Corner boys, UFO Boy, fly boys, Emo Boy and Anne Heche

The start of the TV season is a double-edged sword for this blog: I'll have much more to write about and much less time to do it in. Already I feel like I'm running behind, thanks to all the pilot and season premiere screeners coming in. Since this blog wasn't around for premiere week last year (it debuted in early October '05), I'm still feeling my way on how to handle the overload of stuff to see and write about. So apologies in advance if some of the commentary is a day or so late. If I know I'm clearly not going to get to something the day after it airs, I'll try to start a comments thread for it, then bump it back up top when I have time to write the review.

But I'm already running behind, so quick hits this morning:

• That was one of the creepiest, most effective "House" teasers of all time, and a pretty good episode over all. My big problem lies with Cuddy and Wilson's attempt to House-break the good doctor. After two years of seeing him successfully use his patients as guinea pigs for wild, unsubstantiated theories, now they've decided he needs to stop relying on hunches?
  
• Slightly improved episode of "Standoff," in that there was more relationship material, Gina Torres got more to do and the hostage crisis was more dramatic. On the other hand, my willing suspension of disbelief meter had to go off the charts to accept the fact that, 15 years after "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" -- not to mention five years after 9/11 -- there wouldn't be a plan in place to warn and divert all planes in the event of a takeover of air traffic control. Thanks to the dual tuner DVR, the show gets at least one more week, but once I'm in the thick of the new season, I'm going to have a hard time wanting to stick with it.
• And so, on "Rock Star," Tommy Lee's man-love won out over the question of who could best sing his soon-to-be renamed band (the other Supernova won their court case yesterday, though Adam at ALOTTFMA can explain the legal ramifications much better than I can), and Lukas gets the gig in a very anti-climactic finale. I'm not saying that I wanted Toby to win, or that I even care who gets the privilege of fronting this lame-o band. But by having the final two be Lukas and Dilana, who everybody and their mother could have predicted as the final two from the very first episode -- even though Toby had so clearly passed Dilana both in performance quality and roit-ness for the band over the last month -- made the whole season feel like a pointless exercise, where the band came up with the boot order on the first night, then tried to concoct excuses to follow it, whether the person deserved to go or not. ("Magni, even though we don't want our lead singer to overshadow us, we feel like you fit in too well with a band, so...") In a way, it felt like that first season of "The Apprentice," where if you just studied everyone's resume, you could have picked Bill and Kwame as the final two. On the plus side, I would much rather spend three months listening to kick-ass rock music that has no competitive point than watch people sell art or drive pedi-cabs. All I know is that if I snag tickets to the show at Radio City, I'm going to be very psyched to see The House Band play with Magni, Toby, Dilana, Storm and whoever comes along, will hopefully enjoy Panic Channel, and then will beat a hasty retreat when Your Band Name Here comes on stage.
• Though I reported on the news about "The Wire" a couple of nights ago, I strongly recommend reading today's column about it, if for no other reason than that the last four paragraphs were written by David Simon. And no matter how good I may feel about myself and my talents, I ain't in that guy's league. And if you go to the second page, you can read me pointing out the under-reported controversy about "Survivor: Cook Islands": the fact that there are, like, a dozen contestants with stronger than usual showbiz ties.
• Forgot to ask: did anybody watch the "Men in Trees" premiere on Tuesday, and, if so, what'd you think? If someone other than Anne Heche were playing the lead, I might find it more tolerable. (On the other hand, wouldn't it have been awesome stunt-casting if the "House" people had her play UFO Boy's mom? Or even UFO Boy himself?)

Off to wrestle with my "Studio 60" review...

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Rock Star: All over but the squealing

Final "Rock Star" performance show evaluation post-haste...

I get that the producers and the record people want the originals to be drilled into people's heads, since one of them will most likely be an early Supernova single, and I know they did it this way last year, but did we really have to get the same four originals two weeks in a row? I dig "Throw It Away" and I'm already close to sick of it.

More interesting to me was how much interaction there was between the contestants tonight. At this point, I think everybody knows that Supernova has made up its mind (whether it's Lukas or Toby), so there's no competitive disadvantage to sharing the spotlight with one of your friends (or providing support to one of them), and after all the Dilana drama (much of it no doubt crafted by the editors), it was nice to see some sportsmanship on a Burnett competition show. In order...

Toby, "Karma Police" & "Throw It Away": My Radiohead knowledge pretty much begins and ends with "Creep" (feel free to mock me in the comments if you must), so I have no idea how well Toby sang "Karma Police," whether he rearranged it at all, etc. But I liked that he showed a different, dare I say Lukas-esque side of himself with a much more introspective number. And while the vocals on "Throw It Away" were a bit lazier than they had been the first two times, the interaction with Magni was awesome, especially Magni threatening to hit him with the guitar and then Magni kneeling before Toby and letting him play a few chords.

Side question: Paula Abdul is in the audience?

Lukas, "Fix You" & "Headspin": The House Band really did the heavy lifting on the Coldplay song. Lukas' falsetto was really shaky, but when they kicked in after the first verse, both with the instruments and the harmonizing, the whole thing took a quantum leap. I don't exactly love "Headspin," but I think I prefer the acoustic version to last week's.

Dilana, "Roxanne" & "Supersoul": Hey, Chris from episode one: this is how you try to tweak The Police. Dilana's a crap songwriter and sometimes doesn't even understand the lyrics of songs she's performing, but when she's on, vocally she's my favorite performer this season. (And, yes, that includes Storm.) By the way, what's the FCC fine for a diminutive South African headcase with Medusa hair and multiple piercings showing the world her vagina on multiple occasions during one set?

Second side note: The judges have been inconsistent in their critiques all season, and now we have Navarro -- who, two weeks ago trashed Storm for putting Toby on stage with her -- raving about Dilana's ability to get the guys to sing back-up. Huh? Wha?

Magni, "Hush" & "When the Time Comes": See? When Magni plays guitar, he seems like somebody Supernova could actually use. (If nothing else, he'd allow Gilby to go back to what he's actually qualified for, which is rhythm guitar.) When he puts it down, not that memorable. But he and Rafael played off each other beautifully.

I'm waffling back and forth between Toby and Lukas for the win. At the moment I'm leaning towards the Glam Hobbit. Toby's a better match for the band, but Tommy's man-love for Lukas just seems way too strong.

What does everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Clear skies?

"Rock Star" elimination spoilers, post-haste...

Well, nertz. It's not exactly a secret who I've been pulling for, and I had resigned myself to her going home last week or tonight at the latest, and then Storm had to go and just blow up all over the stage and screen last night and fool me into thinking she would be around to the final week.

Instead, she goes home, but at least she got one hell of a three-song, two-night farewell: one of the most energetic covers of the season with "Sufragette City," a balls-out original with "Ladylike," and then a lovely tearjerker (it even had stone-faced Jason Newsted wiping 'em away) with "Wish You Were Here." At first, I was surprised she would go back to a ballad after regaining the ability to rock with "Helter Skelter," but you got the feeling she went into this evening knowing it was over -- and if she didn't at the start, she did once Magni got to sing the latest generic Supernova song instead of her. So she got to show one last color, and to sing goodbye to her late, mentally-ill mom. Then she got the nicest send-off I've ever seen for an eliminated reality contestant, up to Dave and Tommy and Jason all volunteering to play on her recorded version of "Ladylike." All in all, not a bad way to go out.

As someone pointed out over on Throwing Things, it's ironic that they all want to be in her band but none of them want her in their band, but she clearly doesn't fit into whatever the hell it is that Supernova is doing, so that's cool. It's late in the game, but maybe she'll get enough text messages to show up for the encore next week. And I know I'll be ordering a copy of Storm & The Balls' "Blue" CD whenever it comes out.

Time to rank the contenders one last time, I suppose. At the start of the season, there seemed to be a clear Big Four of Dilana, Storm, Lukas and Toby, and Magni has slipped in there instead. From least likely to win to most:

4. Dilana: I love Cheap Trick. Most of the new music I buy is from garage bands who are ripping off Cheap Trick. But when have they ever been confused with a punk band? It didn't sound so much like Dilana re-arranged "I Want You To Want Me" (yet another on-the-nose song choice) into a punk song as she just sang it at a completely different tempo from the band, all while flopping the lyrics around. There are times when she's a very cool cover singer, and her "Lithium," "Ring of Fire" and "Zombie" were three of the season's top 10 (if not top 5) performances, but whatever spell she had on me has been lost, and she's obviously way too high maintenance even for a short-term gig like this. I wouldn't be stunned if she survives the first elimination, or even the second, just so the band can maintain the fiction that they would consider a frontwoman, but no way is she winning.

3. Magni: Macro engaged: nice guy, total pro, fine voice, probably a better guitar player than Gilby, yet doesn't really bring that much to the table by himself. Lukas and Toby would have to basically threaten to rape Tommy on live TV for Magni to have a shot at beating them.

2. Lukas: I go back and forth on this. Apparently, during the performance show taping, Tommy gave some big emotional speech after Lukas performed about how he'd spent his whole life dreaming of being in a band with a guy who could make him feel the way Lukas made him feel after "Headspin." No doubt they cut it from the broadcast because it made it sound like Lukas had the gig won and no one needed to tune in for the next week and a half. But I just don't see the guy as a match for the T. Rex-style generic party rock that we've heard out of the band for the last four weeks. They pick him if they care about being around for more than one tour and one album and want to make their sound more modern; if they just want to cash in and go back to their day jobs, he's not the right fit.

1. Toby: He's the least interesting of these four, yet he's the perfect match for Supernova. I think that just about says it all about this season. Someone want to call Eddie Van Halen to see if he's changed his mind for season three?

What does everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: The originals

Spoilers for the best "Rock Star" episode of the season after this...

Dilana, "Behind Blue Eyes" & "Supersoul": Hard to tell how much of Dilana's recent portrayal is a genuine meltdown and how much is the Burnett editing team needing a villain, but she is not coming off well at all. Crying jags two weeks in a row, followed by her writing a lame-ass song telling the fans to F-off (and that actually contained "Control-Alt-Delete" as a lyric), followed by her singing two sings here about how misunderstood she is and how all this suffering is only going to make her stronger. She's like GOB Bluth in that "Arrested Development" where he goes to work for Stan Sitwell and keeps coming up with variations on the same idea ("I call it 'Swing City'"... "I call it 'Fuck City'"...) Everyone seems to have gotten over the whole Interview-gate except Dilana, and when you couple that with her penchant for writing lyrics that are always way too on the nose (in an earlier webisode-only songwriting clinic, her song topic? why, the experience of being on "Rock Star," of course), and you have somebody who's gone from the runaway winner (when she sang the first Supernova song) to the most obvious potential boot in less than a month.

Whatever her personal issues may be, I really enjoyed her "Behind Blue Eyes" up until she had to, again, make the song all about her and her woe-is-me situation by flipping the gender at the end for the two people who already didn't get the point. She has a great voice and commands the stage and camera; I can't think of anybody else left who could have moshed as well while sitting on a stool. But she no longer has any shot at winning and her exit tomorrow wouldn't stun me in the least.

Magni, "Back in the U.S.S.R." & "When the Time Comes": I think I need a Magni macro at this point: strong voice, interacts well with the band, great energy and passion, throbbing vein, solid but extremely faithful cover, etc. Even Tommy, in his usual numbskull way, noticed this. I think Magni did himself a great disservice by not playing lead guitar on "When the Time Comes." From what we've seen to date, he's far and away the best musician left, the song's strongest attribute is that guitar riff, and Supernova arguably needs a second ax man. Magni's problem at this point is that he's solid in every area but not exceptional in any -- consistent but not creative -- so why not let it rip with the guitar to remind the band and the voters the one area in which he clearly excels over the competition? If Dilana isn't going home, he is, barring some fluke where neither is in the bottom three.

Storm, "Sufragette City" & "Ladylike": Ho. Ly. Crap. That was amazing, and I don't think it's just my gushing Storm fanboy speaking here. First of all, even if Dave's cameo on guitar wasn't a surprise, he and Storm interacted perfectly, and if she really didn't know he was doing it, then she improvised like a champ (loved the "Oh, David!" as he launched into the solo). Throughout the competition, Storm has seemed to sway between performances that were maybe too manic by a third to a half and quiet, solid but uninspiring ballads. Here, she finally put together the vocals and the energy, larger than life but in control of it. Maybe she needs to do an entire show of Bowie covers or something, but that "Sufragette City" was great...

...and so was the PG version of "Ladylike." The song suffers a little with "what" replacing "fuck" (as well as her having to lose the "Hey, motherfucker!" near the end, which you can hear properly here), but the passion made up for the lack of profanity. So glad she got to stick around long enough to sing this song on national TV -- and it, coupled with "Sufragette City," all but guarantee that she'll be on that stage next week. I don't think she's a good match with Supernova, nor do I think she really wants the job, but she's going to get what I'm sure she really wanted out of all of this: a full summer of exposure so she and her band can keep doing what they've been doing, just on a bigger, better-paying scale.

Lukas, "Living on a Prayer" & "Headspin": Lukas is essentially the un-Magni, polarizing where the Iceman is universally-liked (but not necessarily loved), risk-taking where Magni plays it down the middle, probably a pain in the ass on the road and in the studio where Magni's a pro. I don't know that I would want to pay money for a Lukas Rossi album (with or without Supernova), but I understand why the people who love the guy really love him and why the band is so into him.

I may not have been able to decipher all, or even most, of the words to "Headspin" (or "Living on a Prayer," but as a Jersey boy I know those by heart, like it or not), but the man has charisma, he does interesting arrangements (he completely changed the tone of the Bon Jovi song without subverting its meaning), and he's one of the more interesting songwriters (even when I can't make out the lyrics, I appreciate the tunes).

Toby, "Mr. Brightside" & "Throw It Away": On the other hand, you have Toby as sort of the perfect blending of Lukas and Magni: nice guy who won't overshadow the band but does have a certain spark, creative without being so adventurous as to alienate a lot of fans, etc. I thought his voice sounded a little too high and thin on "Mr. Brightside," and the attempt to get the crowd to sing along didn't really work. At first, I thought it was just a case of the studio audience not being properly mic'ed (ditto Storm trying to involve the crowd with the second "Ladylike" chorus, or Magni on "Satisfaction" way back in the premiere), but then you could very clearly hear them on the "oh oh oh oh oh oh" during "Throw It Away." (And stop being so impressed by how quickly the audience picked that up, Navarro: it's six "oh"s in a row, repeated frequently.) Even though he apparently wrote it a while ago (you can hear the original version on his band's MySpace), that song sure as hell sounds like it would fit in on a Supernova album, for good or for ill.

What it comes down to, I think, is the difference between a frontman (or woman) and a lead singer. When Storm and Lukas perform, it's in a very Storm and Lukas way; when Toby does it, I could see him singing for any number of bands, including this one.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Do you remember how to mosh?

"Rock Star" results, PDQ...

Big, big, BIG sigh of relief from this Storm fan at the moment. She dodged a bullet, and deservedly so. But we'll go in performance order, since everybody but Magni got to sing.

Lukas, "Crap-Ass Supernova Song #3": You know, it's getting to the point where I can't imagine a scenario where Toby doesn't win. The two front-runners, Dilana and Lukas, have both sounded either ordinary (Dilana) or incoherent (Lukas) while playing with the band, and neither has really seemed to fit, whereas Toby, while unspectacular, at least had some on-stage chemistry with the guys and seemed to match the tone they were going for. Plus, he's not high-maintenance like the other two, and even if this is going to be a two-month tour (as opposed to a twenty year run with the band -- RYAN), who wants the headaches? Not good at all for Lukas, and I actually had Toby's "Hey hey hey"s and "Ho ho ho"s running through my head throughout it.

Toby, "Rebel Yell": Not as good as last night, but still fun, and I like that he went all the way back to the bleachers (which is where I had to sit for my taping). Looks like he's replacing Ryan as the teacher's pet.

Ryan, "Baba O'Riley": I'll admit it: I looked at some spoiler boards this afternoon to prepare myself for the inevitable disappointment of Storm's exit. And after doing a fist-pump over news of her survival, I was surprised to read several accounts that said Ryan got the biggest crowd reaction in the show's history and that everyone was going nuts when he was sent home. I can see how that might have played well to the crowd, what with the running and the jumping and the two or three other tricks in Ryan's bag -- not to mention the House Band outdoing its usual genius at playing The Who (this was maybe the best I've ever heard them) -- but the actual vocals were screechy as hell, he mangled a bunch of the lyrics, and the jumping off of stuff had devolved into self-parody even before they showed that "Ryan jumps off of stuff" montage during his biographical package last night. And again, 20 years? Really? Really? This band isn't going to be together for 20 months, maybe not even 20 weeks. Definitely the angriest exit we've had this season.

Storm, "Helter Skelter": Well, now I can see why she's been itching to perform on elimination night, because that was all kinds of cool and a badly-needed return to Crazy Punk Storm instead of Selfless Balladeer Storm. And, yeah, she was screaming too, but this is a song designed for it. (I'd argue that it was the first heavy metal song rather than the first punk song, but she sure as hell made a punk song out of it.) Would've liked to see the crowd actually mosh, but it's not that kind of crowd (and the paid hotties downstage sure as hell weren't going to do it). Lots of energy -- even some crowd-surfing -- but energy that felt spontaneous. I still fear that she's gone next week, but that's only one week short of the finals, and at least she got a chance to remind the band and the audience that she's not just a cabaret act.

Dilana, "Psycho Killer": Wow, this was just a complete disaster. I'm not sure how this is possible, but her energy level was really low, even though she was screaming and jumping up and down the whole time. I think the criticism of the last two weeks and now being in the bottom three has really thrown her for a loop, and she can't handle it. Which is a shame, because she was far and away my favorite performer for quite a while, and it feels like she's imploding. Also, am I going crazy, or was she yodeling at a few spots?

I'm hoping that we actually get to hear the original songs on the show next Tuesday, since the last time they did a songwriting clinic, it was confined to the webisode. And shame on the producers if they don't let everybody sing twice. Even "Idol" isn't shameless enough to try to stretch out five songs over a whole hour. Also, with Zoolander gone, Magni and Storm are the only ones who haven't performed with the band, or even one member of the band. Unless they're going to let both of them play with Supernova at the start of next Wednesday's show, it's pretty obvious that whoever doesn't get to is the one going home, no?

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Impending doom?

First of all, can I give a resounding "Boo!" to the "Rock Star" producers for padding the hell out of what could have been an awesome show. You're down to six contestants. You've squeezed as many as 14 performances into an hour; why not let everybody go twice, once with the Fan's Choice and once with their own (whether an original or something from a list of covers)? I didn't need the biographical clips.

Also, the Fan's Choice gimmick was pretty lame. Every contestant had four choices: three songs they did before, and a Wild Card that another contestant (or, in the case of "Bring Me to Life," two contestants) had done. Of course everybody was going to pick the Wild Card, even if the song wasn't really a good fit for the contestant, simply because it would be new for them. It really feels like the music budget has been drastically lowered from season to season, or am I remembering year one's musical diversity a little too fondly?

Anyway, on to the performance-by-performance breakdown:

Lukas, "Lithium": In the webisode, he complained about not knowing the song and not even liking Nirvana (another lame element of the Fan's Choice, since "Mother, Mother" is something Dilana has done in her stage shows for years, whereas Lukas, Ryan and Storm all got stuck with songs they barely knew), but I think that worked for him in coming up with a very tight new arrangement. He made the verses plaintive rather than frustrated and angry, then brought the energy on the chorus before shifting gears back for the next verse. I don't know if this was Lukas' best performance, but it was up there.

Magni, "I Alone": I'm not sure his vein has ever throbbed this much, and I'm starting to worry; I want the baby to grow up with a father, you know? This was very typical Magni: great energy, great vocals, and 100% faithful to the original version. I like the guy a lot (he and Storm are easily the most appealing personalities left), but I want to see him mix a song up, just once, to show there's some creativity to go with the singing and guitar-playing talent. Also, I don't know what Gilby's talking about in terms of Magni suddenly displaying star quality, as I can think of at least three other performances of his that were at least this good, if not better.

Ryan, "Clocks": I want him gone, not just because I dislike him personally (I love how all of a sudden he's so sensitive about being slagged by Dilana when he was ripping the hell out of Dana and Patrice in the early weeks), but because he feels so practiced and phony. Even as he was kicking out the piano stool and doing his Luke Duke slide across the hood or busting out his Michelle Pfeiffer in "Fabulous Baker Boys" impression (minus the red dress, sadly), I can't shake the feeling that it's all been calculated to within an inch of its life. And I'm sure somebody like Lukas spends just as much time rehearsing every lurch and stagger and lip quiver, and yet it feels natural when he does it most of the time. Plus, Ryan's performance style is so humorless and doesn't feel like a good match for the band.

Storm, "Bring Me to Life": Oh, Stormy, I have a very bad feeling about this. First, where everybody else gets a biographical clip about how swell they are (or, in Dilana's case, about how determined she is to atone for her mistakes), hers is all about her struggles with this song. Second, it's, I think, her fifth ballad in a row at a time when she desperately needed to do something up-tempo and rocking, ala "Anything Anything" or "Surrender." Third, the band's clearly losing interest in her, as evidenced first by the "I Will Survive" pile-on and now Gilby's "I won't remember that tomorrow" slam. Even if she kills it in the bottom three tomorrow (and here's where not having been bottom three the last two weeks -- when she could have kicked ass on a song of her own choice and would have been safe because Zayra and Patrice were still around as cannon fodder -- is going to hurt her), I think they've already made up their minds about her. Which is a shame, both because I thought she sang the hell out of the song even when you factor in the degree of difficulty -- and her voice blended really well with Toby's -- and because I just enjoy watching her, and not just from a lecherous standpoint. I don't care if she wins -- I don't care if any of them win -- but I would have liked to see her make it to that final night. Ah, well. Maybe she'll at least get to sing with the band tomorr -- ah, who am I kidding? Sigh...

Toby, "Rebel Yell": Has he displayed this lower register before and I just missed it? Because he sounded great here with the deeper voice, and was really in command of the stage, even before he pulled a Springsteen and started pulling the paid dancing babes out of the front of the audience. After last week's jam with the band and tonight, I can genuinely see a scenario where he could win this. Given what little we've heard of Supernova, he seems like a better stylistic fit than either Lukas or Dilana, plus he'd be an easier guy to deal with on the road and would help these four middle-aged guys attract a younger female crowd.

Dilana, "Mother, Mother": This was the best I'd heard Dilana in weeks (and it oughta be, given how well she knows the song), but WTF with Navarro's comment that it was the best performance of the two seasons? Hell, it probably wasn't even the best of the night (I'd give that honor to either Lukas or Toby). Still, the angry song fit her like a glove and allowed her to display a more powerful, less raw side of her voice on the verses. And, of course, it neatly concluded the whole Fall and Rise of Dilana storyline that the producers have been working so hard the last two weeks.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Hero(ine) takes a fall

Since everyone in the world including Patrice knew that she was going home from "Rock Star" tonight, the most interesting part of the elimination show wasn't the debut of Supernova's second song (though it was slightly catchier) or the presence of Toby in the bottom three only a few minutes after he sang with Supernova. It was Dilana, the clear front-runner from week one, taking a couple of image hits. (According to people in the taping, the bit about talking to reporters went on for more than a half-hour, with Dave and the band all savaging her.)

The honest to the point of rude side of Dilana isn't a surprise to me -- even back in week three, she was dogging all the male contestants to any reporter who asked -- but the double pile-0n was. Maybe the producers felt they had to do damage control after everyone said that her singing with the band last week made the rest of the season a waste of time, or maybe she really is getting on everybody's nerves and they need to start laying the groundwork for her eventual defeat.

I still think the final two comes down to Dilana vs. Lukas, but for argument's sake, let's look at the chances of each remaining contender after the jump...

THE FAVORITES: Dilana and Lukas
"Lithium" and "Zombie" established Dilana as the most original, compelling contestant this season, and she's looked pretty comfortable jamming with both Gilby and the entire band. Working against her are an apparently abrasive personality (though that didn't exactly hurt J.D. last season) and the fact that, as Magni pointed out in the Mansion segment, she's really plateaued. Feels like it's been a month since her last really memorable performance ("Time After Time"?).

And speaking of J.D., we have Lukas as this year's token homeless Canadian assclown, the polarizing figure whom you either love or despise. He definitely has the stage presence down, and he's shown on a few songs like "Creep" that he can really sing when he wants to. Plus, Tommy digs him and Jason seems to view him as a pet project. On the downside, his "Celebrity Skin" was by far the worst performance by any of the remaining contenders, and the producers may try to nudge Supernova away from picking him to avoid making this season feel like a rerun of year one.

THE SAFE CHOICE: Magni
He and Storm are the sanest, most professional people left, as well as the best pure singers. He's also a good guitar player (though not in the class of the guy from the House Band, who was amazing on "Fire" and has repeatedly outclassed Gilby by an order of 10). Plus, Newsted loves him. Pick him, and you don't have to worry about headaches on the road and in the studio -- or about being upstaged by a singer who's too charismatic or distinctive. But by the same token, he only occasionally comes off like a bonafide rock star ("Fire" being one of those rare occasions). If they're expecting the frontman or woman to actually draw in a significant audience, I don't know that he's the guy.

THE DARK HORSES: Ryan and Toby
I've been pretty clear about my boredom with Ryan, but the band doesn't seem to feel the same way. Of the three originals that have been performed so far, "Back of Your Car" sounded most like something Supernova might actually play. Toby, meanwhile, can sing, had nice on-stage chemistry with the band, and will arguably have the most female appeal of any of the remaining men. The fact that he was chosen second to play with the band suggests they're taking him more seriously than I have. (That, or, again, reaction to Dilana with them last week scared them and the producers into picking someone who obviously isn't going to win.)

ON THE SPOT: Storm
It pains me to say this, since she's my favorite, but if Storm is in the bottom three next week, I think she goes home. Again, she's a mature, talented pro -- and, judging by her interactions with Navarro and the band, she'd be a lot of fun to have on the road -- but she's only knocked one song out of the park ("Anything, Anything") and has spent every week since singing songs that aren't remotely the sort of thing this band is going to do. She has to absolutely kill it next time, and if they're only singing one song each on Viewer's Choice week (last year, I vaguely recall that everyone got to do two, one chosen by viewers, one an original), she could be in trouble, because two of the choices ("Changes," "We Are the Champions") are ballads, one ("Bring Me To Life") has been done, like, 12 times already this season, and the fourth ("Anything, Anything") is something she's already done twice. If a second song is on the table, she needs to fight, shove, bully, whatever to either do an original or play with someone in Supernova.

What does everybody else think? Are my rankings way off? If you were one of the three chuckleheads in Supernova and you had to make the choice right now, who would you pick? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Come down here and take it, bitch!

"Rock Star" line of the night, if not the season, goes to Storm for her comeback to Navarro. (Which I understand wasn't even the sauciest thing said during that exchange, since they had a whole back and forth about safewords and ball-gags. Ah, the FCC.) Singer-by-singer breakdown after the jump...

Patrice, "Beautiful Thing": This, I liked -- and a lot more than that T-Rex by way of Poison and Warrant song that Supernova (Featuring Dilana!) performed last Wednesday. Peppy guitar pop is one of my things, and I could imagine this in heavy iPod rotation without difficulty. As Dave said, not sure it's right for whatever the hell it is Tommy and the guys want to do, but the best Patrice has been since "My Iron Lung," if not "Somebody to Love" on opening night.

Magni, "Smells Like Teen Spirit": Tough song to make your own, because it's so indelibly Nirvana in a way that no other Cobain song is. Magni played it straight down the middle, doing a very faithful cover (has he ever really mixed up an arrangement?) and screaming his lungs out in honorable fashion. Not mind-blowing, but solid, and one of those numbers that I imagine played better in the room than at home. Also, why hide the head vein beneath the wool cap on a song where you're going to go this bonko?

Ryan, "Back of Your Car": No. While his ability to move with the guitar was better, I feel like this guy gives the same. exact. performance. every damn week, and I'm bored with him. Plus, how much of a blatant suck-up was the guitar toss? Way to congratulate him for doing something the guys just suggested five minutes earlier, Dave.

Storm, "Crying": Stormy was in her element on this one, with the dramatics and the high notes and all the gyrations, and yet I kept being reminded of how much better Steven Tyler's voice sounds on this -- and that's coming from someone who always gets sad listening to early Aerosmith and imagining what Tyler would sound like today if he hadn't done so many drugs. Storm has a great voice and nobody else left would have come close to what she did with this, but if you can't match an iconic singer's voice, you should change the song up enough to cover for that.

This is also, like, Storm's fourth ballad in a row, and if she wants to even be included in the discussion with Lukas and Dilana, she needs to get out there and kick some ass on a harder, preferably faster song. That's why I was so frustrated she gave in to Ryan on the original song. (If you want an R-rated preview of what she plans to sing if she ever gets that chance, click here. There's a version with PG lyrics out there somewhere -- "What" in place of the F-word.) Question is, does she even want to win anymore, or does she just want to stick around a long time, then go back to doing her old gigs, only with a higher profile? I have this weird feeling her heart's not in it anymore, but I enjoy watching her and hope she has another "Anything Anything"-esque performance in her.

Dilana, "Every Breath You Take": OMFG, did she really sing her own name repeatedly at the end? I don't care if the "la la"s in the actual song sound a little like "Dilana," that's like one of those Pizza Hut pizzas where, just in case your cholestorol wasn't already jacked up, they have to shove extra cheese into the crust. That moment was an angioplasty special, and the capper to Dilana's most pedestrian performance by far. (Though it was still a step up from the version she was practicing in the webisode, where her falsetto sounded like a strangled dog.) I still think she has in the inside track on the job, but it's been a while since she really dazzled me performance-wise.

Toby, "Layla": I'm usually pro-rearrangement, and anything to take the song the hell away from the godawful Unplugged version Clapton perpetrated a decade or so ago is alright in my book, but this one just felt off. In general, Toby's been really manic and trying too hard the last few weeks. Plus, with the hoodie on, I kept wondering when he was going to break into "You All, Everybody." (Or am I the only one who thinks he looks a bit like Charlie from "Lost"?)

Lukas, "All These Things That I've Done": Great manic energy and vocal intensity, if not quality. Maybe he was just out of breath from all the moving around, but his voice wasn't a patch on the original, which is one of my favorite songs of the last five years. Still, I like watching the guy jump around, but I'd like to hear him sing in his "Creep" voice again, and soon.

I think Patrice is going home no matter what. Hard to figure the encore, since nobody was head-and-shoulders dazzling. I'll be stunned if anyone but Lukas gets to play with Supernova.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: That's all there is?

"Rock Star" elimination spoilers after the jump...

Like I said last night, Zayra needed to go. She had no business fronting this band, and after a few weeks where the guys were keeping her around as a freakshow for their own amusement, demonstration of her actual talent seemed to jar them into recognizing that, whatever career she's going to have, it's better off away from them. Patrice isn't going to win, and unless she miraculously avoids bottom three next week there's no way she doesn't go home, but at least she sings, plays and writes a similar style of music to what the guys want to do.

And speaking of which, before we get back to the elimination stuff, am I the only one who was, um, massively underwhelmed by the debut performance of Supernova, featuring blatant frontrunner Dilana? Not a terrible song, and maybe something I might start singing along to if I heard it on the radio 57 times (which, if I still listened to NY/NJ's abysmal terrestrial radio stations in the car, I might), but nothing I'm going to rush to download to the iPod or share with friends. And is it too late to have Gilby replaced by the House Band lead guitarist?

To me, the highlight of the night was watching Storm psyching herself up for the bottom three performance she believed was inevitable, only to be crushed when Magni wound up there instead. (As with "Idol," we may have reached the stage in the contest where it's better to be bad than mediocre; outraged Storm fans were no doubt power-voting, while Iceland assumed Magni was fine.) It was funny to see how excited both Storm and Magni were by the possibility of the bottom three showcase; done right, it can almost be better than getting the encore (different song, not one off a list, etc.). It illustrated not only their personalities, but their obviously secure place in the competition (compare their faces to Toby, who looked like he'd just been offered a supporting role in Crocodile Dundee 5).

I'm getting a little frustrated at the amount of in-season repetition of songs. I understand Magni auditioned with "Creep" and feels strongly about it, but Lukas only sang the freakin' thing last week, and better, at that. (Though Magni approaching Patrice and Zayra as he sang "I don't belong here" was hella funny.) And while I applaud Patrice for getting all the words to "Celebrity Skin" right after Lukas' mangling, can't we please have some more originality on the second night?

What did everybody else think? And what would Dilana have to do between now and the finale to not win this? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Death before disco?

"Stripped-down" night of "Rock Star" wasn't as much fun as last season's (which gave us Jordis' "Knocking on Heaven's Door" and Marty's "Baby One More Time," among other highlights), but there was some interesting stuff going on, including my first near-violent disagreement with the judges. In order after the jump...

Zayra, "Lluvia De Mar": Best performance she's given this season, and they should send her home for it. And no, those two clauses aren't contradictory. Listening to her sound so much more confident and melodious doing a Spanish ballad should erase any doubt that she's all wrong for this band. With Josh gone, she's the squarest peg left.

Magni, "Starman": Every time I see that vein on the right side of his head throb, I keep worrying that he's going to wind up in the ER -- especially when it goes that berserk even on a relatively mellow song like this. He's a much better pure singer than I had realized in the early weeks, but, like Tommy with Storm after the previous two episodes, I really want to see him go bananas, and soon. Can he be as interesting on a song that's faster, or angrier, or more upbeat, or anything that sounds closer to the kind of music these guys want to do?

Patrice, "Message in a Bottle": For the first two thirds, this was the best I'd heard her sound since "My Iron Lung," but she ran into some trouble at the end (ironically, the part that the judges liked the best), and the smiling was once again all wrong for the lyrics. While I think Zayra should go home tomorrow, I think Patrice will. She has obvious talent, but she's plateaued, and the audience doesn't seem into her.

Lukas, "Hero": And he's dressed as an androgynous priest why, exactly? Not as powerful as "Creep" or as energetic as some of his incoherent early numbers, but I'm starting to like the stupid little hobbit. After Dilana, he seems most sure of who he is and how to play to the crowd.

Storm, "I Will Survive": I call seven levels of bullshit on this. First, what the hell is this song doing on the show at all, let alone on the acoustic night? Storm or someone else could have ripped the daylights out of this one on a regular evening, but whoever got the song this week was starting out with both arms tied behind their backs. (And, yeah, Marty had to sing Britney Spears on this night last year, but the acoustic format was an ideal change of pace for that, whereas Gloria Gaynor was already singing a ballad.) Second, given the limitations, I thought Storm did a great job on this, finding the ugly, raw emotion at the center of the song and making it sound like something that, if not exactly right for what Supernova wants to be, at least something that would belong at an arena rock show. For me, this was at least the second-best of the night, and she had a much higher degree of difficulty than the potential top dog. I'm so irked with Dave and the guys for dumping on this that I actually went over to MSN and voted a few times, and I never do that for any of these shows.

Toby, "Solsbury Hill": Is it me, or did Toby make as bad a hash of the lyrics as Lukas did on "Celebrity Skin"? It felt like he was mixing and matching lines from different verses and at times introducing entirely new words (and not intentionally, the way Storm did on "IWS"). And while the singing was some of Toby's best for the first minute or so, once he made the move over to the bongos he got very screechy. Plus, this isn't really the week to fight for the chance to play with one of the guys, since this set-up is so unlike what the band is generally going to do.

Ryan, "In the Air Tonight": No piano and Neo coat aside, this felt like a carbon copy of his "Losing My Religion" from a few weeks back. Like Patrice, I think he's as good as he's going to be on this show; the only difference is that he started off so poorly that he's giving the band this false belief that he's only going to get better and better. Bored now, except for the string quartet, who sounded killer on this.

Dilana, "Cat's in the Cradle": Probably the best of the night, though her version was much more faithful to the original than what Storm did. Also, she took the song in an angrier direction than I think it probably should go, even though it fits her style. But she has such incredible stage presence that, unless she gets too cocky and starts coasting, everybody else is playing for second.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

While I was out...

Never in my life have I been so happy to take a six-hour drive (including traffic back-ups) from New England to New Jersey as I was on our return trip, since it didn't involve going into an airport post-Shampoogate. I'll take the longer hours with the ability to control my environment, eat and drink whatever I want, randomly shampoo my hair, etc., etc.

I still have to sift through a lot of what's on the TiVo, but in the meantime, some things I noticed upon my return to the series of tubes:

• Screw the "Seinfeld" Curse (which would imply that the actors had done something like sold Babe Ruth or kicked a goat out of Wrigley, instead of just getting new jobs). "Project Greenlight" is now 0-for-3 after the news that John Gulager's "Feast" is coming to movie theaters in September... for all of two nights. Apparently, the Weinsteins have decided to just have latenight screenings on Sept. 22 & 23, then send the thing directly to DVD. Can I just say "Boooo!!!"? I have no idea if the movie is any good or not, but a virtual straight-to-video release can't do any good for Gulager's career prospects -- or for the chances of him doing a second movie with a DVD supplement in which he discusses the movie while sitting in the tub for 45 minutes. Sigh...
  
• About time "Rock Star" did a double elimination -- not only because the show has to be off the air by mid-September, but because it's abundantly clear that, at best, four or five of these people (Lukas, Dilana, Storm, Magni and maybe Toby) have a realistic shot at winning this thing. Josh was all wrong for this group (as I understand, casting was done before the producers knew who the band would be, which would also explain the presence of Zayra and that guy from week one who liked Duran Duran), and all three guys despised Jill, so buh-bye. Since I'm a Storm fan, I'm hoping she gets to play with one of the guys this week and really hits it out of the park.
  
• Well, my campaign to get Steve McPherson to move "Ugly Betty" off of Friday nights and into the post-"Desperate Housewives" slot (currently held by this year's Show In Trouble, "Brothers & Sisters," which is a broken foot away from "Commando Nanny" status) was half-successful. "Betty" is off Fridays, but now it's on Thursdays at 8. If the "Grey's Anatomy" halo effect extends to the hour before it airs, this could be a good move, but it now means I have to deal with "Survivor," "The Office" and "Betty" in the same timeslot. (Plus "Earl," I suppose.) I think I'm going to have to move the TiVo to an upstairs room and get a dual-tuner DVR from Comcast for the main TV if I'm going to have a prayer of surviving the early parts of this season.
  

And, unrelated to TV (save that you could watch them on a TV), I took three Netflix movies with me on the trip and got through "The Greatest Game Ever Played" (a sop to my Underdog Sports Movie addiction), "Transamerica" (Felicity lived up to the hype) and "Brick," a really odd but cool movie in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt (the kid from "3rd Rock from the Sun") stars in a contemporary high school drama where all the characters talk like they're in a Dashiell Hammett or Raymond Chandler novel.

Back tomorrow with "Deadwood" and "Entourage." Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Meet the new boss?

Well, for about 10 or 15 minutes there it looked like Dilana had "Rock Star" season two all won. Not only was she the only one brave and smart enough to want to perform with Gilby, but she kicked all kinds of ass on the "CSI: Miami" theme song. But then Storm, and Magni, and Patrice (sort of), and Lukas and Toby proved that we still have a competition here. While it wasn't brilliant from start to finish, there were more highs tonight than on any episode this season to date. In order, after the jump...

Dilana, "Won't Get Fooled Again": The House Band always rocks the hell out of The Who, and I loved Gilby's intro. I prefer Insane Witch Dilana to last week's Biker Bar Dilana, and even to tonight's Rock Goddess Dilana, but this is the incarnation that actually has a shot at fronting Supernova, and she proved she could command the stage even when not completely losing her shit. Only bad part was when Gilby did the Springsteen-esque lean-in to harmonize; his voice didn't mesh with Dilana's at all. But a lot of fun, and the wail at the end was awesome.

Jill, "Mother, Mother": What Jason said: vastly improved stage presence, bland vocals -- especially on the chorus, which is where she should have really been going berserk. Other than the leap off the stage, nothing too exciting.

Ryan, "Paint It Black": I'm sorry, but I was too busy laughing at Ryan's Zoolander wardrobe and makeup to even notice the performance first time through. And on replay... no, still laughing. Take three: he definitely has a lot more energy than he did the first few weeks, but the vocals were screamy without being that interesting. And did I mention that I kept waiting for him to show us his Blue Steel face (or, at least, Le Tigre).

Storm, "We Are the Champions": With Dana gone, Storm is the best pure singer left by a country mile, and aside from one misstep on the first "we'll keep on fighting," she stared Freddie's ghost right in the face and didn't blink. Great theatricality, and I loved the new harmony on the middle portion. But, like Tommy, I'm looking forward to Storm going nuts again, and soon. (Her "Oh, I'll spank the crap out of you again, for sure" was almost as funny as Ryan's eye make-up.) And her support for everyone else stood out more this week than ever. On the webisode, she's completely rocking out as everybody else performs their version of the Supernova song, and she was on her feet and dancing for virtually everybody tonight.

(Side note: what kind of box was Brooke standing on to seem almost as tall as Storm when they stood next to each other?)

Zayra, "All the Young Dudes": Continuing her superhero costume motif, she seems to have appropriated Lemuria's original outfit from "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?," with a top hat and stripper heels to complement it. Whenever Marian and I see Penelope Cruz on TV or in a movie, Marian likes to riff on how annoying it would be to have to listen to that voice after about a week of living together, especially once the pillow talk ends and she starts saying things like, "We're out of toilet paper" and "Where are the Hot Pockets?" Listening to Zayra always reminds me of that, even when her vocals are completely overpowered by the band (plus Magni) the way they were tonight. On the rare occasions when I could hear her, she was both flat and annoying. Not nearly the bizarro entertainment value of last week's transformation of "8675309" into a lesbian punk anthem. Be crazy or be gone, Z.

Josh Logan, "Interstate Love Song": If Dave felt Patrice disappeared in front of Tommy, then the space-time continuum folded in on itself to erase Josh from ever having existed. I appreciate his attempt to rock out for real (and his Supernova adaptation was one of the two or three best), but after the opening bars, his voice pretty much ceased to exist. The House Band and Tommy were hot, though.

Magni, "When the Dolphins Cry": Awww, his baby has noise-canceling headphones! Sorry, dad moment there. Having his family in the room sure inspired Magni; this was his best performance by far, with strong singing and palpable emotion. For the first time, I can actually see why Jason and some of the others have been lavishing so much praise on him.

Patrice, "Instant Karma": My favorite Lennon solo song, and this was a cool arrangement of it (not to mention a song for which Patrice's incessant smiley-ness wasn't out of place). Nice move with the mic stand, proving that you actually can play guitar on this show without having to superglu your feet to the stage. But at the close of the show, she was in the freakin' bottom three again. I have to think that Dilana and Storm are overshadowing her too much (she's the Jennifer Hudson in this scenario), which is a shame, because I'd much rather she stick around for a long time than, say, Josh or Ryan.

Lukas, "Creep": In the webisode, Dilana all but dares Lukas to sing this one as a put up or shut up moment about his ability to sing a song, and you could see her on stage tonight looking really pissed at herself for giving her biggest competition such a great showcase. Turns out the stupid hobbit can actually sing a little -- and, more importantly, that he can bring some serious emotion when he's not just preening and staggering. Hell, I even loved the stupid wink. He's obviously Tommy's favorite, and unless he really stumbles moving forward, I think the producers need to either limit season three's talent pool to only homeless Canadian assclowns or ban them altogether to keep things interesting.

Toby, "Burning Down the House": Was I the only one who, when Toby pulled out the megaphone, expected him to start belting out Spanish gibberish? No? Just me? To that, I have only one thing to say: Sanchez, go! Anyway... Toby had some of the boy-band moves back for the beginning of this, but as the song kept going, he got legitimately weird, which is something I think you have to do while performing anything written by David Byrne. Good modern arrangement, House Band burning up the studio, etc.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Stepping up

First "Rock Star" performance episode I've been able to watch in its entirety, as aired, since the season premiere, and it was a pretty solid one, I thought, albeit with two fiascos and one invader from Mars. (And no, it wasn't the person singing the Bowie song.) Singer-by-singer breakdown, in order, after the jump...

Patrice, "Higher Ground": I hate to say it, because I like her voice, but I would definitely put her in the group of 8 people Dave think would just disappear in front of Tommy. (The three who wouldn't, IMO, are Dilana and Storm, because they kick ass, and Zayra because she's an insane freakshow.) Even with the faux-hawk and the pointing and the singing directly to Tommy, she still got way overwhelmed by him. (The constant cuts to him drumming didn't help, but even in the wide shot I was more focused on him.) She and Magni both have signed leases to the middle of the pack, and this sure isn't going to lift her out of that. If she somehow winds up bottom three tomorrow, I wouldn't be stunned if they sent her home.

Josh, "Santeria": The most in his element Josh has been since the opener, but that element is all wrong for this band and this show. I understand the real reason Supernova dumped Phil last week is because he gave a newspaper interview where he admitted his only reason for going on the show was to publicize his own band and that he didn't want to win; Josh may not be quite that dumb, but Gilby, Jason and Tommy have to be bright enough to see that Josh is only in this for Josh and has no realistic chance of working with them. Fun performance, but so what?

Dilana, "Can't Get Enough": Not as blow your mind amazing as some of her earlier numbers like "Lithium" and "Zombie," but she showed that she can be almost as good when the song doesn't call for her to scare the daylights out of the audience at home. I prefer corset-wearing growly witch Dilana to leather-clad up-tempo Dilana, but that was still entertaining. Is there any chance at all that the guy who gave her the piggyback ride doesn't work for the show and didn't rehearse that with her?

Toby, "Pennyroyal Tea": Maybe it's because this was the only song of the evening I didn't know, but I wasn't feeling this. Toby had pretty clearly established himself in that group of four (with Dilana, Storm and Lukas) that was significantly ahead of the rest, and this was bland enough to maybe slide him back to Patrice/Magni country.

Zayra, "867-5309 (Jenny)": She should have gone home at least twice before now, but I've gotta admit I occasionally enjoy her sideshow, and this was one of those times. Awful, awful vocals, but the arrangement was better than I was expecting after seeing the House Band slag it during the webisode (the first time I watched one this year), and Zayra's superhero meets stripper costume and moves made me laugh, and laugh and laugh. I don't even find her that attractive (as opposed to the Supernova guys, who all clearly want to jump her), but in terms of people I want to see on my TV for a while, I'd rather be stunned/appalled by whatever the hell she's going to do next than sit through some of the more competent but bland performers. And speaking of which...

Magni, "Clocks": I'm glad that the show is flying his family out to see him, since I can't imagine him winning, unless Jason (who seems way more impressed with him than anyone else) has a whole lot of pull. Magni's good, don't get me wrong, and his voice has a kind of poor man's Bono quality even when he isn't wearing the Bono shades, and if I saw him at a bar, or even opening for a bigger act, I'd be perfectly happy with him. But I have yet to hear anything special from him, and choosing the most boring song of the millennium sure didn't help, even though he sang it well (outside an ill-planned attempt at a falsetto two-thirds of the way through).

Jill, "Don't You Forget About Me": Two minutes of shrieking. Next.

Ryan, "Losing My Religion": When I heard he was doing this, I laughed, because the guy already was way too mopey and now he was singing the mopiest song the very mopey R.E.M. ever recorded. But he made it work by changing the arrangement and making the tone angry instead of mournful. In the webisode, he comes across like a complete dick, but this is two strong performances in a row; if Toby's not careful, Ryan could usurp his place in the Big Four.

Lukas, "Celebrity Skin": Was there a single lyric he got right? Either he was creating entirely new words or he was transposing lines from Verse A into Chorus B. At least he had the decency to cop to it, but that was bad, bad, bad. Plus, the more he does it, the less interesting the Tipsy McStaggering becomes, because it comes off like the act that it is.

Storm, "Changes": I've enjoyed ballsy rocker chick Storm much more than others (her "Anything Anything" has been in constant play on my iPod for the last week), but this was a nice change of pace. Could have been cabaret, but she has too much charisma for that, even in the black suit and the mood lighting. The lack of over-emoting (the one downside to her up-tempo stuff) also helped. Great voice, great presence, can stand up to the band and seems like the most sane person in the house; what's not to like?

Dana, "Baba O'Riley": Jordis' rendition of this in season one is one of my favorites from this entire series. This wasn't as good, but it was a lot better than I was expecting from Dana. She's always had the voice, but she seems to have made the leap to where I almost believe her when she's acting tough and rebellious. Like Ryan, she's moved up several notches in the last few weeks.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: The view from the bleachers

Since I got to attend the taping of tonight's "Rock Star" performance show on Sunday night, I thought it would be interesting to write up the show as it played from the theater and let you guys compare it to how it played on TV. (Of course, I also won't have time to watch the show tonight, so it's an easy way out.) These are the performances in order, sometimes with comments on the song, or on what the judges said that may or may not have made final cut (again, I'd be stunned if all but one or two of Newsted's comments made final cut) or on other things that probably didn't make it to air.

After the jump, in order...

Patrice, "Helter Skelter": I was a little too floored by the power of the House Band to pay close attention to Patrice, but what I noticed of the vocals were very good. Dave complained that he thought her stage presence was too cutesy, but it didn't look like it to me. Before she went on, they showed a lot of footage of her and Jill fighting over the right to sing this, and when they took a break to re-dress the set, the two of them hugged. (Then again, at the mansion concert, while almost all the other contestants -- save Lukas -- were hanging out and having fun, Patrice was sitting quietly in a corner, only getting up to sing on a couple of tunes. Maybe she doesn't really fit in with the group, I don't know.)

Josh, "Come As You Are": Josh is who he is, and try as he might to seem hardcore, he's a guy who can't resist smiling even on a Kurt Cobain song. I'm assuming Dave's "These guys are going to be playing at Wembley, not a coffee house" line made final cut, while Tommy's "I wanna see you break shit" didn't.

Storm, "Just What I Needed": Okay, if I didn't see the whole selling her sexuality thing in the premiere, I sure as hell do now. Not only was she being way too friendly with the microphone stand, but there was this long exchange with Tommy afterwards where he asked her to wear more revealing clothes so he could see all of her tattoos; she smiled coyly and said, "T0mmy, six letters.... Google." (Plus, as I mention in my article, she spent one commercial break showing everyone how she could place each leg behind her head.) There was also a good back and forth between Storm and Dave about her not being so self-conscious about the faces she makes (she deliberately didn't practice in front of a mirror this time.) She's shameless, but I still like her a lot as a performer.

Lukas, "Let's Spend the Night Together": They showed a clip at the top of the show of him complaining that he couldn't sing a song with "doo da doo doo doo da da doo doo" in it. Well, he rearranged all the "doo"s right the hell out. Honestly, though, I couldn't hear him at all over the band, so I just admired his ability to do that whole Jagger-esque strut/stagger around the stage. He's probably not much of a singer, but the jerk is fun to watch.

Jill, "All Right Now": She rips through it, though as with some of her previous songs, it is so very, very faithful to the original (even though the lead singer of Free was a guy) that I have no idea if she's a real singer or just a karaoke champ.

Ryan, "Fortunate Son": Ryan's a classic example of the House Band making somebody seem better than they probably are. From the back of the theater, he's moving around more and seems to be really feeling the music, but whenever I looked up at the monitors, he was so damn lifeless. The band spent a long, long time offering him advice. Dave suggested his voice sounded more like a beer commercial, and said, "I want to see you get the fuck up in their faces." Gilby asked him to flash a smile in a bit that went on forever.

Phil, "White Rabbit": Jason's big moment, and again I'm guessing it's going to be cut to shreds. There's a really big build-up to him taking the stage, with him slowly tossing off his jacket, then high-fiving his way through the crowd, etc., etc. And after Phil finished, they talked a lot about how Jason was shadowing him to see if they could bring him out of his shell. Don't know what, if any of all that survived, but the bass-playing alone is pretty kick-ass. Just straight-up doom. And he did liven up Phil; this was another one where I really couldn't hear a lot of the vocals, but he stopped his whole Sominex stumbling, and that was good. (And when he sang "Wonderwall" at the mansion party, I heard that he has a good voice. Who knows? Maybe he's this year's Marty, and he zooms past the others.)

Dana, "It's My Life": Great voice, one hundred percent wrong for this show and this band. I can't imagine virtually anything the judges said making it onto the show. At one point, they diss Bon Jovi (not exactly a way to get people to license their songs to you); at another, Dave tells her, "If you were on a singing contest that was a little further right on the dial, Taylor Hicks would be your janitor." (Then again, maybe that one did make it.)

Toby, "Runaway Train": Weird arrangement, low energy level, easily his weakest to date. In the comments, Tommy says that they want Toby to try to scare them like Lukas does, to which Toby replied, "I wanted to prove to you guys that I'm not just a dick who runs up and down." Newsted delivers another insightful but unexcerptable monologue about playing to the guy in the third tier of the stadium.

Magni, "Plush": I was preoccupied with something else during this one, but after watching Magni seem like a genuinely cool, low-key guy at the mansion, I may have to reassess him next week.

Zarya, "Everybody Hurts": She's crazy and annoying and should have gone home after the stunt last week, but that was one hell of a climax.

Jenny, "Drive": It's hard to reconcile the magnetic woman who I saw rock the mansion on "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with this mouse who a few hours earlier coasted through this Incubus song. Maybe the pressure's too much for her. Both Tommy and Dave came onto her during the comments.

Dilana, "Zombie": Just give her the prize already. Only way she doesn't win is if the guys in Supernova don't want to be overshadowed by their singer, because she is just awesome. A real original. (When they cut to the judges, Dave's first comment was, "Ohhhh, shit!!!" There's a long exchange that ain't getting anywhere near the broadcast where Dilana talks about the vocal coach helping teach her to sing in a head voice like Dolores from The Cranberries, and how proud she was to pull it off in rehearsal before deciding to go in a completely different direction for the final performance, which prompted a round of "Fuck Dolores!" cries from the judges.

Best of the night: Dilana, by a mile.
Bottom three: If we're basing it solely on this night, then some combo of Toby, Ryan, Jenny or Dana.

So how did my experience in the studio track with yours at home? Click here to read the full post

Is that a beer in your pants or are you just nervous?

Today's column: My trip to a taping of tonight's "Rock Star" and the party at the mansion afterwards.

In the comments to the last post, there are one or two nuggets from the "Veronica Mars" panel, but as I say there, I'm doing a solo interview with Rob Thomas tomorrow and didn't want to cover the same ground twice.

ABC is today. More later. Click here to read the full post

PARTY!!!!!!!

I'm moving at half-speed this morning after an awesome night of "Rock Star" goodness, first at a taping of tomorrow night's performance show, then at the mansion for the weekly party/acoustic jam concert featuring all the contestants and the guys from Supernova. Logistically, I should have stayed at the hotel to catch up on writing/watching/sleep, but totally worth it. Totally. It'll probably be the lead item in tomorrow's column, and whatever details don't make the final cut will pop up here. If nothing else, it oughta make recapping Tuesday's show a lot easier.

I'm sitting in the inaugural CW press conference right now, so don't have time for much more than the daily column link, which is mostly an account of the Katie Couric session yesterday (minus any reference to her wardrobe, which I'm saving for after I grill Charlie Gibson on his style choices).

With two yea's and no nay's to the idea of pop-up column links, I'm going to give it a try, at least through the balance of the tour. Anybody who finds them as annoying as I usually do, feel free to weigh in. Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: All singing, no talking

So, thanks to the glories of wi-fi and unobtrusive ear buds, I was able to watch all the "Rock Star" performances in the press conference ballroom before and in between sessions. Now, all I have are the actual performance clips, so I don't know what the judges said (though I hear they were much harsher than last week) or what the order was. So alphabetically speaking (by first name), more talk after the jump...

Chris on "Take Me Out": There are days when I prefer Marty Casey's version of this on the show last year to the Franz Ferdinand original. No danger of Chris overtaking either one. Far and away the most boring voice there; even with Matt's Duran Duran gaffe, Chris shoulda been gone last week.

Dana on "Born to be Wild": Good voice, but I don't believe her sexy bad girl thing at all.

Dilana on "Ring of Fire:" So is every female contestant obligated to wear a black cape at some point this season? When she dropped the thing and saw her in the Stevie Nicks witch costume, I think a little of her weird appeal was lost to me, because it feels less unique. Still, she has more magnetism than most of these people, and even with her accent showing through more this week, I'm just fascinated by the sound of her voice.

Jenny on "Tainted Love": Apparently, Jenny was sick last week, which helps explain the pedestrian vocals. I always like new arrangements, and while her voice is still no great shakes, a vast improvement on last week. Also, oddly, working the Stevie Nicks vibe.

Jill on "Violet": Okay, so last week my only concern was that she sounded a little too much like a Janis Joplin impersonator, and this week she comes on stage to do a Courtney Love song wearing a tattered wedding dress and holding a bouquet? No. Just no. Find your own damn personality, or I don't care what a great voice you have.

Josh on "With Arms Wide Open": Not his speed at all, and though he tried to turn it into a Josh Logan Joint with the smiling and the scatting and the syncopation, you could tell this wasn't his deal. I think he knows he's not going to win and is in it for the exposure, but if he can't find some way to seem credible on the harder stuff, he won't be around long enough for any label to take interest.

Lukas on "Don't Panic": After last week's beautifully drunken incoherence, Lukas goes all mellow and even tries to enunciate everything. Still, I like the weird little hobbit, and appreciated someone finding a way to sing a Chris Martin song so that it doesn't sound like a Chris Martin song minus the falsetto.

Magni on "My Generation": Dude is acting way too cool for school, and while cool is an integral part of rock, his feels practiced rather than earned. An improvement over his "Satisfaction," but I can't shake the feeling that his every gesture and facial expression seems to be screaming, "Why do you not all kneel before Magni?"

Patrice, "Heart-Shaped Box": The guitar distracts her at first, so much that she swallows the opening line. And given how often she stopped playing and left things to the House Band, she may have been better off without the thing. Good but not great vocals, and not as angry as I wanted with this song.

Phil, "If You Could Only See": I'm now bored by the whole ragdoll affectation, and the song is too sedate to begin with for him; it's like Garrity sleepwalking on "Rescue Me," only not funny.

Ryan Star, "Jumping Jack Flash": MSN really started giving me crap about this point, so I heard all the vocals but only saw occasional progression of the video. I prefer him a little more hostile like this, and without the guitar to tie him down like on "Iris."

Storm on "Surrender": She's got this powerful, husky voice and those amazing green eyes, and I wish she would stop trying to make every performance be about her exaggerrated facial expressions. Because when she stops trying to hypnotize you through the camera, she's really kick-ass. Also liked changing the "rolling on the couch" line to "doing it on the couch."

Toby, "Somebody Told Me": Ain't nothin boy band about this. Aeally good, faithful arrangement but not an imitation. Not only better than Ty's version last year, but the best of the night, hands down.

Zayra, "You Really Got Me": Why does she sound Russian? And why does she sound like a strangled cat? And then someone having an orgasm? Another one where the video was giving me problems, but it sounded awful.

What did everybody else think? And any particularly good non-performance moments I missed? Click here to read the full post

Potpourri

Two column links for the price of one this morning: a more detailed rant about what went wrong with the Emmy nominations, plus a triple-header preview of "Chappelle's Show: The Lost Episodes," the new season of "Monk" and USA's very annoying new "Psych."

I only watched the "Rock Star" results show live, and probably should have buffered it so I could skip through Brooke Burke's "hosting" efforts (she really makes you appreciate Seacrest). Last year, the bottom three had to sing INXS songs; since Supernova has no back-catalog, I wondered what they would have to do this time. (A choice of Motley Crue, Guns 'n Roses and Metallica songs?) Opening it up to pretty much any rock song that'll clear makes things more interesting, especially when a knucklehead like Matt goes and picks a Duran Duran song. From the minute he said the words "Duran Duran," you could see the band making up its mind to punt him, and the fact that it was a much harder arrangement and arguably a better vocal than Chris' didn't matter.

On Monday, I fly out to LA for the two and a half week long Television Critics Association press tour (aka "Death march with cocktails"). This means several things for this blog:

1)Press tour runs all day and well into the night most of the time, so I won't have much time for actual TV-viewing. Day-after reviews will be minimal at best, except on those occasions when some nice network drops a DVD screener off in my hotel room. I'll definitely review the next "Deadwood" and "Entourage," and after that I'll create an open thread every morning for people to discuss stuff, whether or not I saw it.

2)As in years past, I'm doing an official press tour blog for NJ.com. You can see previous editions here. (And if you go here, the entry at the very bottom gives a pretty thorough summary of press tour for anyone who doesn't know about it.) The interface is more primitive (no comments, no sub-links to specific posts), but rumor has it we're only a month or two away from purchasing better blogging software. In the meantime, every day I'll post a brief summary here of what's on the official blog, and anyone who wants to comment or ask questions about the event can do it here.

One of the events I'm most looking forward to is attending a taping of the "Rock Star" performance show, followed by the party back at the mansion. With a bunch of reporters invited, I'm guessing the party will be a bit less raucous (or, at least, powder-free) than your average bacchanal. Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: Ladies night

Since I say that "Rock Star" is better than "American Idol," I guess the least I can do is do a performance-by-performance review of the premiere the same way I do with "Idol." A mostly strong night, though, as with the early episodes of "Amazing Race," it always feels like there are too many people to keep track of. And after only one night, it looks like Brooke's question about whether a woman can front Supernova is irrelevant, since the women were head and shoulders above most of the men. More after the jump...

Storm Large, "Pinball Wizard": After that clip package, I really wanted to dislike her (the "people say I [fill in the egregious act here], but really I" school of reality show self-justification always annoys me), but this was a really strong opening. She overdoes some of the hyper stage mannerisms, but so did a lot of the season one contestants, and the ones with talent learned to tone it down (notably Marty). Stupid name, but if it really is hers, I've gotta hate on her parents, not her.

Ryan Star, "Iris": Speaking of names, I hope like hell that this is his real moniker, because borrowing the pseudonym of a season one female "Idol" contestant ain't a good credibility-generating move. Had a sort of poor man's Jakob Dylan thing going on that mostly worked for this cheesey song, but the last third felt even more blatantly like posing than Storm's. As the judges told so many of the other male contestants, I need to hear him do something a little rougher next time.

Toby Rand, "Knockin' on Heaven's Door": Strong voice, though with more vibratto than I like. Sort of a boy band performance, with the emoting and that Ace Young hand to the diaphragm move, but unlike Ace, this guy can sing.

Patrice Pike, "Somebody to Love": One of the best of the night, putting it all together: a powerful vocal that wasn't just an impersonation of the original, command of the stage, relationship with the camera, etc. For all of Storm's sex appeal in her clip package, Patrice was the one really making love to the audience (and the guitar player), but it felt natural, not desperate.

Magni, "Satisfaction": At least he has the self-awareness to acknowledge that being "one of the ten most recognized singers in Iceland" is like being the best surfer in Arizona. Now, I love this song, but it is one of the most overplayed numbers in rock history. You really have to destroy with it to justify the choice, and Magni didn't pull it off. He tried with all his different tricks: throwing out the chorus to the audience, flicking his tongue, that entitled "You will all kneel before Magni" palms-up gesture, etc. But even with a good voice, it was still the same "Satisfaction." Every time we cut back to the judges, one or more of them looked bored.

Zayra Alvarez, "Bring Me to Life": I hate this song, so it's hard for me to give this an honest assessment. Her accent overpowered the vocals at time, and I think a lot of what seemed good was the result of the laser show and the House Band kicking ass like it always does. I want to hear her on something else before I pass judgment, though.

Jenny Galt, "How You Remind Me": First Evanescence, now Nickelback? It's the Chris Daughtry Memorial portion of the evening! Yeesh. It's a good thing she played the guitar, because the song was way too low for her voice; she kept trying and failing to bring power to the vocals.

Josh Logan, "She Talks to Angels": Oddly looks like a dead ringer for J.D. in the clip package, then nothing at all like him on stage. I'll leave aside the scatting for now, because that's clearly the guy's thing, but I don't see it matching up with this group of musicians. But my biggest problem from the jump was the fact that this guy seems way too pleased with himself, either smiling broadly or outright laughing between each line. Dude, it's a song about heroin addiction. I expect the "Idol" contestants to not pay attention to what the lyrics are about, but this is rock 'n roll.

Matt Hoffer, "Yellow": Starts off avoiding the Chris Martin falsetto, which seems like a good call -- especially after he tries to do it during the chorus and makes my ears hurt. First real dud of the night.

Dilana, "Lithium": Okay, wtf was that? I have no idea if she's any good or not, but I was mesmerized by the whole thing, from the decision to stand rock still at the mic for the song's first two thirds to the complete spaz-out at the end. (Though she should've pulled the hood off at that point.) Very weird voice, sort of Laurie Anderson-ish at points. Definitely someone I want to see and hear more of.

Dana Andrews, "I'm the Only One": Stage mannerisms felt a little cliche (I don't know that I ever need to see a female singer rake her hand down her face again), and a pretty froggy, albeit powerful, voice. The judges liked this a lot more than I did.

Phil Ritchie, "Cult of Personality": Ty did this in last year's premiere, but it felt more like one of those early Marty performances, down to the way Phil seemed to flop around stage as if he had just been jolted with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity. The band was especially hot on this one, which is good, because the vocals were just a'ight, dawg. Even the judges, who seemed inclined to go easy on everybody, couldn't find much nice to say.

Jill Gioia, "Piece of My Heart": First of all, I never want to hear her talk again, and I say that as someone with a wife and many friends from Long Island. Second, she has that Jim Neighbors thing where the speaking and singing voice are light-years apart, thank God. She sounded so much like Janis, though, that I need to hear her do something else to figure out whether she's a good performer or just a good karaoke artist.

Chris Pierson, "Roxanne": Unlike Matt on "Yellow," he's smart enough to avoid attempting the falsetto throughout, but without it, there's nothing memorable about the performance. It's one of the most repetitive songs in rock history, especially the portion he excerpted, and you need some kind of vocal magic to make it work. I know the band attacked the new arrangement, but I think if Chris had a more interesting voice they wouldn't have cared. (Plus, I hope this doesn't scare the others away from rearranging the classics, because that's one of my favorite parts of the show.)

Lukas Rossi, "Rebel Yell": Forget what I said about Josh vaguely resembling the season one winner, because Lukas is our J.D.-alike. Let's see... Canadian? Check. Homless? Check. Cocky as hell? Check. Talented enough to justify the cockiness? Check, check, check. This is the best the band sounded all night, and he brought an intensity to match them, just completely shredding those vocals, staggering around stage as if drunk, etc. The first guy of the night who actually sounds like he might be a match with whatever Supernova turns out to be. You can see the judges sharing an "OMFG" reaction to the whole thing, which seemed about right.

Summing up: Lukas was probably the best of the night, with Patrice, Dilana and Storm way up there. Chris, Phil and Matt were the three weakest, and I'll be shocked if a guy doesn't go home tonight.

What did everybody else think? Click here to read the full post