" because of this.

Ingrid said...

You're my hero, Alan. That has got to be the best characterization of SS ever.

Sharon J said...

I refused to go and see Executive Decision until I learned that Seagal died early on, Now when I watch it, I rarely watch the Segal portion. Despite the evident potential for hilarity, I don't think I'll be tuning in for this. He's just too creepy!

Muz said...

I read the intro and said to myself "How can anything called Steven Seagal: Lawman in his day and age be unintentional comedy? ...unless"
-Produced by Steven Seagal
Oh, it's almost too perfect.

I hope the crew is in on the absurdity. I seem to recall Paula Abdul had a lot to do wth her show, but that didn't seem to stop the director or editor from getting plenty of mockery into it.

Dave Weldon said...

PVR'd a couple of episodes tonight and tried to watch one, couldn't do it, it did answer the question about who ate all the donuts though.

Simon H. said...

Pure unintentional comic gold from beginning to end. I love reality shows that are earnest and try to portray themselves without a trace of irony, and yet are dripping with it. His zen ramblings throughout the episodes are as priceless as they are absolute nonsense.

NoMoreVegas said...

I for one, am eagerly awaiting the A&E crossover series "Steven Seagal: Lawman-Hoarders" where he is sent to hoarder's homes in Jefferson Parish to apply his martial arts techniques to mentally disturbed crazy cat ladies.

dez said...

So I decided to watch a little anyway (needed something lighter after watching the SoA season finale), and...damn, that was funny. Not funny enough to watch every week, but when I need a stress reliever, I'll be tuning in. He is SUCH an idjit galoot. I mean, a ZEN idjit galoot :-D

G.H. said...

Rip it as much as you want, but I actually liked the show. He's a pretty good shot, and at least he uses his gifts for real, unlike all those other action stars of the 80s. Sure, he can't act, and he's overweight, but he's got a better gig than Jan Michael Vincent or Val Kilmer. Remember those action / hunk / wannabees?

Travis said...

Thanks to my martial arts training I watched 2 episodes back to back last night, and thanks to my martial arts training I was able to both watch the show AND cook a dinner that any Zen Master would have been proud of (rice and fish).

I was also, thanks to my martial arts training, able to spot dirty dishes which I loaded into the dishwasher with the mastery of a martial artist.

Anonymous said...

Ha HA thats funny I was a reserve officer myself in a poor crime ridden area and I saw more action than this..so far other than him trainning and shooting what did he do....Nothing talked to 2 guys chase after someone..nope
put a beat down on someone...nope
and every cop can spot things out of place nothing speical steven try working for dept of corrections you beter know what is right or what is not their.
seems more of a huge commerical for himself i failed to see how he acualy contrubited to any situation on the patrol side of it. Stay in trainning you are more effective their and zen master or not your not going to stop a bullet and most gang bangers in this area will aim at your head if they see you have a vest on.

Anonymous said...

OK maybe it's just my politics, but that "On Deadly Ground" speech didn't seem so ridiculous at least in content. For fiction it's super corny, yes, but those sorts of things are actually said at gatherings like that. And the presentation... well, it's Steven Seagal.

cc95437 said...

... I can't wait till next week.,, It's so bad it's good!,, Call me bored, but I say,, "two thumbs up"