Wednesday, October 08, 2008

"Barney's movie had heart, but Football in the Groin had a football in the groin."

Since the debate either pre-empted Tuesday night programming or prompted the networks to air repeats (other than the CW, and I'm taking a break from "90210"), it's open question time: what one pop culture quote do you find yourself using most in everyday conversation?

For me, it's the one in the subject line, from "The Simpsons" episode "A Star Is Burns," in which Springfield hosts a film festival and Homer and Marge wind up ont eh judges' panel with Jay Sherman from "The Critic." Despite it being the one episode Matt Groening refuses to watch (because he feels Fox forced them to include Jay Sherman as a promotional gimmick), it actually has a whole bunch of lines I use all the time ("I was saying 'Boo-urns,'" "On closer inspection, these are loafers," and, especially, "It's not that tough being a film cricket.") But the one about "Football in the Groin" (and Homer can't even get the title right; Hans Moleman's opus is actually called "Man Getting Hit By Football") says so much about lowest common denominator entertainment that it practically comes up daily for me.

So what's yours?


David J. Loehr said...

"Don't mince words, Bones. What do you really think?"

"I'm shocked--shocked--to find gambling going on here."

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

I'm sure there are others--I do use "Football in the groin" in much the same manner--but that's what I can think of off the top of my head.

bill said...

Two from Caddyshack:
1. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
2. Nice [item of clothing], looks good on you.

One from Young Frankenstein:
1. Could be worse... could be raining.

two from Joe Versus the Volcano:
1. Very exciting... as a luggage problem. (Just swap out luggage for anything else -- Very exciting... as an MS Word problem. )
2. I have no response to that.

This closely related Elaine line from Seinfeld I still use:
1. I am speechless, I am without speech.

Bobman said...

I could fill a book, and may have ot revisit this thread later, but the ones that come immediately to mind are :

"Far be it for me..." (Paulie Walnuts. My family and I use this all the time, and when someone says it we all raise our hand up like Paulie used to)

"Shut uppa you face" (to which one of my friends must reply "shut up YOUR face", from the Linguo episode of the Simpsons)

"Blech, I'll take a crab juice." (anytime anyone suggests Mountain Dew, or really any other disgusting food. From "Homer vs NYC". Klavkalash!)

KLE said...

I have a feeling we're going to see lot of Python and Simpson's quotes and references here. Mine also include a Princess Bride and some Star Wars, which is big around here with 4 and 8 yo boys.

Our usually get mutated to fit the moment:

"Bring out your dead" becomes "Bring out your laundry" or "Bring out your recycling", etc.

"I'm not dead yet" and "He's only mostly dead" come up surprisingly often, usually when mocking lame tv or movie plot twists (think House at the 40 minute mark).

There was a Simpson's episode where Homer was envious of the dog's food and Marge pointed out the it was just snouts and things, and Homer said "mmmmm, snouts". So now tasty snacks are referred to in our home as snouts.

Another Simpson's episode (and these are going way back because we haven't actually watched the Simpsons for ages) Homer won a giant sandwich, like a 10 foot long sub, and he kept it around and kept eating it well past its prime, to the point where it was making him sick and hallucinate but he kept eating it. My husband is inclined to think leftovers will last forever, so now things in our fridge are "Homer's." "Is this Homer's salsa? Better throw it out."

"Luke, I am your father" mutates to include the kids' names and sometimes mother. Lots of references to the dark side of the force, especially regarding the children's behavior

Anonymous said...

First thoughts: Yeah, another vote for "shocked, shocked to find [insert observation] going on here."

Two Futurama references -- "Technically correct. Which is the best kind of correct." And a continual desire for Blernsday, so we could get our work done.

And as I listed in a thread on another site, from Sports Night: "You gotta separate the stuff from the stuff." Loses something when William H. Macy's not saying it, though.

KLE said...

Joe vs the Volcano - we often have "brain clouds"

David J. Loehr said...

"Bite my shiny metal ass."

How could I have forgotten that?

Dan said...

British TV is king of the catchphrases. Pretty much every comedy and sketch show series produced here involves catchphrases, dating back to Monty Python and probably beyond. Check out Little Britain USA on HBO every Sunday for one every 10 seconds. Any Fast Show fans here, or is Johnny Depp the only North American fan of that sketch series? You'd OD on catchphrases watching that!

Anonymous said...

I quote that Simpsons episode all the time too. Especially the line you cited but also, "Get me his non-union Mexican equivalent!"

Tish said...

Too many to name from the Simpsons, but here are the top few:

"I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try." From the Laddie episode.

"Oh Lisa, it's not that I don't understand, it's just that I don't care." Has to be said in a condescending voice. From the episode in which Lisa has a crush on her teacher.

"Thank you in advance for your service to our organization." Works well anytime I ask my son to do his chores. From the episode in which Bart takes ADD medication.

"Your theories are intriguing and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter." Not sure on the episode. We use that anytime someone has a lame idea.

Also, from 30 Rock, "Blerg!" and "mind grapes" come up quite a bit around here. And how can you resist "That's what she said?" There are just too many opportunities, and it's pure lameness is what makes it funny.

Matt said...

I've only watched part of last night's "90210," but they gave Jessica Walter something to do again, which is always a plus.

And "Blurgh!" is a good all-purpose expression of displeasure.

Garrett said...

I find myself replicating a lot of Tom Scharpling's mannerisms from The Best Show on WFMU, "What are you, bragging?" in particular.

I also steal from Newsradio a lot:
"Sarcasm - the last refuge of sons of bitches."
"You're a Scorpio - I've grown accustomed to your sting."
"You're from (friend's podunk hometown). Artificial light is fascinating to you."

bill said...

Don't remember where I go it from, but a popular one at work when asked if a job can be done: "Technically, it doesn't violate the laws of physics."

Rev/Views said...

I'm terrible for quoting pop culture.

"What the f**k did I do?" & "Happy now b**ch?" - The Wire

"Hey you guys" - Goonies

Plenty of Bender lines make it into my life. In part because I have the same attitude as him. Some of them include:
"Lies!! Lies and Slander!"
"Who are you, and why should I care?"
"When I grow up, I wanna be a steam shovel!" (I normally insert something inappropriate instead of steam shovel).
"Goodbye loosers whom I've always hated."
I'll stop there on that one. :P

When I used to work retail:
"If for any reason you're not satisfied with our service, I hate you." - Futurama (Oh yes, I got to work in one of those shops where you can be rude to the customers)

"That's a shame" - Seinfeld

"Steve Holt!", "Mr. F" & "I've made a huge mistake" - Arrested Development
Several of us also make the W for Tony Wonder when saying Wonder.

"Skip to the end" - Spaced

"That's what she said" - The Office (The ongoing game here is to use it as inappropriately as possible)

"___ Suit Up!" - HIMYM

"Did you get that thing I sent ya?" - Peter Potamus in Harvey Birdman: AaL

"I have a cunning plan" - Black Adder

These are just the ones I'm aware of so... Yeah, I pop culture reference a lot. I guess I don't have any original words of my own.

Steve B said...

"Come ON!"

"I think I just blue myself."

Pretty much anything from Arrested Development. But I'll use, "Come ON!" At least once a week.

Steve B said...

Oh. I almost forgot to say: "Her?"

Anonymous said...

Wow. Good question. There's way more than I could ever remember. Off the top of my head:

"That's what she said" (The Office)

"Its a complicated case. . . Lot of ins, lot of outs, lotta interested parties" (The Big Lebowski)

"This is not Nam, this is bowling. There are rules" (The Big Lebowski)

My husband and I go back and forth with "committees" for this and that - like with Dwight asking Jim if he could join the committee to oversee party planning, Jim tells him "permission denied". That's always fun.

"Inconceivable" - Princess Bride (also, "I do not think it means what you think it means").

"Crackers don't matter" - Farscape

Anonymous said...

D'oh! - The Simpsons

I don't think the hard stuff will come down for some time now - Caddyshack

Charge it to the Underhills - Fletch

Anonymous said...

"Mongo only pawn in game of life" from Blazing Saddles

"I don't think that means what you think that means" from Princess Bride

"So this is it. We're going to die." from the original Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. This is usually followed by my friends and I playing out rest of the scene, right up to...
"...I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was a boy"
"Why? What did she tell you?"
"I don't know. I didn't listen."

Anonymous said...
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Matter-Eater Lad said...

"That sentimental MFer just cost us money!" has become our ritual chant upon seeing a Wire cast member in anything.

From Simpsons Halloween specials:

"He came to life. Good for him!"
"Mmm...forbidden donut..."

From the British comedy Black Books:

"Uuup! Sat on m'self!"
"What were you thinking, what was possibly going through your mind, when you decided to buy a wicker toilet?"

Anonymous said...

3 from Arrested Development...

"Come ON!"


(singing) "For British eyes only..."

And 2 from How I Met Your Mother...
"It's going to be legen - wait for it - dary!"

"Ding dong. What's that? The doorbell?!?"

Steve B said...

"You mean I'm gonna stay this color?!"

"These cans! He hates these cans! More Cans!"

If you're ever feeling bad, just watch The Jerk. It perks me up every time.

Anonymous said...

I use a lot of the ones already mentioned here, especially "D'oh!" (to the point where I now have to apologize for letting my Homer show).

"You're goddamn right I do, so here come two for you: shut the f*** up!"

The "Mos Eisley spaceport" quote (substituting whatever town I'm talking about as the "hive of scum and villainy").

"We said, 'Meh."

"And I'm not easily impressed...WOW, a blue car!" (I use this at least three or four times a week).

"[Insert town here]...S**t, I'm still only in [same town]" (usually use this when I'm stuck in traffic).

Anonymous said...

"It's nice to be nice to the nice."
- Frank Burns

Anonymous said...

If you're ever feeling bad, just watch The Jerk. It perks me up every time.

"I'm picking out a Thermos for you! Not an ordinary Thermos for you!"

Matter-Eater Lad said...

Forgot one from King of the Hill:

"This is my purse! I don't know you!"

Anonymous said...

I've begun substituting quotes from tv and film into my language so much that I've come to realize I have essential no conversational skills left. And that speaking to someone without a similar pop cultural literacy can become awkward.

"I've made a huge mistake," "Her?" and "Blergh!" are probably the most common.

"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!" (Ralph Wiggum)

"Well, kids, you've tried and failed. The lesson is, never try" (Homer Simpson)

All of my home computers are named using Simpsons or Arrested Development references (Stair Car, Evergreen Terrace, Little Dude, Banana Stand, Steve Holt!)

"The Chinaman is not the issue" (The Big Lebowski-- in regards to anything irrelevant)

"It's not a tumor" (I don't remember even watching Kindergarten Cop at this point, but use the famous line in a bad Schwarzenegger imitation in regards to anything involving health issues.)

I keep looking for an opportunity to quote Homer's speech to Bart about losing the dog:
Your tears aren't going to bring him back, unless they smell like dog food. So you can sit here eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to bring him back, or you can go out there and find your dog!

BF said...

Is it disturbing that my most oft-used catch phrase originates from Demolition Man?

"What's your boggle?"

Taleena said...

"Blech, I'll take a crab juice." (anytime anyone suggests Mountain Dew, or really any other disgusting food. From "Homer vs NYC". Klavkalash!)

Oh Yes! This is a standard at our house too.

"Price check on Pig Snout" from Perfect Strangers whenever there is a price check going on at the grocery store

"If your going to pull a circus out of your a$$ you better stand up." from the Family Guy.

"these aren't the droids (cookies, parents, etc.) you're looking for." accompanied by the hand wave.

"Blucher!" (horse whinnying included)

"You are the brute squad" at chore time

"Beverage Here...maaaaaannnnnn!"

and the all purpose "Not a Finger!!!" as best you can approximate Darin McGavin's spluttering rage from Christmas Story

are the most used but there are lots more.

are the one

Adam said...

Just yesterday, speaking at a legal symposium, I dropped a "But if you're the police, who will police the police?" with Homer Simpson responding "Coast Guard?"

Most-used in our household, though, is probably the "$20? But I wanted a peanut!" sequence.

Anonymous said...

Almost as good a thread as the Knock-Knock joke one.

Favorite Simpsons, which I invariably use when talking about vegetarianism:

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: No! Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, maaaagical animal.

@ Matter-Eater Lad--Thank you. There wasa period in my life when watching the scence with "He came to life!...Good for him!" was the only thing that would cheer me up.

I know I'm going to kick myself on this one, but I use this one from The Wire at work:

"There you go, giving a f*** when it ain't your turn to give a f***."

I keep thinking of lines from Better Off Dead, a seriously underrated movie:

"What's your name?"
"My favorite name."

Tosy And Cosh said...

The one I probably use most often is from (of course) The Simpsons, but it's more about Castaneletta's delivery than anything else. In the Itchy and Scratchy Movie ep, when we flash forward to Homer finally taking Justice of the Supreme Court Bart to see the I&S movie, Homer asks for an explaation of which one is Itchy and which is Scratchy. When Bart explains that Itchy is the mouse, Homer mutters, in a wonderfully tired and bitter understated tone, "Itchy's a jerk." I use that all the time, whenever anyone complains about teh malfeasance of another. ("Mom forgot my birthday!" "Mom's a jerk.")

Also use "That's good!" from the Halloween episode with the frogurt, a lot. And "Explain how!" from the $20 can buy many peanuts gag, used to fein interest in the obvious.

Austin said...

From the Big Lebowski whenever someone's phone is ringing that they obviously don't want to answer:

"Phone's ringing, dude."

From Arrested Development whenever asked to do something I don't want to do:

"What, what, so the guy in the $5,000 suit is just going to [insert activity here]?! Come ON!"

From Miller's Crossing along those same lines:

"You not going to make me [insert activity here]? Like a dumb animal?"

Those are the ones I use most, and I'm sure there are more that at this point I might not even realize are references anymore.

Tom said...

"It's got what plants crave." Idiocracy.

Anonymous said...

"That's some shameful shit right there." - Cheese, The Wire

And of course, "COME ON!"

Anonymous said...


(Carry on.)

derrickvee said...

nuts to that, I'm going to the movies.

marge: you ruined a perfectly good jacket
homer: correction, TWO perfectly good jackets (or other topical noun)

this unchecked aggression will not stand
-the dude

this is our concern, dude

Anonymous said...

Oooh, I'm terrible with the quoting. I use many of those already posted and I'll add...

"Ah, I sous-stand." (Friends; Phoebe, when she learned that "sous" meant "under" in French.)

"Get out of the WAY, jackass." (Friends) I use this one in traffic quite a bit.

"What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood." (Friends)

"It's sass, right? You're sassing me." (The American President)

"That boy's wicked smaht." (Good Will Hunting)

Any time anyone in my family says, "To make a long story short..." someone will cut in with "Too late." (Clue)

Reminisces and "Back in my day..." speeches are always met with, "I remember when this was all farmland as far the eye could see. Old man Peabody owned all of this. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees." (Back to the Future)

Whenever my brother and I get in a mock arguement one of us will pull out "You f***ing hit me with the phone, d*ck!" (Scream)

jana said...

"...your Jedi mind tricks will not work on me."

Anonymous said...

The Coen brothers are definitely big for me. From Lebowski:

"You're not wrong, [Name], you're just an a**hole";
-"Shut up, Donny, you're out of your element!," and of course:
-"That [object] really tied the room together".

I also use the "I am shocked, shocked" construction all the time.

And from Buffy, when a friend says something ridiculous: "Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic"; or, as a threat, said deadpan, "if you [behavior], I'll kill you with a shovel." In fact, I suspect I use Whedonisms all the time without even realizing I'm doing it.

Finally, from Arrested Development, I second "I've made a huge mistake," as well as "Marry me," "NO TOUCHING!" and "I've got the worst f***ing attorneys".

jana said...

"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!" --The Jerk

Shut. Up. --Elaine from Seinfeld

Maybe I should start a list and *then* post them all! Sorry.

jana said...
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Anonymous said...

Capt. Renault's "I'm shocked--shocked--to find gambling going on in this establishment" gets used a lot, but what gets lost is the moment that made it a great line.

The croupier comes from the back room, hands Capt. Renault the loot, and says "your winnings, sir."

Oh well, we'll always have Paris.

Anonymous said...

Like everyone else here, I do this way too much.
Animal House: You f#cked up, you trusted us.
Fletch: It's all ball bearings nowadays. (My senior yearbook quote)
Midnight Run: Are you doing the litmus configuration?
Seinfeld: That's a shame. And Jerry to Gerorge when he bought the huge Russian hat, "Why didn't you get the big one."
Simpsons: I was saying Boo-urns.
Arrested Development: Her?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I almost forgot: Broadcast News!

The ONLY good thing about being fired from a job a few years back was that, when my faux-sympathetic boss said "If there's ever ANYthing I can do...," I finally got to say, "Well, I certainly hope you'll die soon."

Also, "Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?," and many others.

Anonymous said...

"That s--- is on YOU." -Avon

Also, Austin, who quoted Lebowski, Arrested Development, and Miller's Crossing- I think I love you.

Anonymous said...

"I always have a quotation for everything, it saves original thinking." - Lord Peter Wimsey

Obviously, I adore the episode referenced in the post, and use "Boo-urns" A LOT. But it does not contain my favourite Simpson's "review" of all time: "That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch."

"Sometimes I think you WANT to fail!"
"Shut up, just shut up!"
- Simpsons, Two Guys from Kabul, in the episode where Bart gets a crush on new neighbour Laura.

"I can't believe you don't shut up."
-Simpsons, Apu to Homer

"Life in a box is better than no life at all."
-Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead

"Try to be more careful."
-R&G Are Dead. The funny is all in how it's said.

"Phone is ringin'. Oh my God."
-The Beastie Boys (when the phone is ringing)

"In your face, Space Coyote!"
-Simpsons, the Guatemalan Insanity Peppers episode, used whenever triumphing over anyone

"Would you like a beer or would you like to drink out of the toilet?"
- Kids In The Hall, whenever offering someone refreshment. But it has to be someone who gets the joke or you get strange looks

"Coppers, Jerry!"
"No, Jerry, I think that's the police!"
"That's even worse!"
-Kids In The Hall, whenever you hear a siren

-Simpsons, when Homer realizes he's built a barn instead of a pool.

I could go on forever with just Simpsons and KITH references, I think. So fun to see what other people use regularly.

Anonymous said...

"Nobody f***s with the Jesus." (Big Lebowski)

The exaggerated "Oooohs" when anyone on the Sopranos would get upset.

"Watch the leather, maaaan" and "That's what I love about high school girls, man: I get older, they stay the same age." (Dazed and Confused)

I have successfully trained my non-Wire watching girlfriend to call out "Five-0" when we see a police car. I have also been known to use "tool up" quite a bit on my own.

Another vote for "Thats what she said."

"Raging Bull, Al Pacino," "Who do you think you are?", "What gives you the right?", "Yersh", and probably a few others I am forgetting also from the Office.

Hatfield said...

"Much too silly!" - Graham Chapman on Monty Python

"Bad form!" from Hook, or in the same cases and even better, from The Addams Family movie: "Dirty pool, old man. Never again!"

I can recite Clue, The Princess Bride and Big Trouble in Little China, so anyone who knows me has seen them multiple times whether they know it or not. My favorite is when attempting to figure something out, from Clue: "Maybe Mr. Boddy killed the cook!"

From Clueless, after pre-eating disorder Brittany Murphy calls Cher "a virgin who can't drive," Cher's response of "That was way harsh, Tai" is perfect for anytime someone says something mean. Also, in response to being introduced to anyone, "Get out of my chair"

TimmyD said...


I'm going to take this opportunity to ask a question I've been meaning to ask you for a long time.

I am dating a girl who looked through my DVR recently and was mortified that I save "King of Queens" episodes for rainy days. I never watched the show when it was airing new episodes and always thought it looked really horrible but I've slowly come to love it. I defended myself saying that even though its not a particularly innovative show it makes me laugh out loud almost every time I watch it, which is all I expect from a syndicated sitcom. She still thinks I'm insane.

Who is right? Should I be embarrassed? What was your opinion of the show when it was airing new episodes? Maybe you can write her a letter defending me? My credibility depends on this.

and for a quote "Help me Alan Sepinwall, you're my only hope"


Anonymous said...

Last night's 90210 was actually the best episode they've done. Which is ironic since it was the first one without any of the original cast. I'm starting to wonder if having them around actually hurt the show more than it helped. Because last night was the first time any of the new people were interesting or seemed worth caring about.

Bobman said...

I can recite .... Big Trouble in Little China....

Oh God my lexicon is filled with these, probably almost as much as Simpsons quotes.

"Son of a b**ch must pay"
"All right wang let's just chew our way out."
"Or check into a psycho ward whichever comes first..."

And if anyone ever asks me if I have my keys, I always say "Of course I do but they're in the..."

Similarly, if someone is daydreaming at a green light, "Light's green, you can go."

I shoudl stop, I'm pretty sure I could do a one man show just reciting that movie from start to finish, and so many of the quotes are applicable in daily life.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, Dazed & Confused. "You can't give a build-up like that and then not... deliver!"

Also: "I feel like complete shit, Ferris" whenever I'm feeling sick; Fezzik's "Everybody MOVE!" when I'm in a huge crowd of slow-moving people, and Toby's "There is literally no one in the world that I don't hate right now," which I use pretty much ever day.

Okay, I promise to stop now.

Anonymous said...

"I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion" (from Donnie Darko).

Use it whenever someone either bails on a previous engagement, or when someone has a drastically different view than everyone else involved.


"I don't know, I think its kinda charming when Sarah Palin winks at us."

"Jenny. Please. I really doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion."

Anonymous said...

Forgot a few of my faves:

"A repo man is always intense."

"Find one in every car."

"Look at 'em, ordinary f%%%ing people, I hate 'em."

And oh, cripes, how could I forget this one:"

"Poor you!"

AngieNCSC said...

"You feel me? I feel ya, dog." --The Wire.

Funniest when said by my three-year-old.

"I need a re-up" --The Wire
Frequently used in our house to refer to getting something from the grocery store--milk, bread, eggs, etc.

"Well, there it is." The Emperor in "Amadeus"--extremely useful phrase when there's not much else to say.

"Thank you, Mater, thank you" --Cars (currently extremely popular with the under-seven set in our house)

Oh, there are so many...

Anonymous said...

How could I forget that for anything economics or money related, some riff on Homer's dialogue with his brain can be incorporated: "$20, but I wanted a peanut. $20 can buy many peanuts. Explain how? money can be exchanged for goods and services. Woo-hoo!"

I also find myself often using
Sheeeeeeeeit (Clay Davis style)

"Vee are nihilists, vee believe in nothing!"

jogree01 said...

"These Pretzels are making me thirsty" from Seinfeld has to be the most random quote that fits into every day annoyances.

"Her" from arrested development works all the time, and of course "why have rational discussion when you can have bob-loblaw" for and silly arguments one might run across.

El Mariachi said...

@ DAn

Any Fast Show fans here?

Yes!Though a south-european one, the "Channel 9" type.

"Suits you, sir!"

"Where's me washboard?"

"... which was nice."

"Oh bugger!"

"Me? The 13th Duke of Wybourne? Here? With my reputation?"

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"Anyone fancy a pint?"
(often used within my group of friends at the pub, as the evening begins)

and, of course:

"I! I'm Ed Winchester!"

Trent Jensen said...

From Seinfeld, when answering a phone call from a friend:

"Who is this?"

From the Simpsons:

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times? You stupid monkey!"

Anonymous said...

Just about anything from Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse. "Pain don't hurt" is a big one. And Sam Elliot's "Nothing I ain't used to, but it is amazing what you can get used to..."

Back when I lived in Wisconsin, every winter we would bust out "Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?" from Better Off Dead

"I'm Lloyd Dobbler" is also a perfect response to any question that shouldn't really require an answer.

"Well played, Garkle." and "My mind has come alive like toys when your back is turned!" from 30 Rock.

"That's a shame..." said with no real emotion, from Seinfeld.

"When someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES." - Ghostbusters

My friends and I have declared that there is a Simpsons quote game going on at all times, and everyone on earth is playing. You give points to others based upon their references, accuracy, and how smoothly they work it in to the situation. some of the most popular: "Oh god, I've wasted my life." "Me flunk english? That's un-possible." "Ralphie, what is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?"

Anonymous said...

"You shot who in the what now?" is used anytime someone says anything that doesn't make sense. So that means it gets used pretty much daily around here.

Sometimes there is a rare perfect moment to use "Many of you are wondering what's wrong with my pants," from Hot Shots. Oh Lloyd, we miss you so.

Anonymous said...

The Simpsons, I think, is easily the most quotable television show of all time.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals...except the weasel."

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

"Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems."

"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix."

Anonymous said...

Ditto on "It's nice to be nice to the nice." - Frank Burns

One I use constantly is "Look who knows so much" (as in "Ooo hoo hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead." from The Princess Bride)

My new favorite quote has got to be "No, it's just that my people are Nordic". (Betty Draper).

Anonymous said...

Oh, I have tons of these, but most have already been mentioned.

But my brother and I like to call each other "wicked retahded" in a faux Boston accent...which might come from Good Will Hunting, or a play on Finding Nemo from when the crabs talk about how "wicked dahk" it was at ocean floor...I can't remember.

Anonymous said...

"I like this [insert anything] so much, I'm going to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant." From 30 Rock.

Unknown said...

More movies than TV but
"Have fun storming the castle" (Princess Bride) and
"And don't call me Shirley" (Airplane) have at least weekly relevance for me.

This isn't quite pop culture from my lifetime (although I did love the Burns & Allen reruns when I saw them in the 70s): but
"Say goodnight Gracie." "Goodnight, Gracie" is still a charmer at the end of the night.

Anonymous said...

Given that "The Wire" is the only t.v. show I watch(ed), I am delighted that my favorite quote from it has yet to be mentioned:

"He got to get got." - Certainly said by Omar and probably several other characters.

Unknown said...

Two that spring to mind.

My partner and I frequently morph into Edina & Patsy from Ab Fab and always refer to ourselves at "Sweety Darling."

"Get on with it the MotherF***ers" - The Wire

bill said...

"You know, for kids."
--Hudsucker Proxy

Anonymous said...

"deserve's got nothing to do with it" - William Munny/Snoop.

amitytv said...

Two from Seinfeld:

Elaine and Putty are discussing where to go eat and Putty says, "Feels like an Arby's night."
We substitute any restuarant there.

Then, when Jerry is talking to his deaf girlfriend and she mistakes "six" for 'sex" when they were talking about what time to pick her up or something.
"Six is good, I like six."

Anonymous said...

When asked how I'm feeling: "Like my mother used to say, it's nothing a four nap and a good f#ck wouldn't cure." -LA Story

"Let's not start sucking each other's d#cks just yet." Pulp Fiction

I have a bit of a potty mouth.
Too many Star Wars references to type.

Anonymous said...

I like to find a way to use, "Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock" from my favorite Simpsons exchanges:

Homer: Well, there's not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, sweetie.
Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.
Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work. It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: I see.
Lisa: But you don't see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.

KLE said...

from Mad About you, Paul's mother at the beginning of a party:

You bawt ice? He bawt ice!

Anonymous said...

Other quotes from shows/movies mentioned before:

Broadcast News boss: It must by nice to know that you’re always the smartest person in the room—that you’re always right and everyone else is always wrong.

Holly Hunter (plaintively): No, it’s hell.

Jimmy: Dave, I didn't think motivation was important, either, 'till I got involved with some motivational seminars and it really changed my life.

Dave: Really? That surprises me. I didn't think you were the sort of person that would attend one of those.

Jimmy: No, I don't. I put them together. Pack a few hundred suckers into a motel ballroom, hire an out-of-work actor to paraphrase the opening scene from "Patton", charge 'em five-hundred bucks a pop and boom, bob's your uncle.

Kids in the Hall when Kevin McDonald played the ultra-insensitive guy who got his sucker friend (Dave Foley) to bust him out of prison with a saw inside a cake. Foley gets busted and as he’s being thrown into jail, he sees the guards release McDonald.

Foley (angrily sputtering): If you were getting out today why would have me try to bust you out?!

McDonald: I had an appointment this morning. But don’t worry. I can reschedule.

Unknown said...

This discussion is so fun!

From Waiting for Guffman:

"I hate you, and I hate your ass face!"

And from Tommy Boy:

"I think your brain has a THICK candy shell."

Anonymous said...

Couple more Arrested Development:

"But it MIGHT work for us..."

and "I've made a huge mistake."

Anonymous said...

Three favorites -

MMM, bacon -- from some simpsons episode (I don't know which, my husband started it)

it's a moo point. - Joey from Friends. you know a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter...

and "that's the way it crumbles, cookie-wise" - from The Apartment.

Anonymous said...

"Heeeey brother!"~ Buster, Arrested Development

Whenever I call my brother on the phone, that is how the conversation always starts.

Anonymous said...

From Newsradio:

"Not to mention, Kermit the Dang Frog!"
"But Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no!"
"This one pleases me. I keep."
"I try to be good hard worker, but refridgamator so messy. So, so messy."
"This has been the worst cracker time in recorded history"
"You looooooooooooooooooooooooooooove him"
"It's pronounce Evil-Lynn."
"Kazizzah, my Diznoofus." related: "Miznerotic"

Anonymous said...

Some Simpsons I've been using frequently lately:

"Homer no function beer well without."

"Po-mo. Post-Modern. Yeah, all right, weird for the sake of being weird."

"I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific harm."

Then there's always "Pulp Fiction":

"Look at the big brain on Brett!"

"Say 'what' one more time!"

I also bust out with "Golly!" and "brown word" when I mean...well, the brown word.

Anonymous said...

Cripes, I can't believe I left out some South Park references:

Adding "Mmmkay" to any admonishment.

"Respect my authoritay!"

"Oh, my God, you killed Kenny! You bastards!"

Then there's my fave quote from "Scrubs": "You know what [people] are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling."

Like someone else on this thread, I have no original words of my own :-)

Anonymous said...

But I used my whole ass.--Homer

That's what she said.

Anonymous said...

Mine is also from The Simpsons, and it's "My favorite book is magazines."

Anonymous said...

"I ated too much pie."
-Mr. Show with Bob & David

Anonymous said...

WAY too many, and some people have already said a few of mine, like from 30 Rock or Pulp Fiction. Here's a few I didn't see:

- You're using my 'babies' now?
-No soup for you! Come back ONE year!
And I write on all my friend's birthday cards: "Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not
to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing."

Nacho Libre:
-HEEEEY, take it easy! (In Jack Black's accented voice)

Chappelle's show:
-What you mean, YOU people? (From the "Real World" sketch)
-Is Wayne Brady (or insert your own name) gonna have to choke a b*tch?
-I don't like people playin' on my PHONE! (From the "When Keepin' it real goes wrong" sketch)
- Charlie Murphy! Darkness!

Three Amigos:
-Can I have your watch when you are dead? (Me and my friends always use this when we're having a bad time of something)
-Sew! Sew like the wind! (I use this when someone is doing anything, even sewing)
-Yeah, it's like beer.

Trading places:
-Looking GOOD, Billy Ray!. FEELING good, Louis
-May I suggest using your night stick officer?

-Using the whole fist, Doc?

Animal house:
-Do you mind if we dance with your dates?

Old school:
-Earmuffs (I have kids)
-When it hits your lips, it's SO good (ALWAYS a favorite at bars and parties
-I see Blue. He's GLORIOUS!
-Well, I need you more tonight, I f--kin' need you more than ever!

Anonymous said...

I just remembered another one! Most of my jobs (including my current one) have been service oriented and when it all gets to be too much, I will bust out a little Michele from Gilmore Girls: "People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them."

Anonymous said...

We call Thai food "Thai menu," after "Lisa the Treehugger." We also talk about the jockocracy from the same episode because we live in a state school town: "Now restaurant fail. Children go to state college. Serious
students powerless against drunken jockocracy. Baseball hats everywhere."

"This should provide adequate sustenance for my Dr. Who marathon."

"Eradicator!"--Kids in the Hall

"Dammit, Bobby"--King of the Hill

Hank Hill's noise. You know the one.

Bobman said...

We call Thai food "Thai menu,"

I'm always looking for the opening to use :

"You like Thai?"
"Tie good, you like shirt?"

(from "Homer to the Max")

KLE said...

from Doctor Who:

"It's bigger on the inside"

My 4yo often goes around inquiring "Hey, who turned off the lights?" and subsequently, the Vashta Nerada are responsible for many mishaps around the house.

Alan Sepinwall said...

Can I just say that I love you guys? And that half of these are also part of my everyday conversation?

I have no linguistic skills of my own.

Anonymous said...

one of my favorites, from Miller's Crossing, that sadly almost never gets recognized:

"You's fancypants! All a you's!"

I also have co-opted "hoople-head" from Deadwood, and try to use that often.

Hatfield said...

Yeah, this has been perhaps the best post here ever, and this is coming from a "Wire" and "Mad Men" obsessive. I'm seeing so many that I say all the time but didn't even think of when I responded earlier. Two more quick ones:

"Hook it to my veins!!" - Barney

"Poor Floppsy's gone and never called me 'Mother.'" - Python again

Anonymous said...

Wow, no mention at all for my main sources:

Old School:

"(so-and-so) is always watching, always judging."

"And we're going to Bed, Bath and Beyond. If we have time."

"Earmuffs!" Said to elderly parent, not to kids, when cursing is forthcoming.

Also Scrubs gets some play. If I'm using a gadget/product that I really like, I'll say it in Janitor's inflection for "knife-wrench."

For example, I love my Swiffer, so after using it, if someone's in the room, I'll hold it up and say. "Swif-fer. For kids!"

I use other Janitorisms, too, but I'm drawing a blank on which ones right now.

And sadly, I've picked up "Coolio" from Dr. Elliot Reed. I say it all the time, and I hate myself for it.

Anonymous said...

"Like some goddamn bolshevik gettin' his orders from yeg central..." Miller's Crossing is endlessly quotable.

30 Rock: "Live every week like it's Shark Week!"

Seinfeld: "That ain't dancing, Sally."

And, when someone wants me to get out of bed, or exert myself in any way, I just lie there saying, "Go... away... cookie man." From the Baumbach Kicking and Screaming (not the Will Ferrell one).

Anonymous said...

"Hook it to my veins!!" - Barney
"Well, there it is." The Emperor in "Amadeus"

Oh yes, two more favourites.

Also: "Eeeeevil. Like the fru-its of the deVIL." - So I Married an Axe Murderer.

And! I have a friend who calls me Francesca and I call him Bruno (as in Fiore and Ponce-Jones (KITH)).

Man, this post is just too much fun.

jana said...

I almost forgot the one we say almost every day: Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.

Anonymous said...

Many of mine have already been covered, but it looks like I'm the only West Wing dork here.

[insert topical noun for "crime"]...boy I don't know.

J'accuse mon petite fromage!

I LOVE dry rub!

GW! Blue! Blue!

When [whoever] get together, it's a barnburner.

It's hard to believe no one's written a folk song about that.

I don't think this one from the Simpsons has been mentioned: It's a perfectly cromulent word.

Garrett said...

Sean Connery in "Goldfinger": "It's like listening to the Beatles without earmuffs."

Prop Joe: "Out of respect for his skill set ... "

The scientist in "Help!": "With a ring like this, I could - dare I say it - control the world." (Substitute whatever item for ring. Unless a ring is involved.)

Anonymous said...

I say "Oh YEAH!" A la Kramer all the time.

And I have completely internalized D'oh! I don't even think of it as a Simpson reference anymore.

Anonymous said...

"Don't try and confuse me with the facts!" from Newsradio is one I fall back on quite often when I'm losing an argument.

Anonymous said...

I could have a whole conversation made up entirely of "Simpsons" references. Or "Spinal Tap" references.

But for this, I'm gonna go with Ghostbusters.

"This job is definitely not worth 11.5 a year."

par3182 said...

at least once a week quotes:

exxxxcelent - the simpsons

merci blah blah - pee-wee's big adventure

i'll meet you at the place near the thing where we went that time - broadcast news

i hope not sporadically - clueless

get. out. - seinfeld

neglectarino said...

Most of my favorite & oft-used TV quotes are from The Simpsons, but a particular favorite is "Godspeed little doodle," from the Boy Scouts episode with Ernest Borgnine. A little cheese doodle all on it's own on a big, big river doesn't stand a chance.

Otherwise, it's everyone's favorite line from The Princess Bride: "Have fun storming the castle!"

And now that I think about it, I guess both refer to tilting-at-windmills, almost futile undertakings.

Anonymous said...

"Her?" in the Arrested Development voice.

Anonymous said...

"Godspeed, Nibbles" and "prove me wrong, kids; prove me wrong" from Principal Skinner.

Also, "Go to bread" from the babysitting episode.

jana said...

OMG! I almost forgot my favorite advice from the sage Jack Donaghy: Never go with a hippie to a second location.

Anonymous said...

Ellie, you're not the only WW dork. AT least once a week, one of my girlfriends will say derisively about her boyfriend/husband, "Oh no, girls, you can't have him. He's mine."


"Fire bad, tree pretty." from Buffy, when we're really tired.

"Do not taunt the demon." from Buffy, when referring to children or an annoyed friend.

"Sleep well and dream of laaaahge women." - The Princess Bride

"You shouldn't (action) Johnny. My mother (action) me once. ONCE." - Johnny Dangerously

Countless quotes from Sports Night:

"Shoe money tonight!"

"Are you shrinking, Isaac?"

If someone wears blue when we go out, "Are you getting $2 off your giant blue margarita?"

"How do you know I don't have a big house?"

"You're taking the high road."
"I can't even SEE you from up here."

Which brings to mind "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Anonymous said...

The In-Laws: "What flow? There isn't any flow!"

Deadwood: "Change calls the tune we dance to."

Casablanca: "What watch? Ten watch." (whenever Dad or I ask for the time)

Home for the Holidays: "Float. Just float." (very effective in stressful holiday gatherings)

And, the family favorites from The Deer Hunter: "This is this. This ain't something else. This is this." And, "Socks! She keeps sending me socks!"

Unknown said...

From Miller's Crossing when meeting up with someone: "What's the rumpus?"


When someone is BSing you, from the dentist in Last Exit to Springville: "Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?"

When something random happens, from Marge vs. the Monorail: "The cosmic dance continues."

When you have been deprived of the best things in life: "No TV and no beer make Homer something something."

The Big Lebowski-

When someone is rambling on, and must be done in the best Dude voice: "Well, that's just, like, your opinion man."

When jostled "Hey, careful man, there's a beverage here!"

And finally, in any situation: "I hate the f*&%ing Eagles!"

Karen said...

"Fanmail from some flounder?"

Anonymous said...

We just had it happen...

"She's gone already, chief."

A reference to the classic Letterman drive-through bit where he annoys a woman so much that she exits the drive-though while Dave's still riffing.

Charles said...

When my wife or I say something we didn't want to hear. "MFer! The chair didn't recognize your ass." - The Wire

Anonymous said...

Trading places

"[Indecipherable gibberish] Beef jerky time!"

I can do this all night (man, I have no life):

From Ghostbusters: "Yes, it's true--this man has no dick."

Get Smart: "Would you believe [insert random word]?

Columbo: "Just one more thing...."

Ren & Stimpy: "You eeeediot!" and "See how I love to clean filthy cat boxes!" (yes, I have cats)

KotH: "That boy ain't right" and "I tell you what."

Buffy: "Not so much."

Simpsons: "What part of 'di di mao' do you not understand?"

Animal House: "See if you can guess what I am now?" and "You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine."

Monty Python: "And then, the oral sex!"

Mr. Show: "Too-la-roo!"

And my embarrassing confession: I can't remember the "Her?" from AD. Someone please describe the scene, please?

Pamela Jaye said...

I was fairly desperate (esp since i didn't manage to get Chuck) and decided to watch 90210.

It was actually okay.
A plotline (or maybe even 2) started, which seems likely to continue (except for the fact that they are rerunning the pilot next week - is that stupid timing or some more politics related balderdash?)

Naomi, Adrianna, and the new girl (newer than Annie) were interesting.

Whatever happened, probably has happened on tons of teen shows before, but I don't remember it happening on Buffy, Veronica Mars, Boston Public, or Joan of Arcadia, so... I'm interested to see how it turns out (and here's Les's chance to cancel it!)

Also, principal and Naomi's mom are chatting about "the son" again. (were either of these people in the original series? *as* these people?)

the ending was good. and cliff-hangy. you might have wanted to wait one more week to give up.
or, you might find these developments completely predictable - having seen way too much TV. (I never watched DeGrassi or Dawson's Creek or Gossip Girl or Gilmore Girls or (was there anything else I missed in the High School genre?) so I don't know.

Off to Private Practice Phone Tag. The opening is reminding me of Brothers & Sisters produced by someone who just got transitions on their video editor, and likes one in particular, a whole lot. But that's okay.

Hyde said...

Leaving out a few that were already mentioned:

I know he didn't originate the phrase, but I often say "Holy crap!" with a Frank Barone-like gusto.

And then there's Homer Simpson's "Mmmmmmm..." in front of random words.

Anonymous said...

If I'm starting the second part of something, I like to call it Del Boca Vista Phase II, like where the Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld live in Florida. And obviously, That's what she said.

After reading this, I'm definitely going to start using re-up in a wider range of situations, like what I need at the store.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I live to quote. I'm amazed how entrenched it is and, of course, secretly love it! We quote movies, TV, name it, we'll quote it.

So many people have mentioned so many we do like: Blergh!; "That's what she said."; "Earmuffs."; "brain cloud"; everything mentioned so far from Arrested Development and The Big Lebowski; bless the person who referenced Piscopo's infamous line in "Johnny Dangerously." :)

My entire Polish clan quotes certain movies like nobody's business, especially:

Blues Brothers: "How much for the women?" *and* anything and everything from Caddyshack.

I quote constantly from Weird Science; The Breakfast Club; Ferris Bueller; Sixteen Candles. My husband and I quote nearly daily from Seinfeld, Friends. Others quoted: The Office; 30 Rock; Arrested Development; South Park; Wedding Crashers; Office Space; Napolean Dynamite; Old School; The Forty-Year Old Virgin; Pulp Fiction; and all of Sasha Baron Cohen's lines as King of the Lemurs in Madagascar.

To pick special quotes from all is a special torture as most of you understand, but here's a "few":

Sixteen Candles: "The girl with the so...vogue."

"Life is not whatnot and it's none of your business."

"Lake...big lake."

"Sofa City, Sweetheart." (esp. when a nap will be taken)

"I wanna be at home with you guys."

"Mr. T!"

Weird Science: "Who is this Gary character?"

Friends: "What was I thinking? Jeans have no give!" (Joey at Thanksgiving")

"Uh, uh...FINE BY ME!" (Ross to Rachel))

"Monica, I'm scared!" (Phoebe trying to take off a sweater while stuck on the phone))

"Ms. Chanandler Bong"

"You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance." (Chandler)

" hand is messed up!" (Chandler after playing too much Ms. Pac-Man)

"The line is a *dot* to you!" (Joey to Chandler)

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" (Monica)

"But it's lah-mi-nated" (Isabella Rosellini to Ross)

"...and I have to live with a boy!" (Monica crying to Rachel who's moving out...often said to hubby by me!) :)

"My eyes! My eyes!" (Phoebe seeing Monica and Chandler *together*)

"I said 'share', *not* 'scare!" (Ross to Chandler)

"I'm really good at Cups."

Both "You are a robot!" and "You're dead inside." (Monica to Chandler)

Seinfeld: "Sweet Fancy Moses." (Jerry)

"That's 'bad' naked."

"Yada, yada, yada...I mentioned the bisque." (Elaine, coy smile)

"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things." (Elaine)

"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli." (George)

"And they're the ones who are writing it off." (Kramer)

"A Festivus for the rest-of-us!" (Frank)

"All signs point to yes." (Puddy)

"Talk to me babe." (Puddy)

Elaine vs. Puddy

E: "David, I'm going to hell! The worse place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing. And the heat! My God, the heat! I mean, what do you think of all that?"
P: "Gonna be rough."
E: "Uh, you should be trying to save me!"
P: "Don't boss me! This is why you're going to hell."
E: "I'm not going to hell, and if you think I'm going to hell, you should care that I'm going to hell even though I am not."
P: "You stole my Jesus fish, didn't you?"
E (places hands beside her head with index fingers raised as 'horns' and emits a hilarious gutteral growling sound: "Yeah, that's right!"

Arrested Development: "No touching." (esp. when said on Father/Daughter at Work day.)

Borat: Niiiiiiiiiice!


"Just smile and wave boys. Smile and wave." (Skipper Penguin)

"Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again." (King Julian)

"(shouting) How long is this going to take?!" (King Julian)

The Big Lebowski: "Come on, you're being very un-Dude."

Also: "...I'm the know, that, or, his Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing." (often just use the last 8 words)

And: "And stay away from my special...from my f'ing lady friend, man."

One of our favorite quotes to say to one another when in testy or silly moods (hubby and I) is from Albert Brook's "Mother" (run, don't walk--a must see). He's on the phone with his mom and she ends with "I love you." Then he says, "I know you think you do."

Stuff my Dad and I often quote:

Simpsons: "Mmmmm....floor pie."

The Goonies: "Hey, Mikey...gimme a big wet slickery kiss!"

Better Off Dead: "I want my two dollars!" (I also like to grab my husband's cheeks and say, "Christ-mas...Christmas!")

Used Cars: Fifty bucks never killed anybody!"

History of the World Part I: "It's good to be the King."

Too many more and it's too late at night...Alan, you are a temptor of the highest order. We all love ya for it!

Anonymous said...

“…bacon is good…” (Pulp Fiction)

“never give up, never surrender” (Galaxy Quest, and a million other quotes from that movie)

“He’s dead, Jim” (Star Trek)

“COOOOOKIE!!!!” (Cookie Monster voice, Sesame Street)

Anonymous said...

“I’m taking down the office now” (Gross Point Blank)

The D said...

Liz Lemon: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after 6 o'clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

Tracy Jordan: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I've got two ears and a heart, don't I?

"PIVOT!" - Friends

Anonymous said...

You're not the only West Wing dork. I often use "piss off the dairy farmers" when discussing politics and the debates, mostly in relation how it's never ever done.

Also, from the same, "...Yep, I screwed ya on that one."

I think I'm the first Lost quoter here as well:

"Dude... didn't see that one coming." - Hurley
"Boy howdy! (someone or something performing a normal routine)! Now I've heard(/seen) ev'rythin'." - Sawyer
"See ya in another life, brotha." - Desmond

"I've got a proposition for ya." - Prop Joe, The Wire
"What the **** did I do?" - McNulty, The Wire
"Happy now, *****?" - Bunk, The Wire

"Don't turn me into a horned toad for asking, but..." - Spike, BtVS
"I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away." - Zander, BtVS
"MY (object) IS BROKEN!! THIS IS BULL****!!" - Colin Guinn, Amazing Race
"...150 up to 200 percent." - Survivor

Probably have a ton more that just come and go.

Anonymous said...

And could I (or any of you) forget:

"***************************************************!" - Clay Davis, The Wire

Michael said...

- D'oh!
- Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
- So I got that going for me, which is nice.
- Let's go, while we're young!
- That's what she said.
- It's not a tumor!
- These aren't the droids you're looking for.
- Otis! My man!
- I hate when that happens.
- I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who uses this Arrested Development line- "That was a freebie."

KLE said...

Whenever I offer two identical servings of something for my husband to choose from, and because he knows I am part Sicilian, I am always asked which one contains the Iocain powder.

Also, he is fond of "we have both kinds of music - country AND western"

Anonymous said...

"Can't someone else do it?!" Homer Simpsons slogan when running for some kind of office in Springfield. Very useful when talkning about politics.

Anonymous said...

bless the person who referenced Piscopo's infamous line in "Johnny Dangerously." :)

I still call people fargin' iceholes and bastiges.

Remember when SNL used to yield good quotes?

"But noooooooo!"

"Jane, you ignorant slut."

I will occasionally pull out some "Blue Velvet," especially if I'm out with friends for drinks: "Heineken? F*** that s***! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

And just two days ago, I used this at work: "I can't take his money! I can't print my own money! I have to work for money! Why don't I just lay down and die!?"

Anonymous said...

Okay, I realized I have more and not just from The Wire:

"Let us never speak of it again."
-Marge Simpson

And, although I've never had an opportunity to use it in every day conversation, my favorite dialogue from Arrested Development:

Michael to Gob: "We've got to get rid of the Seaward."

Lucille: "I'll leave when I'm good and ready."

Anonymous said...

First off:
I can't believe that Matt Groening would be "forced" to do anything on Fox anymore... If so, then Fox is pretty good about letting him make all the jokes at their expense.

I do agree though, that when watching what I think is a really very good Simpsons episode, the inclusion of the "critic" character is just dumb, as NO ONE I know recalls him today.

I won't name any now, but for me, Futurama had so many quoatables.. sigh.

Hatfield said...

As a lover of The Critic, let me prove the above poster wrong:

"Hotchie Motchie!"

"It stinks!"

"Wait a minute...eggs don't ripen! EGGS DON'T RIPEN!!"

"I didn't ask to be Vice President of balloon doggies, the balloon doggies demanded it!"

arrabbiata said...

This is the kind of thing where there are many that I use on a regular basis (dozens from the Simpsons alone), but I'll only remember them when they actually come up. But here's a few that I can think of-

"Then what would happen to man's search for knowledge?" Cyrano Jones on why he didn't offer full disclosure on the dangers of owning tribbles. I often use it when my students want me to give them answers they should be investigating up themselves.

"We make great pasta. It balances out." Lt Al Giardello in response to the unforgiving nature of some Italians.

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb." From the Batman (Adam West) movie.

Daryl Zero on the topic of looking for things:
"When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world, you're sure to find some of them."
I rarely get the chance to break out the full quote, so more just a philosophy of life.

Taleena said...

I love this thread By Grapthar's Hammer

Anonymous said...

I’ve stolen way more lines from TV than may be healthy.

From Taxi: "But then the apple man will think we like rotten apples."

Looking back at what we accomplished at work this week, I referenced Hawkeye's use of "retroactive hernia."

Also from MASH: "Horse hockey!" and the many variants. ("Cow cookies!")

Johnny Fever: "I'd like to take you home with me and kiss you all over in the dark."

Bill O'Reilly: "That is MY job."

At a diner, nobody can order a cheeseburger without me chiming in "chee-burger chee-burger."

When handed an envelope, I instinctively put it to my forehead, Carnac style. ("Sis Boom Bah." .... "Describe the sound made by an exploding sheep.")

Simon Cowell: “What the bloody hell was that?”

Archie Bunker: “Stop ... dat ... youuuuusssss.”

Toby on West Wing: “Why do we have to take the entire world out for an ice cream cone?!

(Also from WW - I think - I want to work in: "I have this recurring dream about killing you. What do you suppose that means?")

Young Frankenstein: “Well, they were wrong, weren't they.”

Broadcast News: “I say it here, it comes out there.”

Well that’s my list for now … and “I am outta here.”

Alan Sepinwall said...

I can't believe that Matt Groening would be "forced" to do anything on Fox anymore...

Groening even had his name taken off the episode in protest. (Though it appears this was more of a James L. Brooks thing than a Fox thing.)

Chickenlady said...

Fun! Lessee...

We use Lebowski a lot:

This aggression will not stand.

Shut the f*** up, Donny!

The dude abides.

That's, like, your opinion, man!

Chickenlady said...

I use this one a lot, but no one ever gets it:

Nope, it's oak.

It's from a classic MASH episode (as opposed to feel-good treacly MASH).

Henry Burns is showing off a new desk:

Burns: Guess what kind of wood that is.
Radar: Oak.
Burns: Nope, it's oak.

Comes in very handy when people know the answer to something I want to tell them anyway.

We also use "I got beeyah" (beer) in bad Jo Polnyacek accent.

Anonymous said...

"that's a big chicken."
- woody allen, sleeper

used in proper context yesterday as the washington capitals mascot (an eagle) drove past my office window on 19th st. in dc.

after meetings:
"meeting is adjourned. it is?"
- gov. william j. lepetomane

"f$@# you. that's my name"
"coffee is for closers"
and practically every other alec baldwin line from glengarry glen ross.

also, "who told you you could work with men?" - ricky roma

Davy said...

"I couldn't be any more proud of you right now. I could only be less proud." -- Sarah Silverman Show

"Evil! Evil! Impolite and Evil!" -- The Kids in the Hall

"Bored now." -- Vamp Willow, from Buffy the Vamp Slayer

"Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut." ; "Would you stop naming nuts!" -- Best in Show
(Used when someone starts rambling by listing things)

"Shock me, shock me, shock me, with your deviant behavior." -- Empire Records

...and my faves that others have mentioned:

"Inconceivable" & "I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Princess Bride

"It's not a tumor!" (pronounced "TOO-mah," of course) -- Kindergarten Cop

Davy said...

Oh yeah, before I forget -- someone above mentioned "wicked re-tah-ded!" I know that best from the SNL sketches where Jimmy Fallon & Rachael Dratch are boston teens.

Anonymous said...

You stay classy, [fill in the blank]!

KLE said...

An early American Idol reject is often quoted in our house. They had been reminded to show their artistry and personalities during the audition - Rose took this to mean in lieu of actual musicianship. So after being rejected for an excruciatingly tuneless audition, she defended herself by explaining "I wasn't *trying* to sing "the notes".

And did anyone else see Goodman's blog post from yesterday, entitled "Bring Out Your Dead"

Anonymous said...

Family Guy -
Nothing says job well done like a slap on the a**

Trading Places -
"We are moving! We are moving!"

Caddyshack -
"So I've got that going for me, which is nice."

Tommy Boy -
"Where's moron? Moron's here."

South Park
"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

Pamela Jaye said...

- I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

i'm a Zucker Brothers fan

my brother?

He's Josh "bring me all the bagels and muffins in the land" Lyman.

I had roomies who loved Monty Python - they could of course quote entire sketches.

my brother also has some quote from Broadcast News, i think, and of course
"I'm Andrew Shepherd, and I *am* the President"

Aaron's highly quotable.

I also like "Quarter cup of Brandy and let it simmer" from the immortal Buffy ep, Pangs (by Jane Espenson, I believe, though many Buffy writers have had to disavow their great lines as they were polishes by Joss) where Buffy saves the world while making Thanksgiving Dinner.
Of course that probably does not compare to the awesome West Wing Thanksgiving epsiode, Shibboleth.

Michael said...

Some more I forgot:

- You can't handle the truth!
- Sometimes you just gotta say, "what the f***"
- I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
- Badges? We don't need no steenkin badges! Hahahah! (the Blazing Saddles version, used mostly at work)
- Yippi-kay-yay, motherf***er
- And there was much rejoicing. (Yay.)
- Hasta la vista, bay-bee.
- I'll be bock.

Anonymous said...

Badges? We don't need no steenkin badges! Hahahah! (the Blazing Saddles version, used mostly at work)

"Oh, booooys! Lookee what I got heyuh!"
"Hey, where the white women at?"

"It's twue, it's twue!"

I also remembered some others I use a lot:

"Ramming speed!" (Animal House) (I frequetly say this when accelerating)

"Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!" (Blues Bros.)

"How much for the little girl? (Blues Bros.)

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." (SW)

Anonymous said...

Lucille Bluth:

"If that is a veiled criticism of me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it."

"I don't know who that is and I don't care to find out."

as well as

"Say goodbye to these..."

...and I quote Rushmore all the time:

"Kiss me little Juan" (at random moments to my boyfriend)

"I wrote a hit play!"

"Sic transit gloria"

"Yeah, well tell that stupid Mick he just made my To Do list. I'm gonna pop a cap in his ass."


"I'm squishing your head!" (the Kids in the Hall)

"All in the game, yo"

"See, you thought it was one way...but it's the other way."
(the Wire)

"San Francisco cocksucker!" (Deadwood)

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw" (Heathers) is a good expression of surprise.

"We're Oscar Mike"
"Poh-lice that moostache!"

G Kill

oh, and:

"Wildcard, bitches!" (it's always sunny in philadelphia)

Anonymous said...

I've read all the comments and can't believe no one has quoted from The Odd Couple. I use all of these lines, and many more, quite often. There has never been a show like it. MASH and All in the Family had great quotable one-liners, too.

I like ketchup. It's like tomato wine

When you assume, you make an Ass of U and Me

FELIX: What are you doing?
OSCAR: Sterilizing the wound.
FELIX: With beer?
OSCAR: It's got alcohol in it.

I am a dramatization of a doctor

FELIX: Love has made me strong
OSCAR: Yeah, but strength has made him stronger

Looks like you got this whole place free with a tank of gas!

Mr Friend is fast asleep, and Mr. Enemy is wide awake

Some guy named Floyd just shook my hand

You are really in in PICKLE. A PEACH of a morning

Gee, Oscar, if you were Chinese you would have won.

Pops a pip

It’s a wellknown fact Lincoln loved mayonaise

Arastophanes is Ridiculous

The got Skyler

I don’t have time to unravel your logic

If her IQ were one one point higher she’d have the mentality of a handball

And the ultimate, most famous, classic Odd Couple line of them all.

Everyone thinks I'm a hypochondriac. It makes me sick

There are too many others. These are just the ones off the top of my head.

Zil said...

Nothing from Office Space? I use the Lumbergh voice all the time: "Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and (do whatever).

Anonymous said...

What a list. Here are a couple I don't think have come up:

"Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see" Seinfeld when Kramer is Moviephone

"I love it when a plan comes together" A-Team

"Kill the children" Albert Brooks in Lost in America while working as a crossing guard.

Walter said...

Whenever I'm invited to something I'd rather not attend:

I have to return some videotapes.

Anonymous said...

I'm Smart! SRMT!

Lis Riba said...

Quote: "Brain? Brain? What is brain?"

And the word "cromulent" has entered our vocabulary, since it really is a perfectly cromulent word.

Anonymous said...

I use varients of these at different times:

"Chewing gum in line, eh? I hope you brought enough for everybody!"
Blazing Saddles.

The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."

I'm starting to like the cut of this man's gibberish
Live action Tick

Unknown said...

The late great Strother Martin, in 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid'.

"Morons...I've got morons on my team."

Anonymous said...

"Tanks fer nuttin'"

-Maggie O'Hooligan (Caddyshack)

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to like the cut of this man's gibberish
Live action Tick

I quote the cartoon more often, especially "Spoon!" and "Keen!" and "Not in the face! Not in the face!" :-)

Anonymous said...

"Facts [scoff]. Facts can be used to prove anything that's even remotely true"
- Homer