Since when is "Who Wants to Be a Superhero" a trick question?

I think my schedule's going to be wonky for a while. I'm still re-adjusting to the time zone, and I have about a million DVDs and things on the TiVo to catch up on. I went into the office yesterday and spent more than an hour just opening all the mail that accumulated while I was gone, and just as I was walking out, feeling like I had accomplished something, the receptionist said, "Oh, Alan, that big pile over there is yours, too. Your desk was becoming a fire hazard."

First up, after my childhood-justifying meeting with Stan Lee and my hand-injuring encounter with Ty'Veculus, there was no way I wasn't going to watch "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?" Extremely cheesey but fun, especially if you're a raging geek like me. Stan the Man is, if anything, even stiffer than Donald Trump -- the bit where he threw a temper tantrum over the contestants' blatantly staged "party" was painful -- but the contestant mix is pretty good, even if the only two genuine comic book nuts went home in episode one. On the plus side, Cell Phone Girl is the only one who seems like a blatant famewhore, and Major Victory is so damn nuts that I think he's posessed by the undead ghost of Adam West. (And what a shock: the one contestant picked by the fanboys is a hottie in a low-cut gold lame bodysuit.) Not a bad little time-waster, though I hope future tasks will be less repetitively-edited (that, or they get a kid whose fake crying is more believable).

On the recommendation of some people on the "Life on Mars" thread, I checked out a little of "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace," which is a spoof of late '70s/early '80s cheese, a sort of "Galaxy Quest"-esque fake show written by and starring a hack British horror writer. (I'm explaining this badly; forgive me, but I'm jet-lagged.) What I've seen so far is funny (especially the "performance" by Marenghi's publisher), but it doesn't feel like it has a lot of legs. After all, only three out of the six "Police Squad" episodes are any good, and those three all felt more layered than this. But I'll finish this one up and give next week's a shot.

Got through the last two "lost" episodes of "Chappelle's Show," and now I understand why Comedy Central only wanted to send the first one out. Pretty much anything that was good at all was used in that first one, though I will never complain about watching Dave's Lil John impression ("WHAT?"). And I can see how the racial fairies sketch would have made Dave uncomfortable, if not "give up $50 million and flee to Africa" uncomfortable.

The two most recent "Entourage" episodes were two of this uneven season's strongest, mainly because the writers played to the show's biggest strength: letting Jeremy Piven go absolutely berserk at all the things in the world he can't control. Ari being unable to reach Vince unless he got Drama a job was brilliant -- as was Lloyd swooping in to save the day. The threesome story was also a rare interesting focus on Eric (though, typically, most of the entertaining scenes about it featured Eric talking about it with the other guys). Definitely one of those "be careful what you wish for" scenarios.

I watched both the post-fight "Deadwood" episodes while I was out in LA, both times right before drifting off to sleep after a long day at tour, which I realize is not the ideal condition to be watching this show. What to me felt like two fairly uneventful hours were interpreted by Matt to be much deeper than that. I don't know whether he's right or wrong in his analysis, but in my fatigue mostly what I noticed was how pointless all the scenes with the theater company seem. I will never complain about an appearance by Brian Cox, and Langriche makes a good foil for Al, but when it's just Jack and his actors, I'm both bored and frustrated by the feeling I get that Milch planned to resolve most of their story in the now-nonexistent fourth season.

I didn't have a chance to comment on either "Contender" episode after the fact. I was amused that the premiere played out almost exactly like the season one opener, with the least-heralded fighter knocking off the alpha dog (even Alfonso commented on it in show two). And, of course, the winning streak continued in episode two, though the fight wasn't as competitive. Jeff Fraza has to be feeling like a jinx at this point; whether he's on the blue team or the gold, the same bad luck keeps happening. Will he get the mumps before he gets to fight? I know some people have complained that the lower budget is too noticeable, but I don't miss Sly or the challenges or even the celebs in the audience, and I felt both fights were shot and edited at least as well as the early season one bouts.

Some people commented on "Life on Mars" in that post, but has anybody given "Eureka" a shot?

Still have to watch the most recent "Rock Star" performances and some other stuff, but this blog has been dark for too many days in a row. Time to hit the "publish post" button. Hopefully back with real-time "Deadwood" and "Entourage" reviews on Monday. Click here to read the full post

Homeward bound

Today's column: a wrap-up of press tour, with some duplication of things that appeared only on the blog (like the anchor wardrobe thing).

Oh, and I saw "Deadwood" last night while packing, so Cone up. Discuss while I'm in the air, and I'll try to weigh in tomorrow. Click here to read the full post

Close to home

Last full day at the tour, and I get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to fly home. I updated the official blog for the final time with a couple of posts, one about how "Prison Break" plans to deal with ABC stealing all of their recurring guest stars, the other about the surprisingly funny session for Fox's mostly unfunny "Happy Hour." Meanwhile, over in the actual column, Peter Liguori takes his turn at bat on the whole "Why should people watch serial dramas that could be canceled early?" question, and actually gets some wood on the pitch.

If I don't have a chance to do the link before I head to the airport tomorrow, there should be a press tour wrap-up column running under the Alan Sepinwall on TV banner. Click here to read the full post

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

After wilting in the heat of NBC's party Saturday night (the recorded temperature at one point was 111 degrees, the highest in Pasadena since the 19th century), I needed some air conditioning therapy, and with a small afternoon window yesterday, I went to see "Clerks II" at LA's ArcLight, a movie theater that makes me weep over the multiplexes I have to visit at home.

Short version: Loved it, but I'm biased. Longer, more spoiler-y version after the jump...

The original "Clerks" holds special meaning to me. It came out when I was a college sophomore, still new to the world of indendent films. In the span of a few weeks, I went to screenings for this and "Pulp Fiction," and did my first phone interview with an honest-to-goodness filmmaker in Kevin Smith. (Who was, in retrospect, much gentler with me than he needed to be given my completely unformed interviewing technique. I believe one of the questions I asked, God help me, was, "So now that you've made the quintessential movie about convenience stores, what are you going to do next?") While I wasn't living the exact personal circumstances of Dante or Randal, I was about the same age and feeling the same dislocation -- that "Is this what I should be doing?" question that's an even more dominant theme of the sequel.

I have friends like Fienberg who felt the more philosophical parts of "Clerks II" were just getting in the way of the comedy, but I liked them. Again, my life (including a wife, a daughter and a stable, non-soul-deadening job) doesn't really resemble our heroes', but there are still those moments where I stop and ask the same questions about my future. Now, I saw "Jersey Girl" when Julia was only a few months old and I was struggling to adapt to the demands of parenthood, so that movie should have spoken to me as much as "Clerks II" did, but I was just as bored by it as the rest of the world. I think Dante and Randal are just much more specific, interesting and -- most important -- funny characters than Affleck was in "Jersey Girl."

And "Clerks II" is damn funny, possibly Smith's funniest overall movie since "Mallrats." "Chasing Amy" and "Dogma" are both better films, but nothing in either one made me laugh nearly as much or as hard as the scene where Elias explains to Randal why he and his girlfriend don't have sex, or Jay's Jame Gumb impression (and I'm not talking about the "It puts the lotion in the basket scene"), or Jay and Silent Bob's get-what-you-pay-for free meal.

I loved all the little call-backs to the original, whether it was Dante's nail polish fetish or the mention of the funeral or, especially, that last shot in the Quick Stop. When the screen faded to black and white, Soul Asylum came on the soundtrack and we saw the milk lady continuing her futile quest, a feeling of almost pure joy came over me. Change in life is great, but sometimes the best things are the ones that stay the same.

Anybody else see it yet? If so, thoughts? Click here to read the full post

Look at the law man beating up the wrong guy

One link I forgot before: I review "Life on Mars," a cool new BBC show about a cop who travels back in time to 1973. Click here to read the full post

PARTY!!!!!!

Last night we held the TCA Awards and all the attendant wackiness. Angela, Meredith and Kevin from "The Office" and Dr. Weber from "Grey's Anatomy" were all good, albeit confused, sports who stuck around afterwards to participate in very silly rituals like The TCA Alt-Awards (awards about critics, like the one most likely to quit and become a publicist or the one best suited to hosting a talk show) and Transcript Theatre (Weber did a dramatic reading from Mr. T's session about why he pities the fool).

You can find an account of the more serious parts of the evening over at the tour blog. (Below that is a brief write-up on NBC's punishing 10000 degree party.) Meanwhile, today's column is, of course, on "Studio 60" vs. "30 Rock."

Because I was too busy trying to recruit Sara Ramirez to join in Transcript Theatre, I missed "Deadwood" and "Entourage." Cone of Silence up. Give me a few days after I get back to Jersey on Wednesday and we can hopefully return to the old routine. Click here to read the full post

"Heroes" mystery solved

Back when I did my Pilot Watch on "Heroes," there was some confusion over whether there was a different version of the pilot other than the one critics were sent. Well, the "Heroes" session is just wrapping up, and Tim Kring explained that the original pilot was two hours -- and featured scenes with Gregg Grunberg and Leonard Roberts, who aren't in the final version -- but that the show is going to premiere as a one hour, and Grunberg and Roberts will be introduced in episodes two and four, I think. (Grunberg made a joke about how he's superstitious about not being in pilots, since he wasn't in the "Felicity" or "Alias" pilots, but was in the one for "Lost" and wound up getting eaten.)

So there. Off to write a review of "Life on Mars," which is cool enough that I'm skipping a few NBC sessions to deal with. I have to say, it's been a very good tour, and a lot of that has to do with the sheer number of good shows we're seeing. Click here to read the full post

Hitting the links

Some link catch-up: today's column is Marc Cherry's elaborate mea culpa for season two of "Desperate Housewives," yesterday's is about the "CSI" vs. "Grey's Anatomy" timeslot battle, and up at the press tour blog right now is Matthew Perry out-doing Taye Diggs with the line of the tour. Click here to read the full post

This is why he's "the funny anchor"

Brian Williams on the whole controversial anchor wardrobe issue. Click here to read the full post

Hey, somebody really is 'Watching'

Best announcement from NBC's executive session: "Nobody's Watching" lives. Click here to read the full post

Talking to Mr. Cuse

I'm not saying I believe that he and Damon know where all of this is going, but Carlton Cuse talks a good game. Click here to read the full post

Return to me

In which Calista Flockhart and I have an odd yet satisfying reunion. Click here to read the full post

Charlie Gibson, clotheshorse

I am a man of my word, so while Charlie Gibson was appearing via satellite from Cyprus, I asked him who he was wearing. Click here to read the full post

Deadwood: Cone of Silence lifted

I got to watch "Deadwood" last night before bed. I have to run to a press conference right now (Charlie Gibson via satellite from Jerusalem, and there's been some very healthy debate among the rest of the TCA over whether I still have to fulfill my promise to Katie Couric and ask Charlie about his wardrobe), so I don't have time for any real reviewing, but I figured I'd open the floor up. If I have time later today, I'll either pipe in with the comments, or maybe update this post. Click here to read the full post

Rescue Me: Are you kidding me?

Today's column is me once again getting mad at "Rescue Me" for the end of last night's episode. I'm frankly too annoyed to write about it twice, but feel free to comment below. Click here to read the full post

Rock Star: The view from the bleachers

Since I got to attend the taping of tonight's "Rock Star" performance show on Sunday night, I thought it would be interesting to write up the show as it played from the theater and let you guys compare it to how it played on TV. (Of course, I also won't have time to watch the show tonight, so it's an easy way out.) These are the performances in order, sometimes with comments on the song, or on what the judges said that may or may not have made final cut (again, I'd be stunned if all but one or two of Newsted's comments made final cut) or on other things that probably didn't make it to air.

After the jump, in order...

Patrice, "Helter Skelter": I was a little too floored by the power of the House Band to pay close attention to Patrice, but what I noticed of the vocals were very good. Dave complained that he thought her stage presence was too cutesy, but it didn't look like it to me. Before she went on, they showed a lot of footage of her and Jill fighting over the right to sing this, and when they took a break to re-dress the set, the two of them hugged. (Then again, at the mansion concert, while almost all the other contestants -- save Lukas -- were hanging out and having fun, Patrice was sitting quietly in a corner, only getting up to sing on a couple of tunes. Maybe she doesn't really fit in with the group, I don't know.)

Josh, "Come As You Are": Josh is who he is, and try as he might to seem hardcore, he's a guy who can't resist smiling even on a Kurt Cobain song. I'm assuming Dave's "These guys are going to be playing at Wembley, not a coffee house" line made final cut, while Tommy's "I wanna see you break shit" didn't.

Storm, "Just What I Needed": Okay, if I didn't see the whole selling her sexuality thing in the premiere, I sure as hell do now. Not only was she being way too friendly with the microphone stand, but there was this long exchange with Tommy afterwards where he asked her to wear more revealing clothes so he could see all of her tattoos; she smiled coyly and said, "T0mmy, six letters.... Google." (Plus, as I mention in my article, she spent one commercial break showing everyone how she could place each leg behind her head.) There was also a good back and forth between Storm and Dave about her not being so self-conscious about the faces she makes (she deliberately didn't practice in front of a mirror this time.) She's shameless, but I still like her a lot as a performer.

Lukas, "Let's Spend the Night Together": They showed a clip at the top of the show of him complaining that he couldn't sing a song with "doo da doo doo doo da da doo doo" in it. Well, he rearranged all the "doo"s right the hell out. Honestly, though, I couldn't hear him at all over the band, so I just admired his ability to do that whole Jagger-esque strut/stagger around the stage. He's probably not much of a singer, but the jerk is fun to watch.

Jill, "All Right Now": She rips through it, though as with some of her previous songs, it is so very, very faithful to the original (even though the lead singer of Free was a guy) that I have no idea if she's a real singer or just a karaoke champ.

Ryan, "Fortunate Son": Ryan's a classic example of the House Band making somebody seem better than they probably are. From the back of the theater, he's moving around more and seems to be really feeling the music, but whenever I looked up at the monitors, he was so damn lifeless. The band spent a long, long time offering him advice. Dave suggested his voice sounded more like a beer commercial, and said, "I want to see you get the fuck up in their faces." Gilby asked him to flash a smile in a bit that went on forever.

Phil, "White Rabbit": Jason's big moment, and again I'm guessing it's going to be cut to shreds. There's a really big build-up to him taking the stage, with him slowly tossing off his jacket, then high-fiving his way through the crowd, etc., etc. And after Phil finished, they talked a lot about how Jason was shadowing him to see if they could bring him out of his shell. Don't know what, if any of all that survived, but the bass-playing alone is pretty kick-ass. Just straight-up doom. And he did liven up Phil; this was another one where I really couldn't hear a lot of the vocals, but he stopped his whole Sominex stumbling, and that was good. (And when he sang "Wonderwall" at the mansion party, I heard that he has a good voice. Who knows? Maybe he's this year's Marty, and he zooms past the others.)

Dana, "It's My Life": Great voice, one hundred percent wrong for this show and this band. I can't imagine virtually anything the judges said making it onto the show. At one point, they diss Bon Jovi (not exactly a way to get people to license their songs to you); at another, Dave tells her, "If you were on a singing contest that was a little further right on the dial, Taylor Hicks would be your janitor." (Then again, maybe that one did make it.)

Toby, "Runaway Train": Weird arrangement, low energy level, easily his weakest to date. In the comments, Tommy says that they want Toby to try to scare them like Lukas does, to which Toby replied, "I wanted to prove to you guys that I'm not just a dick who runs up and down." Newsted delivers another insightful but unexcerptable monologue about playing to the guy in the third tier of the stadium.

Magni, "Plush": I was preoccupied with something else during this one, but after watching Magni seem like a genuinely cool, low-key guy at the mansion, I may have to reassess him next week.

Zarya, "Everybody Hurts": She's crazy and annoying and should have gone home after the stunt last week, but that was one hell of a climax.

Jenny, "Drive": It's hard to reconcile the magnetic woman who I saw rock the mansion on "Smells Like Teen Spirit" with this mouse who a few hours earlier coasted through this Incubus song. Maybe the pressure's too much for her. Both Tommy and Dave came onto her during the comments.

Dilana, "Zombie": Just give her the prize already. Only way she doesn't win is if the guys in Supernova don't want to be overshadowed by their singer, because she is just awesome. A real original. (When they cut to the judges, Dave's first comment was, "Ohhhh, shit!!!" There's a long exchange that ain't getting anywhere near the broadcast where Dilana talks about the vocal coach helping teach her to sing in a head voice like Dolores from The Cranberries, and how proud she was to pull it off in rehearsal before deciding to go in a completely different direction for the final performance, which prompted a round of "Fuck Dolores!" cries from the judges.

Best of the night: Dilana, by a mile.
Bottom three: If we're basing it solely on this night, then some combo of Toby, Ryan, Jenny or Dana.

So how did my experience in the studio track with yours at home? Click here to read the full post

Potent quotables

Go over to the official blog for two very funny quotes from Taye Diggs and America Ferrera. In particular, "I'm Taye Diggs!" is now moving into the everyday conversation of everyone in the room. It may top "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" as my number one "I'm too cool for you" line. Click here to read the full post

David Rosenthal, sane man

New on the official blog: a transcript of my interview with the seemingly level-headed new "Gilmore Girls" showrunner. Click here to read the full post

ABC's of scheduling

In case anyone cares, the ABC premiere dates. Click here to read the full post

Is that a beer in your pants or are you just nervous?

Today's column: My trip to a taping of tonight's "Rock Star" and the party at the mansion afterwards.

In the comments to the last post, there are one or two nuggets from the "Veronica Mars" panel, but as I say there, I'm doing a solo interview with Rob Thomas tomorrow and didn't want to cover the same ground twice.

ABC is today. More later. Click here to read the full post