Last night, I watched every play of the Giants-Panthers pre-season game. Every single one. (And don't forget that you can read The Star-Ledger's fine team coverage of it here.) Now, I was watching it on a DVR delay so I could skip through the commercials, but I still stuck through every play, and nearly every bit of analysis and/or banter from the revamped "Monday Night Football" team (where Jon Gruden is a massive improvement over Tony Kornheiser, much as I love Tony on "PTI"). I did this even though I have plenty of DVD screeners to watch (right now, the first few episodes of Sons of Anarchy are burning a hole in my bag), and even though most of the Giants starters were, true to form for pre-season game number one, done by the start of the second quarter. But I stuck through the whole thing because I'm football-starved, and because I wanted to see how all the Giants' young wide receivers did in the quest to replace Plaxico and Amani (short answer: none of the backup QBs were playing well enough, and/or had good enough protection, to get them the ball).
But even after the amusing end, where Tommie Hill saved everyone from having to suffer through overtime, I said to myself, "Why on Earth did I sit through all of that?"
So here's today's open question for all of you: what's something you watched over the past few months that you couldn't really justify even as you couldn't stop watching, and that left you at the end realizing that you'd never get those minutes/hours of your life back?
NOTE: Don't be shy about admitting what it was. There will be no judging allowed by me or anyone else in the comments. If it makes you feel better, I watched "Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami" the other night.
81 comments:
We rented the movie "Spartan" a couple weeks ago.
It looked promising. The cast included Val Kilmer, William H. Macy, Kristin Bell, Derek Luke; it was written and directed by David Mamet. Seemed worth a rental.
I have never sat through a bigger piece of sh!t. Stilted, cliche-ridden dialogue, with a formulaic plot, and wooden performances all around. Just awful.
100 minutes of my life that I will never get back.
We found ourselves switching back and forth to "Busted and Disgusted" on the Fox Reality Channel the other night during commercials on whatever we were really watching. Like slowing down as you drive by an accident scene.
Something made me want to watch "Race to Witch Mountain" - maybe because I somehow like Dwayne Johnson or because AnnaSophia Robb was great in "Bridge to Terabithia"... I should have known better. It was uninspired and bare of a single fresh idea. A sloppy script that probably was written during a lunch break; nothing could have safed it.
The biggest time-waster however was "Transformers 2" which was so utterly bad that I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. Well, you get what you pay for!
Sorry, I was too busy with CMM to watch much of anything, but I did have NBC's Great American Road Trip playing in the background before we started. Can't believe I watched all of that.
Found myself watching Suite Life of Zack and Cody because my daughter had it on the other day. Never. again.
Every single Saturday Night Creature Feature movie on the Sci-Fi channel. Ask me again in a few more months, and my answer will be the same.
The last season of 24. I should have called it quits when you did, but for some reason I kept going.
Probably True Blood, which is a pretty bad show which has some great bits mixed in there.
I watched the entire first season of Torchwood when it first aired. There's 13 hours I'd like back...
Epic Movie was on Comedy Central yesterday.
I wanted to walk away.
I needed to walk away.
But Lord, Jayma Mays is adorable.
"Gigantic," the Paul Dano/Zooey Deschanel movie. There aren't two consecutive lines in that movie that could have come from a real human interaction.
The biggest crime: casting Clarke Peters as Dano's co-worker in a building that from certain angles, looks like the Major Crime Unit's office.
Fox News...
To be serious, I can't believe I made it through The Hangover. My friends told me that I needed to see it and when it got to the end, I wished I'd gone home with my husband after District 9, which also wasn't that great.
I spent an entire Sunday watching The Jacksons: An American Dream. Start to finish. The. Whole. Thing. In one sitting. I'm still a little miffed at those lost hours, but I just couldn't make myself turn it off and do something else.
I came across Lifetime Movie Channel a few months ago, and got involved in one of those "woman marries man who might be trying to kill her" movies. It was late and I was too tired to watch the last half, so I recorded it and watched the rest the next day.
I also watched every minute of the first season of Tough Love on VH-1.
Iron Chef - Battle Corn!
I just watched all four episodes of defying gravity. Apparently Ron Livingston has some hypnotic power over me My gosh is it bad.
/ Can't wait until a new one next week
And continuing with the preseason football theme, I watched the full Jags/Dolphins game last night, but i make no apologies for that one.
I'm still, for reasons I can't explain, watching Entourage. Every week after it's over, I say, "that's it, I can't take one more minute of this." And every week I end watching the next episode. This season is so boring, I can't believe anyone would waste 30 minutes of their life watching it. And I keep watching! HELP!!!
Watched the last hour of The Hulk a few nights ago simply because I was curious to see how bad Tim Roth's "Abomination" was going to look. It did not disappoint. Perhaps I missed some virtuoso performances in the first 45 minutes, but jeebus did that movie stink.
The last Mummy movie with Jet Li as the bad guy. It was on when we put the kids to bed, and I kind of half watched the first 30 minutes. The wife and I then got into bed and, inexplicably, we continued to watch this piece of crap. Worst movie I've seen in years, and I knew it while I was watching it. The next morning I went out and bought the first season of Mad Men to make amends.
@Rick: I can't believe you made it through Epic Movie; that takes guts.
I sat through Akeelah and the Bee (seemingly a cheesy movie version of Spellbound) on Sunday, and realised when it got to a 'the Crenshaw community helps her practice her spelling' montage, which included the local tough guy/gangster, that I would never get those 2 hours back.
Also, season 3 of Skins, clock watched through every episode. I still have 2 eps to go on my dvr from 5 months ago!
This and I have serious dvr guilt as its still 65% full of stuff I need to watch!
I was going to say I sat through all of the last Mummy movie, but then I remembered I also sat through 9/10 of Step Up 2. I fell asleep before the last 10 minutes and still don't care how it ends. Also, last weekend, was watching Disney with the toddler and after Playhouse Disney didn't change it so ended up watching some OLD Disney TV movie about a set of twins making it to the WNBA and I couldn't turn away even though I knew they made it to college and to the WNBA.
For some strange reason, I keep getting drawn in by Fox's "More to Love."
I shouldn't watch, but yet I keep getting drawn back in. And I keep going--I should really switch this off and not watch any more....and then I will stay all the way to the end of each episode.
Several episodes of Secret Life of the American Teenager. For some reason my wife really likes it, but the acting is awful, the story lines are beyond contrived, and even Molly Ringwald can't make me like it.
The Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly POS Step Brothers. About 20 minutes in I realized it was terrible and contemplated quitting. I convinced myself it would get better.
At the end I really, really, REALLY wished I had stopped 20 minutes in and said, out loud, to myself "Well, that's 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back." What a terrible movie.
If no one will admit it, then I will:
The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Multiple episodes. In a row.
I've been watching Merlin...and I have no idea why...its been a long, dry tv summer
I got sucked into watching 16 & Pregnant on MTV... one Saturday when they ran 5 of them. Then got sucked into tuning into the finale. And then sucked into watching the "after show" hosted by Dr. Drew.
What I learned from my viewing is that teenage girls have not gotten any smarter... than they were when I was in high school.
Still getting knocked up thinking it will get them a husband. Or make a wild boy calm down. Ugh. Oh... and most of the teenage girls were pregnant by boys older than 20.
But my real shame is the Tiny and Toya Show on BET.
On Sunday I killed an hour watching "This Week With George Stephanapoulos" with the provocatively named Jake Tapper sitting in as our host.
I knew we were in for a long hour when the dueling Senators discussing health care featured Arlen Specter as spokesgeezer for the Democrats, squaring off against Orrin Hatch. Lots of talk about Death Panels and angry Town Halls, not much substance.
By the time the roundtable wound down with the 40-ish Tapper whining "Woodstock? What was the big deal?" and the baby-boomer journalist Ron Brownstein opined that the reason it 'resonated' was because apparently nothing else much was going on that summer of '69, I knew I had totally wasted time that could have been better spent, I dunno, cleaning the garage, or scouring failblog.org. Or something.
Last Thursday I had a double whammie: started watching Food Network's Chefography of Giada, recorded that while I watched all of the Eagles-Pats game, then finished watching Chefography.
I don't even like Giada! She looks like a creepy imitation Natalie Portman and her story isn't interesting because she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.
Also, I watched all of this while I still had the un-watched summer finale of Burn Notice on my DVR. For shame.
This is both on-topic (football) and off-topic (bad shows)...but as a football-starved tv critic/reviewer, why not give some live to what is perhaps the greatest non-scripted show in television history, Hard Knocks (HBO)?
I read through your Sports Night recaps last night and felt myself jonesing for some Sorkin. I don't have Sports Night OR West Wing.
But Studio 60 was on hulu.
What a terrible mistake I made.
Pineapple Express. Started off watching it with a full room, and gradually all but two of us wandered off. I don't know why we stuck around. There are two hours I'll never see again.
I watched every single episode of "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here." ... My co-workers and I watch a lot of trash TV, but even I couldn't fess up to watching that.
Ugh I watched that Lindsay Lohan movie that went direct to Lifetime. I really was hoping that the combined effects of Chris Parnell and Cheryl Hines would make the movie ok... but no, I was wrong. I left the viewing with 13 minutes left in the movie, because sitting in a cab in traffic was more appealing than finding out how it ended.
At least you're a Giants fan, so watching the entire game last night makes some sense. Why was I, a Browns fan in Ohio, still watching after 11 last night? Of course, the ending was a decent payoff. Talk about football-starved, I guess...
The show I record and watch every week, and then wonder why I record and watch it every week, is In Plain Sight.
District 9 this weekend. I would have walked out within a half hour but I was there with my husband and he wanted to stay. I wish I had just waited in the car. I hated it that much.
On a lighter and cheesier note, I have watched not only Princess Diaries, but the awful Princess Diaries 2.
The other day I watched The Last Dragon pretty much beginning to end. I was absolutely stunned - STUNNED - to see William H. Macy in it. There was nothing else on so I figured I'd let the TV watch me, as my mother is fond of saying. I ended up paying more attention than I care to admit.
Sam, "The Last Dragon" is an entertainingly trashy movie, if for no other reason than Julius Carry as Sho'Nuff (the Shogun of Harlem).
Plus, the end of the "Chuck" season two finale totally ripped off the "Who's the one and only master?" scene, so I consider it recommended viewing for readers of this blog.
Serendipity. I was on a flight somewhere and this was the movie they were showing.
And I remember at the end thinking even though I was trapped on a plane with nothing else to do there must have been something, anything better than watching this movie.
The Nanny Diaries. It was late at night, and nothing was on, and I figured "meh, at least I can ogle ScarJo." For some reason I kept watching rather than trying to , you know, sleep. What is wrong with me?
I hope the neighbors don't hear about this but I've watched two episodes of "Toddlers and Tiaras". I hang my head in shame but I can't take my eyes off those deluded moms and in-the-closet dads who dress their spawn up like Tammy Faye Bakker.
Defying Gravity, but really the real secret here is that I am reading the twilight books. After the first one I thought this is lame and I don't really even like it, so three days later I had bought the second one on my kindle. And I am waiting for the other two to come to me from the holds I placed on them at the library. I still don't know why I am going to read them.
Love everyone airing their TV shame. Really, the worst thing that I watch regularly is that I know is awful but cannot stop myself from watching is Secret Life of the American Teenager. Seriously, the dialogue is unbelievably bad and I'm convinced that the writers have some sort of personal challenge to put a particular word of the week in each script as many times as possible. The repetition of dialogue is unbelievable. Every time I finish an episode, I am all "That was terrible, I will never get that time back." And yet...I always go back to it.
I watched this thing called Gillette Soccer Saturday in the UK for about 3 hours, because our football season just started as well. You probably have this kind of thing in America. About six expro footballers watch a different game each that you can't see on there own monitirs and scream at each other over any trifiling bit of action that for all you know is the product of a febrile imagination. Bad grammar. Dreadful puns. Utterly pointless, but didn't feel too guilty when I finally managed to switch it off. Because Telly is amazing.
Both of mine I really only watched because of my kids: G-Force 3-D. (And yes, I was disappointed it wasn't a movie version of Battle of the Planets/Science Ninja Gatchaman. Though I understand that is coming.)
And I've watched enough Zack and Cody to have opinions on which seasons/supporting cast members are better than the others. (I don't care what anybody says- I think Ashley Tisdale is genuinely talented and I hope she has a successful adult career.)
I recently got ahold of the first season of ED. Although I have a bunch of stuff I wanted to catch up on over the summer (Sons of Anarachy, two seasons of Mad Men) I keep working my way through Ed instead. I had completely forgot how strange it began, with the brief montage of the aborted first pilot. Has anyone ever seen the first pilot?
Alan,
I didn't even have to think about. "The Mutant Chronicles" is the worst movie I have ever seen. Historically bad, yet I couldn't rip my eyes away from the train wreck that was unfolding. It's not even the kind of bad where it's almost good. Just plain bad.
I can't believe I'm still watching Entourage. Alan, you opted out at exactly the right time. It's only gotten worse this season.
Someone mentioned Step Brothers. It's funny what perspective will do for you. I actually enjoyed Step Brothers when I saw it, but I watched it as a palate cleanser to Last Chance Harvey which was so poorly written and directed that even the efforts of the decorated actors involved couldn't save it.
Fun topic.
I have a couple.
First off, I keep watching "The T.O. Show" even though it's mostly about his shrewish harpy friends, but I love T.O. and I was so starved for football that I had to. Now that the preseason has started, I don't feel as compelled, but I'll probably continue to watch it.
I also watched every minute of Harper's Island. Yes, I was the one.
And finally, my husband and I and some friends decided it would be fun to watch what I can only assume was either a SyFy or straight-to-DVD movie called "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus". It starred Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas, and featured lots of scenes of people "doing science", which apparently involves mixing different colored liquids in beakers and test tubes. One of the friends I watched it with is actually a marine biologist, so it was amusing to watch her become more and more horrified at what was going on int he movie.
This wasn't recent, but my ultimate "I can't believe I watched that" was the movie "In the Cut". Afterwards the people I was it with and I said we all wished we'd walked out, but we all thought the others were into it. It was so painful. I feel even sorrier for my husband, who had to watch it again when he went to film school.
The past few months have been kind. The kids have outgrown or grown bored with a lot of the dreck they sometimes watched, and I've been doing theatre stuff which means little time for tv.
But in the last few years, name a Disney Channel sitcom, I've seen it. There are Zack and Cody episodes where I know the lines. (Some are easy to guess even the first time through.) And my wife has come to loathe the Backyardigans. (She already loathed Dora.)
Going back, the two movies I most regret seeing in the theatre are "The Sheltering Sky" and "The English Patient." Same friend dragged me to both, and the second time, I should've known better. After four hours of "English Patient," I looked at my watch and realized it had only been thirty minutes...
As for Iron Chef America's Battle Corn, the whole thing was redeemed by Mark Dacascos' line reading of the word "corn." We spent the rest of the night doing Sensei Ping jokes.
I have found myself watching marathons of past seasons of biggest loser or ANTM. Even if I've already seen them. It makes me sad that I do this.
Spiderman 3. What a god awful mess. Wasn't even entertaining. I couldn't turn it off, because I kept thinking "it has to get better. This is Sam Raimi!"
I watched a dreadful movie where William H. Macy goes crazy after Dule Hill beats him up and he winds up killing Julia Stiles.
It was fascinating how a movie with a cast like this could be so incredibly bad.
I'm with @Faye on Skins S3, which is joyless and nasty.
Dalton Ross agrees, by the way:
http://www.ny1.com/content/ny1_living/tv_reviews/104232/ew-tv-review---skins-/Default.aspx
Nothing much else in the last few months--other than the interminable and execrable film Exodus--but I will admit to my one foray into reality show viewing a couple of years back: Kept, with Jerry Hall.
I hope you're serious about not judging me, Alan, because this may be the first time I ever admitted that in public.
@ghoti, that movie was Edmond. I remember watching that a while back - mostly because I really like William H Macy - and just being shocked at how bizarre it was. I can't blame you for sticking around to the end, it was engrossing in the worst possible way.
The Deal with Meg Ryan and William H. Macy. There is two hours I would like back.
OT-Alan, you mentioned Sons Of Anarchy....I caught the pilot several weeks ago, late at night, on FX. Suffice to say, I am officially hooked. I've been watching or dvr'ing every episode on late Saturday nights. I am not quite sure yet what it is that I like about the show but I do like it, even when it becomes a bit too much.
Ok. I have to admit that I really, really enjoy Rock of Love. That said, Daisy of Love is god awful but I don't regret it because listening to that guy Fox talk ("just knowing the fact that...") with his soundtrack playing is just priceless. Megan Wants to Marry a Millionaire, on the other hand, has sucked up 3ish hours of my time now and lord how I'd like those hours back please...
The entire final season of Stargate Atlantis?
Watched the Meg Ryan flop "The Women" a few weeks back on cable. Wow, was that bad. Even a snarky Candice Bergen couldn't redeem it. Just awful.
I have no kids, no younger siblings, no real reason to be on Nickelodeon, but for some reason I watched two hours of iCarly. I guess it was the old sitcom feeling it gave me, like a Full House or Growing Pains. Might I add, this viewing session occurred the Saturday before I took the Bar exam. Anyone need representation?
90210. It's so bad, but i can't help myself!
I shouldn't, but i've already season passed season 2
I find myself sucked into Charmed reruns on TNT whenever I'm home for lunch, and it makes me feel bad.
Also, I recently babysat for a co-worker, and his kids kept it parked on Disney and Nickelodeon. I don't recall which channel it was on, but we watched what felt like a week's worth of episodes of iCarly, and I'm ashamed to admit that I started to find it funny by the end. Stockholm's syndrome, perhaps?
Whoa, how did I not notice that other iCarly reference? Might I add that it stars the bratty little girl from School of Rock, and age has made her no less annoying.
Watched "The Rocker" last night on Cinemax. I figured it would be awful but I wanted to give the man who plays Dwight Shrute a chance. Huge mistake. Poor Rainn. I nearly gave up several times but stuck until the end only because it was obvious Will Arnett and the other members of his original band would come back and I thought that might be funny. It wasn't.
Ashamed to say it since I'm a big sports fan, but I had that exact realization watching the ESPYs. I fast-forwarded through the DVR and at the end, I was like, "That's it?! Well, I won't get that hour and a half back."
It happened partially with the airings of The T.O. Show, which is just riddled with reality TV cliché upon cliché that it almost goes into self-parody territory (if T.O. weren't a parody himself already)
Paul Blart. Mall Cop. I couldn't...reach...the...stop...button...on the...remote. It had a strange power over me. When it was over, I felt shame.
I'm a cubs fan, so 'yes', I have spent several hours (hundreds? maybe thousands?) watching stupid baseball games that they were destined to lose... time I will never get back.
As for real shame, I've watched a few episodes of 'Don't Forget the Lyrics'. I have no idea why... I usually run screaming from those 'reality' contest shows where people humiliate themselves, but not this one.
I watched "Dating in the Dark" once when my husband was out of town and I was desperate to have something on the TV. It was really, really bad.
Is it my imagination or are there more "Anonymous" comments in this thread than is normal?
Shame is a powerful thing.
Bobman said...
@ghoti, that movie was Edmond. I remember watching that a while back - mostly because I really like William H Macy - and just being shocked at how bizarre it was. I can't blame you for sticking around to the end, it was engrossing in the worst possible way.
Yeah, after it was over I felt l queasy and really upset at myself for watching something that was not only awful, but made me feel terrible, too.
Damn, you WHM!!
Gran Torino. Now I love some Clint Eastwood, but that was one of the most heavy handed movies I have ever soon. Every line was cliche, the entire supporting cast was awful, and Clint was too far over the top. Like he turned around and developed a multi-camera sitcom.
Wow, no love for iCarly? I didn't consider that a guilty pleasure until now...anyway, Man v. Food. I should hate it, but I don't. I sort of think of it as a harbinger of societal doom and a sad commentary on what we consider entertaining, but I always get sucked in. I'm just glad I'm out of college.
MSNBC.
@ other michael.
How fitting that you are a titan/volunteer (Titaneer?) as I am a Gator/Jaguar (Jagator?).
Wow, this just keeps going.
Alan - thank you for absolving me of my Last Dragon shame.
@Electricia - You weren't the only one watching Harper's Island. When they moved it from Wednesday(?) to Saturday, I should have taken that as a sign to move on. Instead I watched it On Demand.
Someone mentioned The T.O. Show which reminded me: did anyone watch The Superstars? Did you find yourself (gulp) rooting for T.O.?
And not at all recent but in the spirit of taking one for the team. If you've managed to avoid Don't Say a Word w/ Michael Douglas and Brittany Murphy and you see it coming in the program guide, put down the remote, turn around, and run. The first time Brittany's character comes on screen, I said if this is the answer I'm gonna be really mad. 2 hours later when it turned out I was right, I had to go buy a new remote.
A Night at the Roxbury -- a movie whose only highlight is when the brothers do the head-twitch from the SNL sketch.
I rented from Netflix a movie called "Extreme Move" It said it was by the people that made "Not Another Teen Movie" which is the only one of those recent Airplane-lite type movies I actually liked so I rented it site unseen.
They say there are some things that happen in your life that change a man. Things where you come out not quite the same as you came in. The colors of the trees seem a little duller; the air, not quite as sweet. My friends, sitting until the very end of the credits of this film was one of those moments. Please, please PLEASE do not rent it.
forced to watch a football game? man, in these moments I DON'T envy your job. sorry you had to do that.
I recently endureed the entire season of VH1's reality show Charm school, where they take the rejects from Rock of Love and send them to charm school. Riki Lake was the host and the show did not make any sense at all. In the end, I was rooting for none of the girls to win. So much time wasted.
srpad wins. That was awesome.
I have watched every second of the NFL draft for three consecutive years.
I saw the movie Eagle Eye in the theaters, and for months told anyone who would listen that it was the worst movie I have ever seen.
But recently, it was on TV, and I actually sat through it again. Why? I don't know.
I am a grown adult. No children.
Last week I watched "Gym Teacher: The Movie."
As in: Nickelodeon's made-for-TV movie about a down-on-his-luck gym teacher (Christopher Meloni) trying to find redemption by coaching his eighth grade class to victory.
The worst part?
I only KIND OF regret it.
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